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Wicked Heat

Chicago Heat Series #1

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Ella Frank

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Copyright © 2022 by Ella Frank

www.ellafrank.com

Edited by Arran McNicol

Cover Design: Hang Le

No part of this book may be reproduced in any form or by any electronic or mechanical means, including information storage and retrieval systems, without written permission from the author, except for the use of brief quotations in a book review.

This book is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents either are products of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, events, or locales is entirely coincidental.

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Contents

Synopsis

1. Ryan

2. Jameson

3. Ryan

4. Ryan

5. Jameson

6. Ryan

7. Jameson

8. Ryan

9. Jameson

10. Ryan

11. Jameson

12. Ryan

13. Ryan

14. Jameson

15. Ryan

16. Jameson

17. Jameson

18. Ryan

19. Jameson

20. Ryan

21. Jameson

22. Ryan

23. Jameson

24. Jameson

25. Ryan

26. Jameson

27. Ryan

28. Jameson

29. Ryan

30. Jameson

31. Ryan

32. Jameson

33. Ryan

34. Jameson

35. Ryan

36. Jameson

37. Ryan

Thank You

Also by Ella Frank

About the Author

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Synopsis

Ryan

Kind, caring, and protective. Those are the three qualities I’m looking for when it comes to my dream man. In a city as big as Chicago, you wouldn’t think he would be that hard to find, right?

Wrong.

Sure, my boss found a super-sexy detective and my best friend fell madly in love with the most eligible bachelor around. But the only person I’ve met recently is a broody bad boy who saved me at a sketchy pub.

He’s grumpy, rude, and honestly, not that likeable at all. Hardly my “dream” guy.

So why can’t I stop thinking about him?

Jameson

I don’t do friendships. I don’t do relationships either. The very last thing I’m looking for in life is to fall in love and live happily ever after.

So saving some rich guy from losing his wallet is the last thing I want to do on a Friday night. Especially when he looks like someone who just stepped off the cover of GQ.

Fate seems to have other ideas, though, and every time I turn around, he’s there.

A wicked heat simmers between us, threatening to ignite, and though I’ve been trained to put out the flames, I can’t help but think: What’s the worst that could happen if I let this desire burn out of control?

Wicked Heat is book 1 of 2 in Ryan Carrigan & Jameson Clarke's story.

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Chapter 1

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Ryan

“THIS IS WHERE you’re meeting up with the potential love of your life? The place he’s taking you on your first date? Um, I don’t know about that, Jude.” 

I glanced over the roof of the Uber to the small pub it’d pulled up in front of and eyed the dull grey door and brick façade. “You might want to rethink this.”

“I never said love of my life.” Jude shut his door as I walked around to meet him. “That was you. I said hookup. I plan to relax and enjoy myself tonight.”

“Still.” I buttoned my peacoat as I stepped up onto the curb and a plastic bag tumbleweed plastered itself to my pant leg. “It’s a little bit…underwhelming, don’t you think?” 

“Well, I don’t need him to impress me.” Jude waggled his brows. “His photos already did that. Especially the third one of his—”

“Rare and expensive stamp collection?” I chuckled and shook my leg in an attempt to free myself from the plastic tentacle now clinging to it. “I’m so glad you dragged me down here for that.”

“I dragged you down here because you could do with a little relaxing yourself. You’ve been working too hard lately, Ry. When was the last time you went out anywhere other than to get Alexander a coffee and his dry cleaning?”

Okay, so he might have a point. I couldn’t actually remember the last time I’d gone out. The past few weeks at work had been hectic to say the least. Several big news stories had broken at ENN, and as personal assistant to the nation’s top news anchor, Alexander Thorne, that had meant busy days and nights organizing his schedule and making sure he got everything he asked for. 

I loved my job, so sue me. But it really had put a damper on my love life lately.

“Plus,” Jude said, “I kind of wanted you here because this place is…”

“A little sketchy?” Right on cue, the corner light flickered as if to emphasize my point.

“Maybe? So it’s a little less shiny than we’re used to. I’m sure after a couple of drinks things will start to look better.”

That wouldn’t be all that difficult, considering the shiniest thing I could see right now was a broken bottle on the pavement. But Jude really wanted this, and if the situation was reversed, I knew he would tough it out for me. 

“Okay, I’ll stay for a couple of drinks.”

“Ah! You’re the best—and who knows, maybe you’ll meet someone with an impressive stamp collection.” 

I laughed at his ridiculous grin, but when Jude pulled open the door and we stepped inside, my humor instantly dissipated. We might as well have had the words FRESH MEAT printed across our foreheads. 

Never had the term “stood out like a sore thumb” felt more accurate, as the door to the pub slammed shut behind us and everyone inside turned to see who’d entered their local watering hole. 

Now, as a rule, I tended to frequent the same ten or so bars/clubs within a two-mile radius of my apartment. They were familiar, and I knew how to get home from them even when three sheets to the wind. This place, however, was anything but familiar.

Clearly popular on a Friday night, the pub was bustling. There were several groups of guys off to the right standing around a pool table, and running the length of the old building was a packed wooden bar. There were a few old keg barrels acting as extra seating around makeshift tables, and on the other side of the establishment were several booths. 

They were all full tonight, and I almost groaned, because I would’ve done just about anything to slip into one of those and disappear right now. It was more than obvious we weren’t from around here, and if Jude hadn’t assured me this was a gay-friendly pub, I would’ve already been out the door and hailing a cab.

“Do you see him?” I said, hoping the answer would be a big fat no. But when I turned to press Jude for more, I spotted him making his way down the booths, tossing a wave over his shoulder in my direction.

Well, that answered that. He was heading toward a big, brawny guy with a week-old scruff who greeted him with a tilt of his chin. He was just Jude’s type, and while I was happy the guy hadn’t stood my friend up, that meant I had to sit here for however long until I knew one way or another that Jude was happy with his…situation. Then I could leave.

Resigning myself to my fate, I made my way over to the busy bar and picked a spot at the far end. Several heads turned in my direction as I unbuttoned my coat and took a seat on one of the cracked red vinyl stools. The counter in front of me was scuffed up and worn, with stain rings on it. 

A far cry from the shiny bar tops I usually sat at—or watched men dance on—but it would do. A bar was a bar, right? And as long as it sold alcohol, I wouldn’t complain.

“Hey there. Whatcha drinkin’ tonight?”

I looked up from the counter and into the leathery face of a man who appeared as rough around the edges as the bar itself. He had on jeans, a white tee, and a flannel shirt that hung open over the top of it. His sleeves were rolled up his forearms, revealing several faded tattoos, and when I dragged my eyes away from them and up to his face, I thought I caught a smirk before his lips pulled tight again. 

When he said nothing more, my eyes flicked to the back shelf, where there were several different bottles of whiskey, bourbon, and scotch. That was it, other than the standard local beers on tap. 

Sooo, I was guessing a cosmo was out? “A bourbon, neat, thanks.” 

He gave a nod and left to get my drink, and I was about to lay my coat across the counter when I thought better of it, looked to the seat beside me, and then decided to just keep it in my lap instead. 

The low bass of some classic rock song thumped out of speakers I couldn’t see, and with nothing else to do while I waited, I pulled out my phone and began an aimless scroll through my social media.

I clicked on the notifications I was tagged in and spotted one from my best friend, Gabe. It was a “memory” posted from a few years ago. The two of us were standing in my living room and Gabe was holding up a set of keys. It was titled: Roommates!

I grinned, remembering how excited we’d been that day, and then commented underneath: Yeah, until you ran off into the sunset with Marcus and left me with all the bills LOL

Not that I blamed him. Who would? Not only had Gabe gone and fallen in love this past year. He’d gone and done it with one of the most eligible bachelors in Chicago, who coincidentally turned out to be the president of the company I worked for.

It seemed that everyone was falling in love these days. My boss had just gotten married, Gabe had moved in with his lover, and Jude—I glanced over my shoulder to see him leaning across the table laughing at something Scruff Man had said—well, at least he was trying.

“Bourbon, neat.”

“Thanks,” I said to the bartender as a tumbler was placed in front of me, and when I downed the contents in one quick gulp, I winced. Cheap didn’t exactly translate to smooth, but at least I wouldn’t go broke to get a good buzz going tonight.

“Now that’ll put some hair on ya chest.” 

The slurred voice caught my attention, and I turned to see a short man in a crumpled jersey and jeans sidling up beside me. His bloodshot eyes locked on the open collar of my shirt then roved a little farther down, and I had the sudden urge to fasten my top two buttons. 

Instead, I offered a polite half-smile. “Yeah, I think you might be right.” 

I flicked on my phone again, hoping the guy would get the message I wasn’t interested—but no such luck. He climbed/half stumbled onto the barstool beside me, a ripe, pungent odor wafting off him as he did. The mix of alcohol and body odor was strong with this one.

“Haven’t seen ya ’round here before,” he said as he gripped the bar top to steady himself, and it was all I could do not to ask if he could see anything right now. “What’s ya name?”

I thought about lying, because how would he ever know? But even with that knowledge, I couldn’t seem to bring myself do it.

Thanks, Mom, for that heavily ingrained sense of guilt. 

“It’s, uh, Ryan, and you’re right. I haven’t been here before.”

“Figured.” He leaned over and flashed a seriously inebriated smile. “Would’ve remembered ya. ’Specially in those fancy clothes.”

Yeah, I didn’t doubt it. I’d dressed for a club, not a pub, tonight. So where almost everyone in this place was in some version of jeans, a shirt, and a cap—I was not. 

Tonight, I’d gone corporate sexy. My friends always joked that I was probably born in a suit, but hey, I knew what worked for me, and my fitted black pants, tailored button-down, and suspenders were always a hit. Especially when I let the buttons of my shirt open for a quick sneak peek. But as I sat here now, I was seriously reconsidering the coat in my lap. 

“Can I get you another?”

The bartender’s voice was a welcome interruption, and this time when I looked at him, I definitely caught a smirk.

“Maybe a double?” 

So, apparently, I was the entertainment tonight. “Yeah, a double would be great.”

“You can put it on my tab,” my unwanted companion slurred.

“If I thought you’d actually pay it, Mitch, I would.” 

The bartender topped up my tumbler and placed it back on the bar, and before I could beg him to stay or send for help, he was gone. 

Mitch scooted his stool in a little closer to me. “So… You were tellin’ me about these fancy clothes of yours.”

Great. This night just kept getting better and better.

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Chapter 2

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Jameson

I SHOULD’VE STAYED home.

I should’ve popped open a cold one and stayed my ass home. But ten minutes in my empty apartment tonight had felt like ten hours—I was restless and had to get out. So this was where I’d ended up, in my usual booth at Jon’s watching Mitch once again prove to everyone why he was single and likely always would be. 

I’d seen it coming a mile away—from the second GQ stepped into the bar and his friend ditched him, Mitch had zeroed in like a shark circling its prey. It made sense; the newbies were the only people in this place who didn’t know what a train wreck Mitch was. But two seconds in his presence usually cleared that up. Not to mention the fragrant scent he always carried with him. 

It seemed GQ was having a difficult time getting away, though. He was on his third drink, and had shrugged Mitch’s hand off half a dozen times at this stage—not that I was keeping count. Wasn’t my problem. But it was a hell of a lot more entertaining than sitting at home alone.

“How you doin’ over here?”

Jon’s question shifted my attention from the shitshow that was happening at his bar to where he’d stopped by my booth with his shoulder up against the worn wood, his eyes seeing way more than they should. 

I’d been coming here since I was old enough to drink. I’d tried the year earlier, but Jon had tossed me out on my ass. But ever since I hit twenty-one, I’d been a staple at this bar. It was a place where I could both be myself and drink my problems away at the same time—and growing up on this side of town meant I had a whole truckload of problems.

“All good. Not sure that new customer buying your liquor tonight would say the same. Might want to go back and keep an eye on him.” 

Jon shook his head and let out a sigh. “Fuckin’ Mitch.”

“Yeah.”

“Same shit, different night with him. You’d think he’d get sick and tired of the constant rejection.”

I scoffed. “He might if he cared—or remembered it the next morning.” 

“Good point. That’s why I came over. The kid could do with some help.”

The kid? GQ didn’t look like any kid I knew, and there was no way I was going over there. But as I swallowed back my scotch, I saw him nearly fall off his seat in an effort to get away from the hand that had just landed on his shoulder. 

Jesus, was it really so much to ask for one night where I could turn my brain off and not worry about anyone other than myself? The last thing I wanted to do was get in the middle of this. But I also couldn’t sit here and watch it much longer.

“On a scale of one to ten, how bad is it?”

“I mean, I don’t see him coming back next week, if that’s what you’re askin’.” Jon shrugged. “But I’m not sure that’s all on Mitch. Newbie doesn’t seem to be from around here, you know?”

Yeah, I knew. The guy looked more Gold Coast than anywhere remotely close to here, and he stood out like the bright, shiny object he was. 

Fuck. I really should’ve stayed home.

I turned my attention back to the awkward scene, and Jon did the same. 

“You really gonna just sit here and let him deal with Mitch all night?”

“As opposed to?”

Jon frowned. “You going over there.”

“And doing what?”

“Saving him.” Jon crossed his arms. “Isn’t that what you do?”

“If there was a raging fire, yeah.”

“Well, Mitch could be considered a hot mess.”

“No.” I shook my head. “No way. This is not my problem.”

Jon reached for my empty glass. “That’s harsh, even for you.”

“Look, if I go over there, I’ll be stuck talking to the guy all night.”

“And that would be so terrible. Tell me, how do you function out there in the real world? You know, where you have to talk to others.”

“Just fine. I talk to who I want, when I want, and like it that way.”

“You sure about that? I know you’ve been dealt a shit hand and all, but maybe don’t write off the entire world just yet.”

I glared at Jon, his droll comment reminding me that he knew all my secrets—even the painful ones. I indicated the glass. “You come over here to talk about my shining personality or to get me a refill?”

“How ’bout this? You go over there and save the kid, and the rest of your drinks are on me tonight.”

That offer would’ve been much more enticing if I was in the mood to really knock some back. But since I’d driven my bike down here, it wasn’t like he was going to have to shell out all that much.

“His too?” I asked. When Jon frowned, I aimed my eyes over at GQ. “If I go over there, I ain't paying for shit.”

“Asshole.”

“That a yes?”

“Fine, yes. Just go help him out, would you? Last thing I need is him calling the cops down here.”

I wasn’t really in the mood to deal with the cops either. I slid out of the seat and unfolded my six-one frame. “Hey, before I go. Amy been in here lately?”

“Nah, you looking for her again?”

“Just haven’t heard from her in a while.”

“How long’s a while?”

“Couple months.”

“Shit.”

“Yeah, but you know how she is.”

“I do. She was always the wanderer. But I’m sure she’ll turn up.”

Yeah, but where and when was anybody’s guess. “She always does.”

“If I see her, I’ll tell her to call.”

“Thanks, man.”

“You got it.” Jon clapped me on the shoulder and gave me a clipped nod. “You know I’ll always look out for you guys.”

That was the damn truth. Jon had been looking after us since we’d been unruly teens and gotten us out of a shit-ton of trouble. So the least I could do for him was go and save GQ from any more Mitch-handling tonight. 

I made my way down the bar, through the groups of men chatting and drinking it up. There were several regulars tonight, and they acknowledged me with a nod, while others checked out the latest body to move into their line of vision. Now wasn’t the time for that, however, as I kept my eyes locked on GQ. Not that he had any idea who I was—but he was about to. 

I moved past Mitch to where his less-than-excited companion had his head bent down over his phone as though he were hoping he could disappear inside it. I couldn’t see his face to give him a heads-up, but as I slipped in between him and the guy sitting to his right, he looked up, and I was happy to have the bar top handy.

Fuck. The guy was gorgeous. With full lips and a masculine jaw line covered in stubble the same color as the chestnut strands on his head, he had a classic, handsome look about him. A sophisticated sexiness that had nothing to do with the designer outfit he wore, and everything to do with his broad shoulders and Roman-like features.

I’d been too far away earlier to get a good look at him. But as my eyes traveled over him now, I could’ve punched Jon for talking me into this. The last thing I needed was to stare into a face like his. It was a face that could make you stupid. A face that could make you forget all the rules you put in place. But I was here now, and I’d made a promise to Jon, so before I could talk myself out of it, I reached out and hooked a finger under one of those ridiculous—but sexy—suspenders.

“Hey, babe, sorry I got held up.”

GQ’s eyes widened, shock crossing his features, before he looked to where I was sliding my finger up and down the narrow strip of elastic fabric.

“You haven't been waiting long, have you?”

“Uh…” GQ raised his head, and when it was clear his words had left him, I looked at Mitch, who was watching the two of us through bleary eyes.

“You trying to move in on my guy, Mitch?” I glanced to GQ, and when he continued to just stare at me, I winked.

“Nah.” Mitch waved a hand through the air. “You know me, Jameson. Just being friendly. That’s all.”

“Uh huh.” I smirked at GQ, who now looked about two seconds away from asking who the hell I was, then slipped another finger under his suspenders and tugged him my way. Seeming to realize he needed to move with the motion or lose the accessory altogether, GQ leaned into me, and the striking color of his eyes caught me off guard. 

There were swirls of green, brown, and gold staring back at me. The hazel tone was like some rare jewel. Before I started spouting poetry or some shit, I shook my head and asked, “Was that all he was doing? Being friendly?”

GQ licked his lips, and that was when I saw it, the wheels starting to turn behind the eyes again, and I wondered what he was going to do next. 

Was he going to throw Mitch under the bus? Tell me to take a fucking hike? Just because Jon and I thought he needed help, that didn’t actually mean he did. But then a spark lit his eyes, and he reached out to place a hand on my leather jacket and squeezed.

“Mitch was just…keeping me company until you got here.” He threw a quick smile over his shoulder. “Weren’t you, Mitch?”

So, he’s going to play along after all. Smart man.

“Yeah, uh, that’s right.”

GQ turned his attention back to me and smoothed his palm across my shoulder to rest it on my chest. 

“See? No need to worry or grumble at him. Be nice…Jameson.”

He patted my chest for good measure, a cheeky glint in his eyes as he finally caught up with the plan and seemingly approved. 

“Well, as long as that’s all it was.”

“’Twas, I swear. Here.” Mitch slipped off his stool and gestured to me. “Come sit ’ere. Take my spot.”

“Actually, I—”

My words halted as GQ pressed his fingers into the leather beneath his palm and winked at me. 

I was about done with this now. The last thing I needed was for him to get the impression I was interested in more than just saving his ass. He wasn’t my type, and I definitely wasn’t his, considering the clothes he was wearing were worth more than what I paid in rent each month.

I placed my hand over his and stilled it. I needed to get us back on track. I needed to give him and myself an out. “I was actually going to see if you wanted to get out of here.”

“Get out of here?” GQ let his gaze roam down over me, and despite my every intention not to be interested, my traitorous cock took interest. “Um, sure, let me just pay for my drinks.”

“No need. I got it when I came in.”

GQ looked over to Jon, who nodded our way. 

Yep, he’s in on it too. You’re welcome.

“Oh, okay, thanks, babe.” GQ slipped off the stool, and I wasn’t sure why, but I was surprised when we were face to face. He was taller than I’d expected. Then he held his coat out to me. “Would you be a doll and help me with this?”

I narrowed my eyes on the expensive coat then reached out and took it from him. It was clear he was getting a kick out of my little savior routine now and milking it for all it was worth. But the sooner I got him dressed, the sooner I could get him out the door. A good motto for most situations when it came to men I picked up in bars.

I scanned the place, noticed several of the regulars looking my way, and made a mental note to make Jon pay for this the next time I saw him. I held up the coat, and when GQ turned to slip his arms into it, an expensive scent hit my nose. It was fresh and sensual, with citrus and aquatic aromas that made me think of blue waters of the Mediterranean, and it made me want to step in behind him and nuzzle into the crook of his neck.

What the actual fuck? You’re trying to get rid of him, Jameson. Not take him home with you. Let the guy go.

I quickly released the coat and took a step back. He turned and said, “Ready when you are,” and I hauled ass out of that bar, determined to put as much space between me and him as soon as humanly possible.

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Chapter 3

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Ryan

I WASN’T USUALLY a believer in miracles, but as I followed the broad-shouldered sex god heading toward the door of the bar, I thought that maybe I should reconsider that. What else could explain his sudden appearance after I’d just wished for a way out of the situation I was in? 

I didn’t know him. I hadn’t phoned a friend for help. Nope. He’d just appeared out of thin air like some kind of knight in shining armor. A miracle. I mean, only God would have sent someone so finely packaged, right? Because damn, this guy was something to look at.

With his thick jet-black hair and matching goatee beard, he gave off a bad-boy air even without the broody eyes that had checked me out. But once you added those, the unsmiling lips, and the leather jacket, he was enough to make anyone do something stupid—you know, like leave a crowded bar and head outside alone with him. 

Nothing bad would happen, though. He was my miracle. My knight.

“Hey, wait up,” I called out as the door slammed shut and I stepped out into the cool night air. He didn’t seem to hear me, though, because he kept right on walking. I took off after him, until he headed around the corner where that lamp from earlier had flickered and died at some point, and my feet ground to a halt.

I needed to be smart about this. I needed to think for a second. I didn’t know this guy. This neighborhood. Yeah, he’d saved me inside, and the polite thing to do would be to thank him. But did I really want to go venturing into a dark, desolate street to do it? Not particularly.

I glanced over my shoulder, back to the main street, and when that didn’t look any more inviting, I was about to text Jude and tell him to get his ass out here. That was when the deep, throaty rumble of a motorcycle caught my attention, and a headlight came on and lit up the street.

Wow. If I’d thought this guy was sexy when standing beside me at a bar, that was nothing compared to him straddling the sleek chrome bike currently between his legs. It was that—plus the lit street—that had my feet moving again. Before he disappeared out of my life for good, I called out and jogged over to him.

“Hey,” I said over the throb of his motorcycle’s engine. “I didn’t get a chance to thank you.”

As if he’d just noticed I was standing there—or realized there was no way to pretend otherwise—his hands stilled where he held his helmet.

“No need. It’s all good.”

When he looked about to leave it at that and put his helmet on, I got a few steps closer to him, in an effort to keep him there a little longer. “No, really, please wait.”

He cocked his head to the side, and with the headlight reflecting off the bricks of the building, his face took on an even edgier look than it had under the dim lights of the bar. His cheekbones were prominent and added wicked angles to an already striking face. When he let out a sigh and cut the engine to get off his bike, I realized I’d been staring a little longer than was probably polite.

“Your name’s Jameson, right? That’s what you said back there?” 

He hooked his helmet over the handle closest to him and gave me a slow once-over. But I got the distinct impression this time around that he didn’t approve of me or my outfit. 

“That’s right.”

“I thought that’s what I heard. It’s just—that’s an unusual name.”

“Is it?”

“Compared to an everyday Ryan? Yeah.” I chuckled and held out my hand. “That’s me, by the way—Ryan.” 

When he merely looked at my hand, I slipped it into my coat pocket. Yep, there is a definite sense of disapproval here.

“Anyway, I just wanted to say thank you for what you did for me.”

“Like I said, it was nothing.”

“Are you kidding? It was everything. I was just about out of ideas on how to politely get rid of Mitch, but you—”

“Why were you being polite?”

His question caught me off guard. “Uh, why wouldn’t I be?”

Jameson looked at the building behind me, then arched a cool brow. “Have you forgotten where you are, GQ?”

GQ? “It’s Ryan, and no, I know where I am.”

“Then you should know that being ‘polite’ isn’t going to get you anywhere in that bar.”

Okay… “So what was I supposed to do? Punch him in the face?”

“Yes.”

Jameson’s blunt answer made my eyes widen. I’d never punched a single person in my life. Never even thought about it. 

“Look,” he said as he walked toward me. “It’s clear you’re not from around here.”

“Really? What gave me away? It was the suspenders, wasn’t it?”

For the first time since we’d stepped outside, a smirk crooked Jameson’s lips, and I felt somewhat triumphant. I had a feeling he didn’t do that a lot.

“It’s everything,” he said. “Everything about you gives you away. The way you look, the way you dress and talk. Hell, even the way you smell.”

My mouth fell open, and I immediately turned my head, trying to get a whiff of myself. Had Mitch’s odor seeped into my clothes, making Jameson think it was me? 

“You don’t smell bad.” Oh, thank God. “You smell rich, which is worse. That’s also how you look, especially to everyone in that place. So the next time you decide to come sniffing around this part of town and the local drunk starts flirting with you so he can pick your pocket? Do yourself a favor and punch him in the face.”

Pick my— Oh shit. I quickly felt around for my wallet and sighed when I found it was still in my pocket. 

“You’re right. I should’ve realized something was up and put a stop to it more forcefully. I was just—”

“Out of your element?”

“I…I guess so, but then you came along and everything worked out fine. So I guess I was lucky too.”

Jameson’s brow furrowed. “Right.”

“You don’t think so?”

He shook his head. “Doesn’t matter what I think. Night, GQ.”

As he turned to leave, a sudden sense of urgency took over me. That was it? Really? Here I was standing in front of the sexiest guy I’d talked to in days—hell, maybe ever—and he was about to leave with no way for me to contact him again? 

“Wait, you can’t just leave. You have to let me repay you. I won’t feel right otherwise.”

Jameson pivoted to face me. “I told you, it’s not necessary.” 

“I know it’s not necessary, but I’d like to anyway.” I racked my brain, trying to come up with some way to see him again. “Maybe I could, I don’t know, take you to dinner?”

“I don’t think so.”

Again, he went to turn away, and before I could think better of it, I reached out and took hold of his arm. “Why not? You have to eat, don’t you?”

Jameson looked down at my hand, and while I knew I should let go, I couldn’t seem to bring myself to—not yet.

“Yeah, I’ve gotta eat.”

“Then why not do it with me?”

Jameson licked his lower lip, and my pulse skipped a beat as he began to slowly walk toward me. There was something almost predatory in his stride and focus, making me automatically retreat. When I ran into the brick wall behind me, my breath got caught in the back of my throat. 

This was insane. What the hell did I think I was doing standing out here in the dark alone with this…this…incredibly sexy stranger who I’d all but chased down? I had no idea. But if my brain could somehow relay to my cock that it shouldn’t be this excited by the air of danger I’d potentially put myself in, that would probably be for the best. 

Jameson planted a hand on the wall by my head, then slowly trailed his fingers down the lapel of my coat. I held my breath in anticipation as he gently pushed my coat aside. Then he hooked his fingers under my suspenders like he had inside, and I let my breath out in a shaky rush. 

How was it that the same move from earlier felt so much more personal out here? So much more dangerous in the darkness of night? 

Jameson lowered his gaze to his fingers, then said in a voice that made my knees weak, “You need to go home. You’re too soft around the edges for someone like me.”

I blinked as I stared into his sinfully attractive face, wondering what exactly he meant by that—because news flash, there was nothing soft about me right now. Especially with how close he was standing.

“You didn’t seem to think so back in the bar.”

“Yeah, I did. But you needed help.”

And that was the exact reason I’d thrown all caution to the wind and followed him out here. If there was one thing I couldn’t resist, it was a man with a protective side. “So let me thank you. You saved me back there. Like my very own knight in shining armor.”

I’d meant it as a compliment, but the second it left my lips, Jameson let me go abruptly and took a step back. 

“Don’t call me that.”

“But—”

“I’m nobody’s knight, and you need to get the hell out of here.”

Before I could even begin to comprehend what had just happened, Jameson turned on his heel and marched back to his motorcycle. He climbed on and then gunned the engine, and as he tore off down the street and the light of his headlight faded from view, Jameson disappeared from my life just as quickly as he’d entered it.

OceanofPDF.com

Chapter 4

OceanofPDF.com

Ryan

“ARE YOU SURE you’re not pissed about leaving early with me?” I looked at Jude whose fingers were busily moving across his phone, his face illuminated by the screen.

“Are you serious?” He glanced my way. “I’m more pissed that you let some drunk bother you for so long. You should’ve come and gotten me sooner.”

“You were trying to relax, remember? I wasn’t going to ruin that.”

“Oh, come on, you know better than that.”

I did, but unless it was an emergency, I would not cut his night short—and this hadn’t been an emergency, per se. 

“Okay, how about this? The next time some drunk sleazes all over me, I’ll come and get you.”

Jude pursed his lips, thinking that over. “Well, let’s not go crazy. If you come get me every time some drunk hits on you, I’ll never get laid again.”

I chuckled as the Uber headed downtown toward my apartment. “Okay, you’re right, I’ll come get you if a drunk hits on me in an attempt to steal my wallet.”

“There, much better.”

“Good. I’m glad we could clear up the finer details.”

Jude looked back at his phone and hit send on whatever he’d been texting, then pocketed the cell. “So, you never did say, how did you finally get away from Mr. Sleazeball?” 

Yeah, I’d kind of avoided that when I texted him that I wanted to leave because I still hadn’t quite figured out the whole Jameson angle yet. One minute he’d been pretending to be my fake boyfriend—very convincingly, I might add—and the next he was doing his best to get rid of me. 

I’d never had someone try so hard not to be interested in me before, and for that reason alone, I couldn’t seem to shake him from my mind.

“Um, it was some guy, actually.”

“Some guy?” Jude grabbed my arm and squeezed. “Are you holding out on me, Ryan Carrigan? What guy? Was he cute? Does he have a name?”

A flash of broody eyes and an unsmiling mouth came to mind, and I frowned. “I wouldn’t exactly call him…cute.”

“Okaaay, then what would you call him—exactly?”

I thought about the dark clothes, the leather, the wicked-hot ride Jameson had straddled in the side alley, and licked my lips. 

“Smokin’ hot.” I grinned, and Jude’s mouth fell wide. “He was smokin’ fuckin’ hot.”

Jude gave me a hard shove in the arm. “Get out of here.”

“It’s true.” I chuckled. “I have no idea where he came from. But one minute I was running through the list of ways to get rid of Mr. Sleazeball, and the next Jameson was playing with my suspenders.”

“The guy’s name was Jameson? Even that’s hot.”

“Right?”

“Definitely. And he was playing with your suspenders? How? Like pulling them out and letting them snap back?” 

Jude went to demonstrate, and I slapped his hand away. “No. He was sliding his fingers up and down them. Kind of, I don’t know, flirting with them.”

“And you, by the sounds of it.” 

I screwed my nose up. “See, I don’t think so.”

The Uber pulled to a stop in front of my building, and we climbed out. 

“What do you mean? You said he was playing with your clothes. Flirting with them.”

“Right, but only to help me. As soon as Mitch—”

“Who’s Mitch?”

“Mr. Sleazeball.”

“Oh, right.”

“As soon as he left, Jameson basically ran out of the place like it was on fire. I didn’t even get a chance to thank him.” 

I pulled open the door to my lobby and headed to the elevator, where I hit the button for the tenth floor.

“Did you at least get his number?” Jude asked.

“No.”

“His last name?”

“Didn’t get that either.”

“Have I taught you nothing?” Jude shook his head like a disappointed teacher. 

“I’m older than you, have you forgotten that? So no, you haven’t taught me anything.”

Jude rolled his eyes. “You’re older by, like, a year, and don’t change the subject. How could you let him leave without getting his name or his number?”

“I got his name.”

“Not his full name?” 

“And I didn’t let him leave.” I fished my keys out of my coat pocket and unlocked my door. “I chased after him.”

“We-e-ell, why didn’t you say so?” 

As the door shut behind us, we shrugged our coats off and headed into the kitchen. 

“Because it doesn’t change all that much.”

“Why not? Was he already gone?”

“No. He…” I thought about our encounter in the side street and the conflicting messages I’d gotten from him. “I don’t think he really likes me.”

“What?” Jude laughed and took a seat on one of the barstools surrounding my kitchen island. “Everyone likes you.”

“I don’t know. He seemed almost annoyed by the whole thing? Told me I was out of my element being there.” I went to the freezer and grabbed a bottle of Smirnoff, then held it up. “Shots?”

“Count me in.”

I slid the bottle over to Jude, grabbed a couple of shot glasses, then took the seat beside him. “I mean, we did stand out like sore thumbs there.”

“Is that what he said?”

“Kind of.” I took the shot and brought it to my lips. “He told me I looked and smelled rich.” 

I tipped my head back and swallowed the icy liquid down, where it lit a fire in the pit of my belly.

“Um, that doesn’t sound like a bad thing to me.” Jude refilled both our glasses. “That sounds like he was enjoying the view and smell.”

“If he was, he had the best poker face I’ve ever seen. I don’t think he smiled at me once. He acted as though he couldn’t wait to get rid of me.”

“And yet you can’t stop talking about him.” Jude winked and downed his second shot. “What is it about the ones who play hard to get?”

I wish I knew. I let out a sigh, then tossed back my second shot. There was no reason I should still be thinking about Jameson. He’d given absolutely no indication he was interested in seeing me again, and yet here I was, wondering how I could get in contact with him.

“You’re thinking about him right now, aren’t you?”

“He was just so…so…” I sighed again.

“The guy who didn’t smile at you?”

“The guy who saved me. He was dreamy. The guy who didn’t smile at me, he was”—I thought of the way Jameson had backed me up against the brick wall—“still dreamy—in a badass kind of way. Did I mention he rides a motorcycle?”

“No, you didn't.” Jude grinned and pointed at me. “You dirty little slut.”

“What?” With the alcohol making me feel nice and relaxed, I started to laugh. “Hardly. It’s not like I did anything.”

“But you wanted tooo,” Jude sang. “Hey, I’m all for it. You need to relax. Maybe this Jameson guy can help you out.”

“Yeah, because he was so interested in what I had to offer.” I grabbed the vodka and poured myself another shot. “He said I was too soft around the edges for him. Me. I work for one of the best journalists in the world. The top in this country for sure. He goes into dangerous situations all the time, and I—”

“Stay in the office and make sure his schedule is organized?”

I glared at my laughing friend. “Fuck you,” I said with no real malice. “My job is not as easy as you think.”

“I’m sure,” he said, trying to bite back a laugh. “I’m sure it’s very dangerous navigating the moody temperaments of everyone in the ENN building.”

“It is, actually. But all I meant was, I can adapt to situations. I could be edgier…grittier…”

Jude looked me up and down, then shook his head. “Yeah, no you can’t. Jameson was right—you look rich.”

“Uh, hardly. I’m a personal assistant.”

“For the top journalist in the country.”

“So? I don’t earn what he does.” 

“I know, but you save all your extra pennies to make sure you look like you do.”

“So I like to look nice. Is that a crime?”

“No, but you look rich, especially at that pub. You said it yourself: we stood out like sore thumbs.” 

I glanced down at myself and then blew out a breath. “You’re right. You’re right. But he could’ve at least let me buy him a drink or dinner to say thank you.”

“Maybe he didn’t want your money?”

I rolled my eyes. “Well, he didn’t want my body either. Trust me, I all but threw it at him.” 

“Hmm.” Jude tapped a finger to his lips. “I have an idea. What if we go back next week? Obviously he hangs out there. Maybe you’ll see him again.”

“Uh…” My head was spinning a little now, and I wasn’t sure it was the best idea to make plans. “Maybe we should wait until the morning.”

“Okay, but think about it.”

That wasn’t going to be a hardship. In fact, I had a feeling I wasn’t only going to be thinking about Jameson for the rest of the night. I was going to be having very vivid dreams about him, too.

OceanofPDF.com

Chapter 5

OceanofPDF.com

Jameson

THE OLD WAREHOUSE elevator groaned to a stop as it reached my floor, and I stepped out into the drafty hall. It was still pretty early for a Friday night, but after the Mitch disaster, I’d decided to just leave it at that. 

It wasn’t like anyone had caught my eye as a possible distraction from my empty bed—at least not anyone who was an option—so it was best to just cut my losses and sleep away the hours between now and tomorrow morning, when I was due down at the fire station for my next shift.

When I reached my front door, a familiar red flyer greeted me, and in bold letters on the diagonal it read: EVICTION NOTICE. 

“Motherfucker.” I ripped it down with more force than was necessary and crumpled it into a ball, then I unlocked the door and headed inside. I switched on the floor lamp that stood in the corner of the main living area and tossed the piece of paper in the wastebasket with the others that had come the past five days.

This was exactly what I’d been wanting to avoid tonight. The cold, hard reality that was now my life. My building had just been bought by some rich-ass investor wanting to bulldoze the place and build fancy new condos. It was all part of the gentrification taking place in parts of Chicago. That was all good and well for the investor, but it meant I needed to be gone by the weekend or I’d be tossed out on my ass.

It was just one more headache to add to a life that had turned into nothing but stress lately, and that didn’t seem to be ending anytime soon.

I scanned the sparse contents of the open floor and remembered a time when I’d been excited to move in here. It’d been a hell of a deal with two people on the lease, but that was a long time ago. There was only me now, and as I stared at the closed door of the bedroom next to mine, the usual wave of nausea rolled through me.

Not wanting to think about that tonight—or any night—I dropped my keys on the scuffed-up coffee table and headed into the kitchen. I yanked open the fridge and noted it was even emptier than the place itself. An old container of lo mein sat on the top shelf next to two bottles of beer and a half-gallon of milk, and below that was a carton of eggs. It wasn’t all that unusual for my fridge to run bare during shifts, but it’d been a good week or so since I’d even bothered with the staples.

I snatched up a bottle of beer, twisted off the top, and flicked it into the sink. Then I made my way over to a side window and took a seat on the bench I’d built by it. The view was nothing to write home about, but at least it gave a glimpse of something outside of this room, which had become suffocating lately, despite the space.

I rested my back against the window frame, propped my boots up on the ledge in front of me, and stared out at the elevated tracks of the L. It was one of the reasons we’d taken the place, the power of the train as it rushed by, called to the adrenaline that roiled around inside people like us. But now it was just a reminder of something I’d rather forget. 

I took a swig of my beer and shut my eyes, determined to think of anything other than the fucked-up situation I now found myself in. Not surprisingly, the first image that came to mind was a tall, distinguished figure in a pair of black pants and suspenders. GQ—or Ryan, as he’d corrected me—was about as far removed from this place as one could get. 

I could just imagine the kind of apartment he lived in. Hardwood floors, marble countertops, flashy fixtures with views overlooking the city—no, wait, Lake Michigan—as he sipped an expensive wine from a hundred-dollar glass.

Yeah, that seemed fitting. Ryan must’ve been a really good friend to come all the way down here on a Friday night. It’d been more than obvious that he didn’t belong with my crowd, but that sure as hell hadn’t stopped him from chasing me down in a dark alley.

It had been a ballsy move, considering what I saved him from inside Jon’s bar. He didn’t know me from dick. But to follow me into an empty side street and practically beg me to let him “thank me” for my services? He was lucky I hadn’t decided to take payment out on his very tempting body.

I shifted and stretched my legs out, readjusting my jeans as they got a little tighter from the fantasy I’d just planted in my head. But that was all it would ever be, a fantasy. A seriously fucking hot one, tied up in a nice pair of suspenders.

I had enough problems without adding some rich golden boy to the list. He was one mistake I couldn’t afford right now, and like I’d told Jon, I talked to who I wanted when I wanted. That also applied to my hookups, and there was no way he was going to be one of them.

Quick, easy, and over with—no questions asked. That was what I wanted. I didn’t want dreamy ideals and hearts in eyes when they looked at me. And the very last thing I wanted was to ever be thought of as someone’s fucking savior. 

So while I could only imagine how incredible the body was under Ryan’s expensive suit, I wasn’t stupid enough to actually find out. It was time to find a replacement for GQ.

I pulled out my phone and opened the app I usually used when searching for a distraction. Needing one now more than ever, I began to swipe through the men in the area that matched a certain look.

Too short.

Too grungy.

Too close.

Too— Wait a second. 

My eyes caught and held on a profile image of a man in a suit. Well, in a suit was a slight exaggeration. The photo captured a delicious, full set of lips surrounded by a very corporate shadow lining his sculpted jaw, and he’d placed his hand there as though in deep concentration—or maybe just to draw your eye to a mouth that would make any man’s dick throb, including mine. 

He had on the usual shirt, tie, and jacket, but instead of being all neatly buttoned up for work, the shirt was left undone and the tie hung loosely around his neck. His smooth skin teased the eye from chest to navel, and the shadows captured by the angle of the photo made me wish I’d been there to strip him naked and feast on what was beneath.

The photo was sexy as fuck, and the fingers that flirted with the parted zipper of his dress pants were nice and long. I could imagine them wrapped around my cock, much like I wanted to wrap my hand around his, and though I couldn’t see that particular part of his anatomy, the pose he’d struck for this image left a sexy glimpse of the tight black briefs I’d have to get through to find my prize.

Now this was what I’d been looking for. A distraction. 

I clicked on the link, hoping to find more photos, a contact of some sort, and then popped open the button of my jeans, ready to really enjoy what I was looking at. That was when I noticed several more photos on the guy’s profile.

He was definitely hitting all the right buttons for me tonight with this sophisticated business look. The next one had him lounging in an unmade bed, and he was wearing a dress shirt half buttoned, the sheets barely covering his hips. To say I wanted in that bed—and him—after looking at this was an understatement. But then I clicked on the next photo and my brain close to exploded.

There, staring back at me, was a pair of suspenders I would recognize anywhere.

“What the hell?” I said as I quickly exited out of the images and back to the profile. “There’s no fucking way…” 

But there it was, clear as day, under the name: Ry. 

A.k.a. Ryan, a.k.a. GQ.

Unbelievable. This was unbelievable. What were the odds that I’d click on the fuck file of the guy I’d rescued tonight? No, not rescued—helped out of a difficult situation?

Jesus, if I hadn’t been so hellbent on getting him out of my head, this might be funny. But I had been, and for good reason. Guys like him didn’t hook up with guys like me. He was from a completely different world, and I’d been right to send him back to it. Guys like him ventured into this side of town looking for some kind of thrill. But I wasn’t going to be his one-night slum story, the bad-boy fuck he told all his goodie-two-shoe buddies about. 

No way. The best thing I did tonight was leave before my dick took control of my brain. Because no matter how tempted I’d been to take him up on his offer to thank me, nothing good would’ve come from that. Just like nothing good would come from me sitting here in my apartment getting off to some fantasy. I’d be better off spending my time searching for a new place to fucking live. 

Yeah, that did it. Any desire I had to go fuck myself to sleep was now gone, and in its place was the reality that in a little over a week, I’d be homeless. Something I doubted GQ had ever had to deal with.

I shut off my phone, headed to the fridge, and grabbed the second beer out. Then I switched off the lamp and made my way into my bedroom. I placed the bottles on my nightstand and shoved my jeans free, before I peeled off my shirt and climbed into bed. 

I sat with my back to the wall and stared into the darkness, then reached for the half-finished bottle beside me and drained it. How in the hell had I ended up here? Alone, in an apartment I was about to lose, drinking myself to sleep? 

I’d promised myself I wouldn’t do this. I’d promised him.

But as I stared at the wall separating our two rooms, I realized this wasn’t the first time I’d lied to him. It wasn’t the first time I’d failed him, either. I’d made empty promises that day, too—and I wasn’t the only one. He’d said he’d get out, that he would be fine, but the silent room on the other side of that wall showed me that our promises didn’t mean shit.

So did it really matter if I broke mine one more time?

OceanofPDF.com

Chapter 6

OceanofPDF.com

Ryan

“RYAN? RYAN? HAVE you seen my blue and grey tie?” 

At the sound of my boss’s voice, I got to my feet and headed to his office, where he was looking inside the garment bag hanging on the coat rack in the corner of the room.

“The striped one? It isn’t with your suit?”

Dressed in his casuals—black slacks and a designer sweater—Alexander looked over at me and gestured to the inside of the bag. “Feel free to look, but I can’t see it, and I’m going to need it in a couple of hours.”

I rushed over to where the bag hung and searched the pockets, the hanger, and the bottom of the bag just in case it had fallen loose. But he was right—it was nowhere to be found.

“They must’ve left it out when I picked it up.” I turned to see Alexander behind his desk reading over something on his computer, and then glanced back at the grey suit hanging in front of me. It was still early enough for me to go back to the dry cleaners and pick up the tie if he was dead set on it, but I had another idea. “Wait right here.” 

He eyed me as if to say, Where else would I go, and I quickly rushed out. I pulled open the top drawer of my desk, spotted the gift box my mom had given me at my birthday lunch last week, and grimaced. It was a lovely tie, really it was, but this was an emergency, and I could get another one. It wasn’t like she would ever know.

I grabbed the box and stepped back into the office. Alexander was rounding his desk and pointing to the door. “Walk with me. I need everyone in the war room.”

With the box in hand, I followed him back out to the newsroom and scooped up my notepad and pen. It was just after lunch, and the lineup had already been set for the night’s program, so I wasn’t sure why we were all being called in. But if Alexander wanted to see us, everyone showed up.

As he pulled open the door to the war room, the chatter around the table came to a halt. Alexander stopped at the head of it, and I stood off to the side and flipped open my notebook, ready to take down information.

“Sorry to call this meeting so last minute, but I’ve run into a slight scheduling issue.”

My ears pricked up. A scheduling issue? Not on my watch. But before I could voice my concern, Alexander glanced over his shoulder and mouthed, It wasn’t your fault.

Oh, thank God.

“As you all know, I have an interview to record in”—he glanced at his watch—“fifteen minutes for tonight’s show. But I just got an email that our camera crew was approved to go down to the local fire station this afternoon for the ride-along shots and stills for the upcoming special we’re doing on Chicago’s first responders.”

Well, shit. There went my opportunity to check out some of our sexy local firefighter heroes. I’d been looking forward to that all week. 

After Friday night’s blatant rejection, I’d decided to leave Jameson firmly in my rearview mirror—or myself in his, as it had been. I’d mulled over the idea of tracking him down again this weekend, but that just seemed a little desperate, so I’d been looking forward to this: replacing his image with a whole slew of sexy men in uniform. It ticked every box on my fantasy checklist. 

But now Alexander couldn’t go? That was just my luck.

“Is anyone free to go and get footage for now, and I’ll organize with their lieutenant a time when I can get back there for the interviews?”

“I would, boss, but I’m still waiting on a couple of callbacks,” Daniel said.

“And I have a meeting with SunCorp in an hour.” 

What was wrong with these people? We were talking hot firemen here. If it wasn’t completely undignified, I would’ve started chanting, Pick me! Pick me! 

Actually… Alexander was about to go into the studio, where Angela would be watching over him like a hawk before edits all afternoon, so technically I was free. I all but jumped in the air in an effort to get Alexander’s attention.

When everyone turned in my direction, I gave the boss my most winning smile. “I can go.”

Alexander’s lips twitched. “I’m sorry, did I give you the afternoon off and forget?”

“Well, no…” A loud laugh rang out from the other end of the room, and I narrowed my eyes on my friend Stephanie. When she bit down on her lip, I refocused my attention back on Alexander. “But you’re going to be in the studio all afternoon, and then edits, so…”

“So, you will be sitting at your desk with nothing to do? Is that what happens when I’m not around?”

“No, it’s just everyone else here is researching and getting your show ready and—”

“Ryan?” Alexander smirked as I reminded myself to breathe. “I’m just messing with you. I think it’s a great idea for you to head down there.”

“You do?” It took everything I had not to twirl around on the spot. Instead, I did my best to act like the professional Alexander assumed he had hired.

“I do. It works out perfectly. This way, no one has to rearrange any meetings.”

“Exactly.”

“And Ryan gets to fulfill one of his biggest fantasies of all time, sliding down a fireman’s pole.”

I cast a glare in Stephanie’s direction, but she just laughed. It was no secret around here that I had a penchant for the heroes of our great city. After Alexander’s whole stalker case and Sean—his now husband—acting as his bodyguard, the idea of having someone there to save and protect me had become even more appealing. 

I mean, I’d had a thing for heroes—whether they be superheroes or local ones—since I was a boy, and that had manifested into a serious crush on all men who went above and beyond for those in need. 

I wasn’t ashamed of that, and everyone here knew it.

“Okay, okay,” Alexander said, and headed for the door. “How about we all get back to work so I can send Ryan on his way?” 

“Yes, get back to work.” I threw a final grin at everyone smiling and shaking their heads at me and then followed Alexander out of the room. Phones rang and the familiar sound of keyboards click-clacked as we headed back to my desk and his office. 

As he went to step inside, Alexander stopped by his door. “Before you go, my tie?”

“Oh, right.” I handed him the gift box I still held. It was black with a cream top and satin black bow, and Alexander frowned.

“Is this a gift?”

“Uh, well, kind of, but it’s okay, really. I can get another one, and—”

“Ryan? Is this yours?”

I could tell by the deep frown now etched between Alexander’s brows that he didn’t want the answer to be yes. “It’s okay, really. I have so many ties, and that one will go perfectly with your suit and hair on TV tonight. It’s navy blue, trust me.”

“I can’t take this. It was a gift.”

“It’s fine, I promise. Plus”—I walked around my desk to grab my messenger bag—“I don’t have time to go and get you a new one.” Alexander arched a brow, and I grinned and waggled my notebook in the air. “I’m on the trail of a hot new story.”

“Calm down there, Jimmy Olsen. You’re going with the camera crew and a list of instructions that you are to follow to the letter.”

“Same thing.”

“Not really, but I trust you will get it done, and that’s all that matters.” Alexander looked at the box again. “Is this from your mom?”

My mouth fell open. “How could you possibly know that?”

“I spoke to her when she visited for your birthday last week.” He handed me back the box. “I’m not wearing this.”

“But you need—”

“What about the one you’re wearing?”

I looked down at the crumpled black paisley tie. It had looked good five hours ago, but there was no way I was letting him wear this on air. 

“No, this thing is a mess.”

“Did you buy it? Or did your mom?”

“Uh, I did.”

“Then hand it over. Someone will work their magic with it.” He held the gift box out to me.

“But—”

“I appreciate the thought, but I’m not taking your mom’s birthday gift, Ryan.”

“Okay.” I popped the box back in my top drawer and then loosened my tie. I pulled it over my head and grimaced at the state it was in. It was my job to make sure Alexander looked his best, and here I was handing him…this? 

I was going to have a firm talk with the dry cleaners—or at least ask them nicely to never do this again.

Alexander took the tie from me then looked at the clock on the wall. “You better hurry. I told them you’d be there by one thirty.”

“Got it. Is there anything else?”

“Yeah.” Alexander twirled the tie around his finger, and as he disappeared into his office, he called out, “Have a good time!”

OceanofPDF.com

Chapter 7

OceanofPDF.com

Jameson

THE PIERCING SOUND of the firehouse alarm blared overhead, and the dispatcher began to rattle off the details of the emergency call coming through the speakers routed into the break room.

“Ambulance #39, engine #17, truck #91, traffic accident, DuSable Bridge, Michigan Avenue.”

“Aw, fuckin’ hell,” Brumm—one of my crew—grumbled as he shoved back from the table and got to his feet. “How do you have an accident on that bridge?”

“Too busy sightseeing from behind the wheel,” Davis shouted, as we all began to move.

I stuffed the final bite of my Snickers bar into my mouth and hauled ass with the rest of station 73’s crew to the app bay. My turnout gear waited by the cab door of truck #91, where I’d been placed since starting up here, and as I geared up, climbed in, and slammed the door behind me, Olsen—my lieutenant—glanced over his shoulder to check we were all accounted for. 

I scanned the cab and gave him a clipped nod, and that was all he needed. He gave Brumm a thumbs-up, and a second later the tires squealed and the sirens were flipped on. As we barreled out of the station, I gripped the bar on the side of the door to make sure I didn’t end up in Lee’s lap.

It’d been a couple of weeks since I’d been offered a permanent position at station 73, and with the time I’d spent as a floater there, I’d been with these guys for a little over a month now. It was a tight-knit group, one that had just lost two of its permanents, and while they clearly missed their previous lieutenant, there was no love lost for the guy whose spot I took. 

I didn’t know the details and didn’t really want to. Firehouses were like family, notorious for gossip and oversharing, which wasn’t all that surprising with the amount of time we spent together. But I’d been there and done that, and left the only family I’d ever known behind. I wasn’t going to be adopted by a new one. 

This crew was good, though, the best I’d seen in all the months I’d floated. So when Chief Parker offered something permanent, it’d seemed like a no-brainer. I needed work, they needed an extra body, so here I was. I clocked in, did my job, then clocked out. 

The truck sped through the bustling streets, maneuvering through the traffic like a well-choreographed dance. Horns honked and the sirens wailed as cars pulled to the side to let the lady in red through. 

Brumm rounded the corner onto Michigan Avenue and floored it, and as we flew by the busy sidewalks, I stared out at the tourists and businesspeople making their way through downtown. There was a distinct chill in the air today, but it wasn’t snowing yet. Give it a few more weeks, though, and we would be up to our asses in the white stuff. 

As we approached the bridge, I spotted the accident in an instant. 

How in the hell…? It seemed the car had somehow jumped the medium, which had a barrier fence running down the middle of it, and then flipped several times. It was right side up now, with the windows smashed in and the roof split open like a tin can, but luckily it appeared to be the only vehicle involved, and the woman inside appeared alive. A fucking miracle. 

A large crowd had gathered round and cops were already on scene redirecting traffic and keeping the onlookers at bay. It was still going to be tricky getting in there and getting the job done, though. DuSable Bridge was one of the biggest tourist attractions in the city, and we’d just become an “event.” 

Brumm got us up and on the bridge with little effort, which spoke volumes about his experience. We all piled out, and one of the cops on scene met up with us.

“Lieutenant Olsen here. What’ve we got?”

“One passenger, female, has a head wound that I could see, but says nothing else hurts. Her seatbelt’s jammed; the door’s wedged shut.”

“Thanks. We’ve got her from here.” As the cop went back to redirecting nosy onlookers, Olsen turned to the rest of us. “Okay, everyone, listen up. Brumm, I want you on the door with Jameson; grab the iron and jaws. Davis and Lee, you come with me. We have one victim and the entire city’s eyes on us. Let’s do this right and get her out safely.”

With that little pep talk done with, we all nodded and moved into action. Brumm and I ran over to the driver’s side, where I crouched down and peered inside to see a woman pinned in her seat. She had several cuts on her face and blood trickling down the side of her temple.

“Hey there. I’m Clarke and this is Brumm. What’s your name?”

“Rhonda.”

“Okay, Rhonda, we’re going to help you get out of here today. Sound good?”

Her eyes watered as she blinked at me. “Yeah.”

“First things first, can you tell me if you’re hurt anywhere other than your head?”

She swallowed. “I…I don’t think so. But I can’t get the belt off.”

“Don’t you worry about that. We’ll take care of it and you.” At the sound of someone behind me, I turned to see Stevie—our EMT—with a C-collar in hand. “Stevie here is going to secure your neck, and then Brumm and I will work on getting you out.”

I stepped aside to let Stevie do her thing, and then Brumm and I moved back in. Brumm lodged one of the irons into the jammed door, and once he’d made an opening, he stepped aside to let me at it with the jaws.

It didn’t take long after that. The door was removed, the belt freed, then Rhonda was moved to a stretcher and transported to the closest hospital. All in all, it was a successful rescue, and if the rest of the day went like that, I wouldn’t complain one little bit.

“WELL, SHE’S NOT gonna forget her first trip to Chicago anytime soon.” Davis pulled his helmet off as the truck rumbled to a stop in the app bay. 

We hadn’t been out long, maybe twenty minutes, during which we’d managed to extract her safely and get her in the ambulance and headed to a hospital. Thank God for the hydraulics, was all I could say. They got us into a crumpled tin car within minutes, and gave our victims the best opportunity of survival. 

“I know, right?” Brumm said as we all climbed out of the truck. “Hope that photo she took of the river came out nice and clear.”

As the guys talked amongst themselves, I shrugged out of my bunker jacket and hooked it over one of the truck’s handles.

“If it didn’t,” Olsen said, clapping Brumm on the shoulder, “I hope she decides to do a walking tour of the bridge for her next attempt.”

“No shit.”

Everyone headed into the firehouse, and I followed behind, keeping to myself. But when I went to head off toward the dorms, Olsen called my name. 

“Yes, lieutenant?” 

“Come on, Clarke, you know it’s Olsen around here.”

I did. He’d told me time and time again, but no matter how hard I tried to keep him at a distance, he kept pushing back against my stubbornness. 

“Are you going to eat with us tonight? I hear it’s Brumm’s turn to cook, and he isn’t the worst of the bunch.”

More often than not I chose to take my meals on my own and catch up on a book or magazine. But every now and then Olsen guilted me into a shared meal with the rest of the crew, like he was now, and I wouldn’t say no. Not when the guy had brought me on board.

“What’s on the menu?”

“Lasagna, I think.”

“Unless a call comes through.”

“Actually, I wanted to talk to you about that,” Olsen said as he walked over to me. “The chief put the house out of service this afternoon. We have a news crew coming in to take some footage for an upcoming special on Chicago’s first responders.”

Seriously? The last thing I wanted was to be on any news channel. I’d be sure to make myself scarce. “Thanks for the heads-up.”

Olsen smirked, and something about his expression made my stomach tighten.

“Oh, I’m not givin’ you a heads-up so you can vanish, Clarke. We need someone to show them around, and since you’re the newbie, you drew the short straw.”

Fuck. I felt the color drain from my face as I racked my brain for a way out of this. “Uh, don’t you think someone else would be a better fit? I’m new here. I hardly know my own way around.”

Olsen scoffed. “That’s not true. You’re one of the quickest, brightest firefighters I’ve ever met. You knew your way around here within a week’s worth of shifts; that’s why the chief hired you. So, what do you say?”

Hell no? “When are they coming?”

“Any minute now, I imagine.” 

I couldn’t help the glare I shot his way, but Olsen didn’t seem to care. He was too busy laughing at my expense. 

“Aw, cheer up, Clarke. You’re not going to the dentist. You’re just going to show a few people around.”

“I’d rather go to the dentist.”

Olsen chuckled and thumped me on the arm. “I’m sure you would, but lucky for us, you already have a set of pearly whites. Granted, I’ve never seen you smile, but I’m pretty sure I just saw them when you scowled at me.”

“I really don’t like you right now.” 

“Yeah, I know. But you’ll get back to lovingly ignoring me soon enough. Thanks again, Clarke. See you later tonight at dinner.”

Shit. This was why I kept to myself. The man had spoken to me for all of five minutes, and now I was stuck not only showing a bunch of nosy news people around but having to sit down for dinner and conversation. 

I let out a breath and ran a hand through my hair, then quickly headed to the restroom to wash up before I met up with this news crew. The last thing I wanted to do was give the station a bad name, so I’d do my best to be…likable. Whatever the hell that meant. 

“Jameson?”

I looked up to see Liz, one of the station's admins, standing at the dorm room doors. “Yeah?”

“There’s a Mr. Carrigan from ENN here for you. I took him to the conference room to wait.”

ENN? That wasn’t a local news station—that was cable. I’d thought this was a local heroes piece. Something that would air for the last three minutes of the show to leave everyone feeling good. But it seemed Olsen had left something out. 

“Yeah, thanks, Liz. I’ll be right there.” 

I gave myself a quick once-over to make sure everything was in order, and then reminded myself they were here to get footage of the station and equipment, not me. Then I quickly made my way down the hall to the conference room. 

There was a large table in the center of the space and a whiteboard on one of the walls, and over by the windows that looked out onto the main road stood a man with his back to me. He was tall, around my height, and wore a black suit that fit him like a second skin—Mr. Carrigan, I presumed. 

All right, time get this over and done with. 

“Sorry to keep you waiting. I just found out about this a few minutes ago.”

As I shut the door behind me, the man turned around, and—

Holy. Fuck. 

There wasn’t much in this world that could shock me, but my jaw hit the floor when my eyes landed on the full lips and classically handsome features that I hadn’t been able to get out of my head since last Friday.

“GQ? What the hell are you doing here?”

OceanofPDF.com

Chapter 8

OceanofPDF.com

Ryan

“JAMESON?” I BLINKED as I stared at the fireman standing just inside the conference room door, trying to make sense of what my brain was telling me. I’d been told to ask for Clarke when I arrived, but this man had just addressed me as GQ, and there was only one person who had ever called me that. 

Did I fall asleep and dream up some elaborate scenario where Alexander sent me here only to find Jameson, who really went by the name Clarke? Like Superman, or better yet, my very own knight in shining armor? 

“GQ? Ryan? Are you following me?”

Okay, maybe not a dream, because there was no way my fantasy man would ever accuse me of stalking him—even if I had contemplated it for a handful of minutes on Friday night. 

So that must mean this was…real?

“Ryan?”

My brain re-engaged. “Your name is Clarke?”

“Last name.”

Oh, that made sense. I’d forgotten I didn’t know that. Jameson Clarke. I liked it. “And you’re a firefighter?” 

Jameson crossed his arms, which pulled the fabric of his uniform across his chest, giving me a glimpse of all the muscles that lay beneath. 

Wowza, I hadn’t gotten to see those on Friday night. I’d felt them under his leather jacket, but that was nothing compared to actually seeing them.

“How did you find me?”

Seriously? He was still stuck on this stalking thing? I could understand that people probably did stalk someone as fine as him, but I was not one of them. 

“I know this might come as a surprise to you, but I wasn’t out actively looking for you. I’m here for my job.” Thank you, Alexander. “This is just a happy coincidence.”

At least, it was for me. Judging by the expression on Jameson’s face, it was more like a nightmare come true for him. 

“I’m here with a camera crew from ENN. We’re doing a piece on Chicago’s first responders.”

Jameson’s eyes narrowed as he took a step toward me, and I was instantly reminded of that moment in the street when he backed me up against the brick wall and played with my suspenders. 

Honestly, how was he so incredibly sexy and yet such a grump?

“You’re a reporter?”

“Uh…” I bit into my bottom lip. 

What was his deal? I’d never had someone so hellbent on disliking me despite an obvious attraction, and I had to admit, the more he tried to resist, the more I wanted to prove him wrong. “No, not exactly.”

“And what does that mean, exactly?”

“It means that I work for a journalist. I’m his personal assistant, and he sent me down here to get some footage for the piece he’s doing. You might’ve heard of him? Alexander Thorne.”

Jameson stopped, a frown forming between his brows. “You work for Alexander Thorne? From ENN?”

“Yes.” I quickly pulled a business card from my pocket and held it out. 

Jameson took it but didn’t take his eyes off my face, as though he were finally putting some puzzle together. Then he glanced at the card and shook his head, muttering something to himself.

“What was that?” I asked.

“I said, where’s your camera crew?”

I had a feeling that wasn’t what he’d said at all, but I gestured toward the door I’d been led through earlier. “They’re out in the van setting up their equipment.”

Jameson slipped my card into his pocket, and as ridiculous as it was, I felt a pang of jealousy that it was now pressed up against his muscular thigh. 

“So what do you need from me?”

Several very unprofessional things came to mind, but Alexander’s words about trust and getting things done were right on their heels. He’d given me this assignment because he had faith in me, and I wouldn’t let him down.

I pulled out my phone and opened up the email he’d sent with his list of instructions, then looked back to Jameson. “If we could start with some shots of the engine?”

“Just the engine? Or do you want the truck, too?” 

“Um…” I looked back to the email to see if Alexander had specified—he hadn’t. “Is there a difference?”

Jameson’s lips twitched, and while I knew he was laughing at me, his crooked smile made him appear much more approachable. “Yeah, there’s a difference. Come with me. I’ll show you.” He headed to the door and pulled it open.

“I didn’t stalk you or follow you here. I just want to make sure that’s clear.”

“Crystal.”

“Good.” I nodded. “But let’s say I had. Would that really have been so bad?”

Jameson arched a brow, and the devil on my shoulder decided to poke me in the ass with his little fork. 

“I mean, surely I don’t smell all that rich now, considering you know what I do for a living. I’m a personal assistant.”

Jameson stepped forward until my back hit the doorframe, then he took a deep breath and shut his eyes. 

“No, you smell good enough to fucking eat, which is even worse.” His eyes snapped open, and the wicked heat swirling in the dark depths made me clutch at the frame behind me. “Follow me. We’ll start with the truck.” 

TURNED OUT, THE key difference between a fire truck and fire engine was that the engine was equipped with the water, pump, and hoses, whereas the truck had the ladder and tools used for rescues and ventilation. 

Who knew? Not me. I thought the two were the same, but apparently not. Honestly, it was a miracle I’d managed to retain that much information while following Jameson around each of the vehicles, when the only words that seemed to be playing on a loop in my head were: You smell good enough to fucking eat.

He was definitely interested in me. Even now, as I made sure Phil got a full shot of the truck, I caught Jameson looking my way.

Jameson pointed to the back roof of the vehicle. “Up there’s the ladder control, and on the sides you’ll see the elevating cylinders that move it up and down. A hose runs under the rungs and out the top of the bucket so we can get water to an elevated level if needed.”

I nodded and looked at the long white ladder running the length of the vehicle, and then some. “How tall is it?”

“Depends on the truck, but most run seventy-five to a hundred feet.”

“Holy shit,” I said. Jameson glanced my way. “I mean, that’s a long way up.”

“It is.”

“Don’t you get scared?”

“No.”

Well, that was certainly succinct. As he started up the side of the truck, I could only hope his issue with talking was with me, because if he was the one Alexander was interviewing for this piece, that was going to be one quick interview.

I gestured for Phil to do his thing, and as he took more stills, I followed behind Jameson.

“Over here you’ll see the pump panel, the hoses, and where we keep the cones.”

“I thought the engine carried the water?”

“It does, but the truck is equipped to hook up to hydrants on scene.”

“Oh, right, of course.” Idiot. I could’ve smacked myself in the back of the head for that one. 

Jameson gave a clipped nod as we continued up to the driver’s side of the truck. He pulled the door open and said, “Wanna go for a ride?”

The question was low and, in my mind, meant just for me. I turned my head and got lost for a moment in the face now only inches from mine. 

“Uh—” If it wasn’t completely unprofessional, I would’ve told Phil and Stuart to get lost for a moment or two.

“That’s one of the things you’re here for, right? A ride-along?”

Sure, that was why I was here. Not to stand around and fantasize about how sexy Jameson would look in his bunker gear—minus his jacket and shirt. 

“That’d be great. I know we were approved for it.” I glanced into the back of the cab and then turned to face Jameson. “Where do you want me?” He eyed me closely as my innocent question—I swear—replayed in my head. “I mean, where do you want me to sit?”

That didn’t sound that much better.

When Jameson just continued to stare at me, I felt my face flush. Then he gestured to the seat across from the driver’s side. “How about you sit up front, since you have a way of getting in trouble.”

I scoffed. “Excuse me?”

“Friday night? You were five minutes away from losing your valuables and your virtue.”

“What? I’m not a virgin.” Is that what he thought? Oh my God. “And I’m not as helpless as I seemed that night, just so you know.”

“Okay.”

“I’m serious,” I fired back, his indifference making me bristle. “And a gentleman wouldn’t have brought that up.”

“Whatever gave you the impression that I’m a gentleman?” 

Well, nothing, I guess.

“Now that you have that off your chest, are you ready?”

Ugh. The man was so infuriating, and I was clearly getting nowhere. I might as well do what I came here for. 

“Phil? Stuart? Jameson’s going to take us for that ride-along now. Do you need to grab anything from the van?”

“Nope, we’re all good here.” Phil lowered his camera to his side. “Where do you want us?” 

I eyed Jameson as if to say, See? It was an innocent enough question. But he just rolled his eyes. 

“I’m going to sit up front—”

“Of course you are.” Stuart chuckled, and I shot him my best death glare. The last thing I needed was Jameson finding out about my penchant for men in uniform.

“And you two can sit in the back. Alexander wants footage of the truck's interior and a GoPro view from one of you.”

“Got it—boss,” Stuart said, tongue and cheek. We all knew I was no one’s boss here, but my boss was someone we all listened to. 

Speaking of, there was one more thing on Alexander’s list I hadn’t asked about yet because I figured it would be a hard no, but I had to at least try. 

I walked to where Jameson was holding open the passenger door. “Would you mind if you’re caught on the camera as part of the footage? Maybe you could explain where the lights and siren—”

“I’d rather not.” 

That was the exact answer I’d expected. But since Alexander hadn’t said it was required, I figured he would just do edits and a voice-over along with the images. 

“Okay, I just thought you might want to represent and educate the public a little bit—”

“I don’t.”

Right, well, that settled that. I climbed up into the passenger seat, and after Jameson shut the door firmly behind me, I watched him through the windshield as he walked around the front of the truck. 

What was it about this guy that I found so intriguing? He was rude, abrupt, and not very likable at all. I thought firefighters were in the business of helping their fellow man, caring for their community. And while Jameson had stepped up to save me—a complete stranger—last Friday, I couldn’t help but think he would rather just disappear into the background.

He was an enigma, and I wanted to know more. Too bad I’d never get the chance, since he clearly couldn’t stand the sight of me.

OceanofPDF.com

Chapter 9

OceanofPDF.com

Jameson

“WELL, YOU LOOK like shit.”

“Hey to you too, Jon,” I said as I climbed onto a barstool and tossed my wallet and keys on the counter. It was my day off, and while I’d usually spend the better part of it recovering from my shift, I didn’t have time today. Not with the prospect of being tossed out of my place looming in the back of my mind. “I’ll have a scotch, neat.”

“Day drinkin’ huh?” Jon grabbed a glass and poured a double before sliding it over to me. “What’s that about?”

I lifted my hips off the stool, pulled out the crumpled piece of paper I’d shoved in my back pocket, and slid it over the counter. 

Jon picked up, and as he flattened it out and the words EVICTION NOTICE came into view, I tossed back my scotch.

“Jesus, Jameson. When’d you find out about this?”

“About a week ago, when they started plastering it on my front door.”

Jon looked back to the piece of paper. “This says you have to be out by the weekend.”

“I can read.”

“Do you have someplace to go?”

No, I didn’t. Not anywhere permanent, anyway. I’d been looking online to see if there was anything to rent in the area, but so far everything was either a shithole or above my spending limit. 

“I can bunk a few days at the station, but I’ll need something soon. That’s why I’m here. Wanted to numb the pain of having to scroll through a hundred nos in the hopes of finding one possible yes.”

“Sounds like dating.”

“Wouldn’t know, don’t do that.”

“Well, if worse comes to worse, I have the couch in the office here.”

Yeah, I knew that couch well. I’d crashed on it enough to know it would leave me with a stiff back and even more regrets than I already had. “Thanks, man. I’m sure something will come up. I’m going to grab one of the booths.”

“No problem.” Jon nodded at my empty glass. “Want another?”

It was tempting to pay for the bottle and spend the day drinking my problems away. But I really needed to find something and fast.

“Nah, I’ll just take a Coke.”

Jon filled a glass and slid it over to me, then held up the crumpled flyer. “Want this?”

“Fucking burn it for all I care.” 

Jon crumpled the paper as I slid off the seat and made my way over to the booth, where I planned to search every fucking rental site available to me. It was quiet in here now, only a handful of locals stopping in for a quick beer, and as I stared out the grimy window to the side street, I was reminded of a well-dressed man who smelled too good to be true.

Seeing GQ—Ryan—down at the station last shift had been unexpected, but not unpleasant. After Friday night, I’d quickly shoved him out of my mind, believing I’d never see him again. But when he turned around in the station’s conference room, all put together in his black suit, I’d just about fallen on my ass. 

I’d known Ryan likely had some fancy, high-paying job—you just had to look at his clothes to work that out. But to find out he worked with one of the most well-known faces in the news world was a little mind-blowing. 

Not that I cared. I’d done what I needed to do, gotten him the shots his illustrious boss had asked for, then sent him on his merry way. But that hadn’t stopped me from thinking about him for the rest of my shift, and now.

Why couldn’t I get him out of my head? It wasn’t like I didn’t have a hundred other things I should be thinking about or that he was even my type. But every time I had a spare minute to myself, my mind automatically wandered back to the golden boy I had no business thinking about. He’d be a complication I couldn’t afford right now—literally.

I dragged my attention away from the street and back to the depressing job of looking for somewhere to live, pulling up the app. I hit search on the usual parameters I’d set, saw a few new listings pop up, and began to go through them one by one.

The first one was beyond cheap, and several lines into the ad, I knew why. The place had one bedroom for two occupants. I’d be sleeping on a sofa bed. Yeah, no fucking way. Jon’s couch was a better scenario than that. Next up was a cheap two-bedroom place. But it was located in a part of town that even I wouldn’t want to close my eyes in. 

Rental properties around here were harder and harder to come by these days. With all these new developers coming in and tearing down the old homes to build these fancy new high rises, rent had gone up and the locals had been driven out. But if I was going to pay that much for rent, I might as well look for a place closer to work, something a little further downtown. 

I let out a sigh and bumped up the maximum price I was willing to pay, along with widening my area of interest. Then I hit search and watched as hundreds of little red dots flashed up on the screen.

Jesus Christ. I’d gone from three options to three hundred, and the sheer amount was overwhelming. It was time to narrow it down to what it was I really wanted in a place, and what I could afford.

First thing was availability. I needed to be able to move in ASAP, because as of midnight on Sunday, the locks on my place would be changed and I’d be homeless. Second, I wanted a bedroom of my own. I didn’t mind sharing a bathroom—though a separate one would be preferable—as long as I had my own space to sleep. Third, I wanted to be left alone. I didn’t want any expectations from whomever I moved in with. I was a loner, and I liked it that way. I’d done the whole best-friend roommate deal before, and this time around, I wanted no part of it. I’d be cordial and polite, and pay my rent on time. But I didn’t want any misguided notion that I was going to be throwing parties and being buddy-buddy with whomever I moved in with. 

My job was stressful, and when I came home, I liked to zone out and relax. If I wanted more than that, I headed to Jon’s or the local nightclub to find a sexy body to work out any extra kinks. But once it was over, it was done, and that was the way I liked it.

I scrolled through the listings, nixing all the new apartment ads, and instead concentrated on the ones with roommates seeking an extra tenant. That was when I spotted it. The perfect price, the perfect location, and an added bonus: Must rent ASAP.

I read over it several times, making sure I wasn’t missing anything. 

Single male, seeking roommate for two-bedroom apartment. Place has one bathroom (decent size), great kitchen and living space. First and last rent due as a deposit. Must rent ASAP. If interested, please call or text to set up a time to see the place.

Not in the mood to talk, I brought up my messages and punched in the number listed, then shot off a text: Hi. Interested in the apartment for rent. Is it still available?

My leg bounced under the table as I pulled up Google and did a map search to make sure I was thinking of the right location. Sure enough, the apartment building was only minutes away from work, which would cut my commute down to nothing. 

I wasn’t one to hope, and I certainly wasn’t one to wish for things, but as I sat there staring at the couple of blocks I’d have to drive to and from work, I was close to fucking praying. 

A second later, my phone dinged and I opened up the message.

Hi. The apartment is still available. I have one person stopping by this evening, but could set a time with you also if you’d like to check it out?

Oh thank fuck. It was still up for grabs. Maybe I could see if he was available now? I could get in first, flash a smile—I was sure I remembered how—and swoop in before the other person had a chance.

That’d be great. I could stop by now if you’re free. 

I stared and stared at the screen, willing the three dots to appear, and when they did, I gripped the phone a little tighter.

“Come on, come on,” I muttered as I drummed out a staccato rhythm on the table with my thumb. Then up popped a new message.

Sorry, I work until six. But you can stop by at seven if you like? The other person will be by at eight.

That still worked. I’d get in first, somehow win this guy over, and secure the place. At this stage, I didn’t even really care about the condition. The fact I’d be home in less than ten minutes had sold me. Now I just had to see who I’d be sharing the space with.

Please don’t be some crazy ass. I can do that. Seven it is.

Great. I’ll see you then.

I stared at the message and saved the number, then I looked over at Jon and called out, “Hey, I think I’ll take that other scotch now.” 

“You got it.”

I settled back in my seat and read over the advertisement again.

Single male, seeking roommate for two-bedroom apartment. Place has one bathroom (decent size), great kitchen, and living space…

Must rent ASAP.

I didn’t want to jinx myself, but for once in my life, I had an okay feeling about this. Now I just had to wait until seven.

OceanofPDF.com

Chapter 10

OceanofPDF.com

Ryan

I’D JUST FINISHED showering and poured myself a glass of wine when there was a knock on the front door.

A quick scan of the place assured me everything was neat and tidy, and as I made my way across the living room, I crossed all my fingers and toes. I needed to get this place rented, and soon. I’d only been half joking about Gabe leaving me with all the bills, and while I’d been able to cover them for the most part, things were starting to get a little tight now.

When I got to the door, I looked down at my jeans and smoothed my hands over them. I had two potential renters interested. Both were coming to see the place tonight, and if I was lucky, I’d have Gabe’s old room rented by nine. 

First things first, though—I needed to open the door. With a final prayer that everything turned out well, I pulled the door open, and when my eyes locked on the man standing on the other side of it, I couldn’t believe what I was seeing.

“Jameson?”

It was a toss-up as to who looked more surprised. Jameson’s eyes had widened and his face paled, and when he finally seemed to remember how to speak, he managed, “GQ?”

This was… It was insane. In the past week or so we’d somehow managed to cross paths not once, not twice, but three times, and not from any doing of our own. Neither of us had known the other was going to be standing on the opposite side of this door. Just like I hadn’t known he worked at the fire station when I showed up. It was like some weird cosmic twist of fate, where we kept getting thrown together, over and over again.

“Are you— You’re here to look at the room for rent?”

Jameson blinked at me. “This… This is—” 

“Crazy?”

He ran a hand through his hair and looked down the hall, back toward the elevator.

“Want to make a run for it? I promise not to chase you.”

Jameson whipped his head back around to me. 

“That’s what you’re thinking, right? That I really am some kind of crazy stalker?”

“No. I was thinking that this is really fucking weird.”

A burst of laughter escaped me before I could stop it. “It is. It’s like everywhere I turn lately, there you are.”

“That’s a bad streak of luck you’re having, then.”

There was that self-deprecating attitude again. “I don’t know. I’m starting to think it might be a good one,” I said as I gestured for him to come inside. “What are the odds that in a city with over two and a half million people, I suddenly start running into the same one over and over?”

Jameson frowned but didn’t say anything as he slipped his hands into his pockets. 

“I can leave the door open if it’ll make you feel more comfortable?”

“No need,” he finally said, and stepped inside. “I’m pretty sure I could take you if I had to.”

And I was pretty sure I’d let him, but I kept that to myself as I moved aside to let him in. As he walked by, I couldn’t help but let my eyes linger on the tight ass encased in that soft denim. Jameson wore a pair of jeans better than anyone I knew.

He cleared his throat, and I raised my eyes to find I’d been caught. My cheeks flamed.

“So, um, the apartment. Let me show you around and tell you a bit about the place.”

“Sounds good.”

“Okay.” I ducked my head and moved away from him so I wouldn’t do something stupid, like grab him and feel up those muscles I’d seen down at the station. “As you can see, this is the living room. There’s a TV with cable and pretty much every streaming service you could want, which is all part of the monthly rent price.”

Jameson nodded and looked at the two loveseats around the coffee table. I couldn’t help but wish I only had the one. That way, if he did move in, he’d have no choice but to sit next to me to watch the TV. 

Huh, maybe I could pretend one broke.

“Your room would be this one here, off to the left.” I walked over to the open door, and as he walked inside, Jameson made his way over to the window. “Gabe fought me for that window. I probably should’ve switched rooms and claimed it myself, but it seemed like too much work.”

Jameson looked out to the park below then turned to face me. “Gabe? Ex-boyfriend?”

“Ex-roommate and best friend.” But wasn’t it interesting where his mind went first?

Jameson walked around the empty room, looking up at the light and ceiling fan before heading to the closets. “Why’d he leave? You a nightmare to live with?”

A nightmare? My mouth fell open. But when Jameson glanced over his shoulder, I caught a slight curl to his lip. 

“I’m a delight to live with, I'll have you know.”

“Really?”

“Yes. I’m clean, I’m quiet, and I cook.”

Jameson slid the closet door shut and turned to me. “Are you selling me on you or the apartment?”

I thought about that for a second. “Both, since I come with the apartment.”

Jameson said nothing, and it took everything I had not to fidget. What was he thinking? Was I wasting my time even showing him the place? Then those dark eyes flicked back up to mine. “This is a good-size room.”

Really? That was it? “Yeah, it’s weird seeing it all empty, but a king-size bed would fit in here with no problem. So if that’s what you’ve got…”

“Good to know.”

Was it? I wasn’t so sure, because now all I could think about was Jameson stretched out in a bed big enough that the two of us could roll around in it. 

“Well, that’s it in here, so let’s go and check out the rest of the place.” 

I walked out of the bedroom and made my way into the kitchen, where I switched on the pendant lights. They gleamed off the marble countertop, and Jameson trailed his fingers over the cool surface.

“Marble countertops?”

“Yes. A gas stove and all new appliances as well. Anything you need should be here.” Jameson’s lips twitched again, and I couldn’t help but ask, “Is something funny?”

“No, GQ. Everything is exactly as I expected it to be.”

That was an odd thing to say, but then again, Jameson was an odd kind of guy. 

“The bathroom is just over here. There’s only one, which isn’t ideal, I know, but it’s a good size.” 

I moved to the shut door and twisted the knob, then pushed it open as Jameson stopped beside me, shut his eyes, and inhaled. 

Damn, he had one of the sexiest faces I’d ever seen. His features were bold and striking, and even now, with his eyes shut, his cheekbones were harsh, prominent reminders that Jameson was all jagged edges. The complete opposite to anyone who was usually in my orbit.

“It smells like you.”

A shiver raced down my spine, his words from the fire station rushing back in: You smell good enough to fucking eat. 

“Oh, I showered just before you got here.” I licked at my suddenly dry lips. That same fire I’d seen flashes of here and there was back in his eyes, sending a rush of heat along my skin, and my cock throbbed.

“Where’s your bed?”

“My bed?”

“Yeah.” Jameson blinked and banked those flames as quickly as they were lit, then he turned back to face the living room. “I’ve seen everything but where you sleep.”

Right, I knew that. I shut the bathroom door and then gestured to the hall between the bathroom and kitchen. “It’s just down there to the left.”

“You’re not going to show me?”

“My bedroom?” My heart began to hammer as Jameson looked past my shoulder. “Sure, it’s this way.” I led him down the hall and stopped by my door. “This is where I sleep.”

Jameson walked inside, and I held my breath. Something about him being so close to where I slept and got naked—and had totally gotten off to him several times this week—made every part of me go on high alert. 

But when he walked back out and said, “This isn’t going to work,” I quickly snapped out of it.

Jameson was the perfect roommate. He was a firefighter, so I knew he was good people—despite his less-than-charming disposition. He was handy in a bind—I knew that firsthand—and if that wasn’t enough, the guy was used to sharing space with people. He bunked down at the station on shift, so that must mean he was able to deal with roommates. 

I wasn’t about to let this opportunity pass me by. Even as Jameson literally passed by me.

“Wait? What do you mean it isn’t going to work?” I followed after him and grabbed his arm, turning him to face me. “Do you prefer my room? Because I need a roommate, and if that’s what will make this work…”

Jameson shook his head and pulled his arm free. “Nothing will make this work.”

What the actual— “I don’t understand. Everything seemed fine until—”

“I saw where you sleep.” 

I blinked, utterly confused. 

“Come on, GQ. We both know that’s where I’ll end up if I move in here.”

Well, damn. I mean, of course I’d thought about it. The second I opened my door and saw him standing there, I’d thought it. But to hear him say it was as shocking as it was hot.

“You don’t know that.”

“Don’t I?” Jameson took a step toward me, but instead of backing up this time, I held my ground. 

“No, you don’t. I need a roommate—”

“You have another person coming to look at the place after me.”

“But I want you,” I said, finally locating my backbone. I wouldn’t let him dictate this situation. He’d been in control the night of the pub and again down at the station. But this was my place, and I wouldn’t let my best opportunity walk out the door. 

Jameson’s eyes traveled down to my lips, which I licked.

“I won’t end up in your bed.”

“Good, because I don’t plan on inviting you,” I said.

He smiled, and I knew he didn’t believe me, but if that was what it took to get him to stay, I’d hold up my end of the bargain.

“Don’t you need references?”

“You’re a fireman. That’s upstanding enough for me.”

“And you said you needed someone ASAP?”

“That’s right. You can move in whenever you like.”

“This weekend?”

Holy shit. That was quick. “Sure. Were you thinking Saturday or Sunday?”

“I could start Saturday afternoon? Finish Sunday?”

“That works.” 

Jameson did a final walk-around of the living room then nodded. “Okay, I’ll take it.”

Thank God his back was to me, because I couldn’t have stopped my smile even for him. I’d managed to contain it by the time he turned back to me, though, and I held out my hand to him.

Unlike that first night, he slipped his hand into mine, and I wrapped my fingers around his. “If you’ll text me your email, I’ll get the contract written up and sent over,” I said.

“Sounds good. Do you want the deposit now?”

“Saturday will be fine.”

“Okay.” He let go of my hand and made his way toward the front door. “I meant what I said—I won’t end up in your bed.”

“Good, I meant it too.”

He gave a final clipped nod and headed off down the hall, and I couldn’t help my smile, because that promise we’d made was ridiculous. It only ruled out my bed—there were plenty of other places in the apartment he’d said nothing about.

Yep, I could work with this just fine.

OceanofPDF.com

Chapter 11

OceanofPDF.com

Jameson

HEY, I’M HERE. Downstairs in the parking garage. 

I hit send on the text to Ryan, pocketed my cell, then opened the tailgate on the rental truck I’d hired for the weekend. After sleeping off last shift, I’d packed up the first haul of things from my place and headed this way. It wasn’t going to take more than two trips with as little as I had, and when Ryan had offered to help me unload my things, I knew we would be able to knock it out for sure.

The first things out of the truck were my nightstands, then I started on the boxes. This one was full of clothes and shoes and not too heavy, and the next had towels and toiletries along with a couple sets of sheets—again, nothing backbreaking there. 

I jumped down and stacked them one on top of the other. As I straightened, the elevator door opened and Ryan stepped out, and every single reason I’d thought this was a bad idea came rushing back in. 

From the minute I’d agreed to this, I’d been second-guessing myself on whether I could keep my distance if I moved in. But somewhere between agreeing to be his roommate and seeing another eviction notice on my door had convinced me this would all work out fine. 

As I stared at him now, however, I realized I was a fucking idiot, because Ryan looked better than anyone should in a pair of grey sweats and a white t-shirt.

“Hey, how you doing?” He stepped down off the curb and walked over.

“Pretty good. Shouldn’t take more than two trips to the old place, then I’ll be done. Thanks again for offering to help.”

“No problem. I was happy to.” Ryan flashed that smile that seemed second nature to him as he gestured to the rest of the boxes in the back of the truck. “These next?”

“Yeah. I was just about to—” 

He grabbed the side of the truck and pulled himself onto the back of the tailgate. The fabric of his sweats stretched tight across his phenomenal ass, and for a moment I lost my train of thought.

“You were about to what?” Ryan asked as he stopped halfway up the bed of the truck. Judging by his smirk, I knew I’d been caught. 

Get back on fucking topic, Jameson.

“I was just about to grab the last couple of boxes.” I jumped up into the truck. 

Ryan crouched to lift the box closest to him. When it barely budged, he looked up at me. “What’s in this thing?”

My lips twitched as he straightened and propped his hands on his hips. “CDs.”

“CDs?” He looked back to the box. “Really?”

“Yeah. Plus some books and a few DVDs.”

“A few? That box weighs a ton. Have you never heard of streaming?”

I chuckled. “Move aside, GQ. I got it.”

“GQ?” Ryan stepped out of the way and cocked his head, eyeing me closely. “What do you mean by that? The magazine?”

“Kind of.” I crouched down and hefted the box up. “But more the men in the magazine.”

“What about them?”

“You remind me of them.” Ryan opened his mouth like he was about to argue, until I gestured to the box. “Think you can grab this if I hand it down to you? Shouldn’t be as hard as a dead lift.”

“Oh, yeah, of course.” Ryan jumped out of the truck and then reached for the box, and I paused. “I’m not going to drop your precious collection, I promise.”

“I was more concerned with it dropping you.”

Ryan scowled. “Give me the damn box.” I bent down a fraction and handed it over. “Where do you want this thing?”

“How about the nightstand? It’ll be easier for me to get a good grip on it when I move it to the elevator.”

“I’m glad you said when you move it.” 

He walked over to the table, and I took a second to just stand there and watch him move. His t-shirt was stretched tight across his surprisingly broad back, and it outlined his trim body in a way that made my dick stir. 

“Because I’m not carrying this thing any further than this table.” He slid the box onto my nightstand. “We really need to have a serious discussion about streaming services.”

I smirked but said nothing as we went back to unloading more boxes. I’d left the bigger items, like my mattress, TV, and a few other things, for the second and final trip. So for now I locked up, and we began loading it all in the elevator and moving it up to our floor.

It didn’t take too long. The worst part was that Ryan’s—our—apartment was at the end of a long hallway, so that meant several trips back and forth. When we finally got the last of the items inside, I let out a breath and relaxed for a minute.

“I’m surprised you didn’t make your friends down at the fire station come move all this stuff.” Ryan walked into the kitchen and poured us glasses of water. “Bet they would’ve done it faster than I could.”

“You’ve been fine,” I said as I shut the door behind me, not wanting to get into the fact that I didn’t have any friends down at the station.

“Fine, huh?” Ryan started to laugh. “Be careful with those compliments, Jameson. You might give me a big head.”

“You know what I mean.”

He frowned, but I said nothing more as I stacked one nightstand on the other and carried them into my new room. After I situated them, I turned to see Ryan leaning against the doorframe.

“So, what you think?”

“About the room?” As soon as the words left my mouth, I could’ve kicked myself in the ass. What else would he mean? Himself?

“Yeah, the room.”

“It’ll work.”

Ryan laughed and held out a glass of water. “You don’t say a whole lot, do you?” 

I shrugged and took a sip. “Don’t have much to say.”

“Ah, so it’s not just me, then? You’re like this with everyone?”

“Yeah, I guess.” I walked over to the window and stared out at the park below. It was a cool afternoon, but that didn’t stop people from getting outside and enjoying it. “This is a nice view.”

“Yeah, it’s a pretty busy park. Lots of families come down here.”

I nodded and watched as a boy, bundled up in a coat bigger than he was, tossed a ball through the air for his golden lab to chase. It was a very different scene to what I saw out of my old window. Under the train tracks all kinds of things happened, but I’d never seen a kid throwing a ball to their dog.

It was a glaring reminder of just how different a zip code could be, and even though I was pretending for a while, I was well aware that I wasn’t from around here.

“Okay, I’m going to bring the rest of the boxes in and then head back to get the final load.”

“I’m not doing anything tonight, so I can help.”

I shook my head. “You don’t have to do that.”

“I know. But you’re going back to get your furniture—that’s the heavy stuff. Plus, how are you going to drive the truck and your motorcycle back here?”

Damn it, he had a point. But the idea of Ryan in my neck of the woods again made me antsy. He was a robbery waiting to happen. 

“I don’t think so.”

I handed him my empty glass, and he stepped aside so I could grab the box full of clothes.

“Why not? Couldn’t you do with the help?”

I dropped the box by the closet. “Don’t you remember what happened the last time you ventured south?”

“That was different.”

“How?”

“I was dressed completely wrong for that pub and stood out. I hardly think sweats and a hoodie are going to scream money.”

I took in the regal features of his face: the soft, full lips, the Roman nose, and those hazel eyes that gleamed with innocence and naiveté.

“Your clothes are just part of it, GQ. I told you that before. It’s also your face and hair and the way you talk.”

“The way I talk?”

“Yeah. All proper and shit.”

He scoffed and shook his head. “That’s why you call me GQ? Because I look ‘proper’?”

“I call you GQ because you're hot as hell and would look good in any clothes you put on your body. But I’m guessing a suit is your preferred choice, and you wear it well.”

Ryan swallowed, but I could see determination flickering in his eyes. “Well, I’m not wearing a suit now, and I’m not doing anything tonight. Let me help. I’ll be with you the whole time. I hardly think anything is going to happen.”

He was right, and I would like to bring my bike back tonight, because that way I was all done. Ryan could drive home in front of me, and I could follow behind. That way I could keep an eye on him.

“Okay.”

A wide smile split his lips. “Really?”

“Yeah. This way I’ll be out of there for good and not have to worry about storing the bike anywhere until I can get back to it.”

“See? It all works out.”

“I guess.”

If he was put off by my less-than-enthusiastic response, I couldn’t tell. He headed down the hall to his room and a few minutes later reappeared in a red hoodie.

He grabbed his keys and held up a spare set. “These are yours.” I reached out to take them, and Ryan beamed at me. “Let’s go get the rest of your things, roomie.”

OceanofPDF.com

Chapter 12

OceanofPDF.com

Ryan

“THIS PLACE IS huge.” 

I didn’t know what I’d expected Jameson’s place to look like, but it was nothing like this. We’d driven across town to where Jude and I had ventured that fateful Friday night and, after several turns, ended up out front of an old building that looked like a warehouse.

On the way up to his apartment, Jameson had explained that the place had been purchased by investors wanting to demolish and rebuild bigger and better. In other words, it was part of the gentrification happening in Chicago right now. It was sad, really, because the wide-open space in this loft was fantastic. 

“Yeah, that’s about the only thing it has going for it.” He shut the door and then crossed the empty floor, and I followed behind. 

There was a floor lamp in the corner with two boxes by it, but that was it—everything else had been cleared out. An open kitchen on the opposite side of the room had empty countertops, but when Jameson opened one of the overhead cabinets, I saw the plates inside. 

“So you lived here alone?”

I looked around, trying to see anything that might give me some insight as to who Jameson was, but there was literally nothing. So I made my way over to a window where there was a bench seat attached.

“Yeah, for a few months.”

I peered outside to see the tracks of the L, and then looked over to Jameson wrapping newspaper around plates. “How do you sleep with the L so close?”

“You get used to it.”

“Is it loud?” 

“In about three minutes, you’ll find out.”

I turned back to the window and looked out into the dark. The handful of streetlights had flicked on now, but the road Jameson’s building backed onto seemed much darker than any near my apartment building.

A distant rumbling began to vibrate through the building, a low roar that got progressively louder until the window started to rattle, and then loud as thunder the train cars sped by. 

I stood there staring at the flashing lights of the train as it barreled by. As it disappeared into the night and the quiet again fell, I spun around to face Jameson.

“Damn. That’s crazy.” I walked back over to him. “It’s like it’s plowing through your house.”

“Yeah. It’s great.” Jameson shoved away from the counter, his curt response sharp as a knife, and went to brush by me. 

“Jameson?” I automatically reached for his arm, and when he froze, I released him, realizing what I’d done. “Is everything okay?”

He didn’t turn. “It’s fine. I’m going to drag the mattress out.”

I was about to tell him I’d finish the plates he’d started, but I didn’t get the chance as he walked off toward one of the shut doors.

I let out a sigh. Was I ever going to make progress with this guy? From the moment I’d met him, it was like I took two steps forward and then three steps back. The problem was that I didn’t know what I was stepping in. He was a complete and utter mystery to me. But at least now I’d have time to try to figure him out.

I began wrapping the plates and bowls, then spotted a small box Jameson had lined with bubble wrap and began to pack the plates inside. Next, I moved onto the few glasses he had. When I checked all the other cabinets, I was shocked to see they were empty. 

Jameson had two plates, two bowls, and two glasses—that was it. I wasn’t sure why, but something about that made me sad. He seemed to live such a solitary existence, but from what I could tell, that was the way he liked it.

Once I’d emptied the cabinets and taped up the box, I looked to the bedroom Jameson had disappeared inside and wondered if I should offer to help. He’d seemed pretty intent on being alone, so for the moment I decided to check the other rooms. 

The first one was the shut door next to his, the bathroom. It was completely empty—not even a shower curtain in sight—so I shut the door and moved on to the only other room in the place. 

An office? I wasn’t sure, but when I pushed it open and saw a fully furnished bedroom, my feet came to a complete standstill. I took in an unmade bed, a dresser with a TV on it, and clothes tossed across the duvet with a pair of boots at the end of it, and tried to make sense of what I was seeing, since Jameson had just told me he lived alone.

I slowly walked into the room, and the farther I got, the uneasier I felt. The air seemed stale in here, the room not lived in despite the scene before me. I reached the edge of the bed and spotted a blue CFD shirt tossed over a chair in the corner, and my mind began to spin.

Jameson had said he was getting the mattress from his room, right? So if he was in there, then whose room was this? I walked around the bed and reached out to pick up the shirt.

“What the hell are you doing in here?”

Shit. I whirled around as though I’d been caught with my hand in the cookie jar. But the furious expression on Jameson’s face made it seem more like I’d been caught stealing from his bank account.

“Sorry, I just… I got done in the kitchen and was checking to see what else needed to be packed.”

“Nothing in here.”

I blinked and looked around at all the furniture and clothes. “But—”

“I said nothing in here.”

“I don’t understand. Whose stuff is this?”

Jameson’s jaw twitched as he stood in the doorway, his feet still outside the room, his entire body tense as a tripwire. “It’s nobody’s.”

I was about to question him further, but he’d already turned on his heel and stormed off to God knows where.

Damn it. Damn it, damn it, damn it.

It was bad enough I kept saying the wrong thing, but now Jameson thought I was nosing around where I shouldn’t be. I rushed out of the room to find him shoving the king-sized mattress across the loft. 

I got on the other end to help. “I’m sorry.”

“I don’t want to talk about it.”

“I really didn’t mean—”

“I said I don’t want to talk about it.”

“Okay.” When Jameson began to push again, I grabbed my end and pulled. “I was just trying to help.”

“And I should’ve known better than to let you. I should’ve just come on my own.”

I was starting to think the same thing, because this was hopeless. Here I was doing everything I could to get to know Jameson, and he could barely stand to be in the same room as me.

Maybe it was best to just stop. Stop trying to get him to talk. Stop trying to make friends. It wasn’t like it was in the rental agreement that we had to be friends. I’d known from the beginning that he wasn’t exactly the talkative type, that this wasn’t going to be a situation like I had with Gabe. So maybe it was time to stop pushing. If he wanted to reach out, he would.

We got the rest of the furniture and boxes downstairs and into the truck. Once we were done, Jameson gestured to the garage behind him. “I’ve just got to get my bike.”

“Okay, I’ll wait in the truck for you.”

“No. I’d rather you stick with me. The streetlights aren’t good here, and there’s stuff in that truck that might have people sniffing around. Once I get my bike, you can get going and I’ll follow.”

Just when I’d decided to write him off as an ass, there he went again with the protective deal that I couldn’t resist. Why couldn’t that be the dominant part of his personality?

Jameson punched in a code and moved to the garage door, and I couldn’t help but watch the way his muscles bunched as he rolled it up. Then he flicked on a light, and I noticed a workstation with tools all over the place. His motorcycle was parked right beside it.

“Are these tools yours too?”

He glanced over his shoulder and shook his head. “Nah, the guy who owns the lower floor worked on his car here. He used to let me store and fix the bike whenever I needed to.”

“You know how to fix motorcycles?”

Jameson rolled his bike forward. “Know how to build them, too. Built this one myself.”

My eyes dropped to the sleek chrome and black leather. “Really? You built this?”

“Don’t look so surprised.”

“I… No, that’s not it. It’s just, I barely know how to check the oil in my car.”

Jameson’s lips crooked to one side. “That doesn’t surprise me one bit, GQ.”

Before I could decide if that was an insult, Jameson began to push the bike out into the street. Once he’d locked up the garage and I’d climbed into the truck, he came over to the driver’s-side window.

“You know how to get home?”

I held up my phone. “I have GPS.”

“Okay. I want you to drive ahead. I’m going to follow in case the truck breaks down or—”

“I’ll be fine.”

“And I’ll be right behind you if you’re not.” 

I stared into Jameson’s serious eyes and was again struck by how sexy he was even with his edgy, don’t-get-too-close-to-me vibe. I wanted to lean out the window and kiss that stern expression off his lips.

Maybe he didn’t hate me after all.

“I’ll see you at home?” I said as I turned the key.

“I’ll see you there.”

OceanofPDF.com

Chapter 13

OceanofPDF.com

Ryan

“AW, WORKING HARD, I see.”

I glanced up from my computer and spotted my best friend Gabe weaving his way through the bustling desks.

Shit, lunch. 

It’d been such a busy week getting Jameson all moved in and trying to learn his moods and schedules that I’d completely forgotten we’d set that up.

“Well, I have a pretty demanding boss, and his boss—”

“Is well taken care of these days, so he shouldn’t be breathing down your neck.”

I chuckled. “Yeah, right. I hate to break it to you, but even with your wit and charm, Marcus is still scary as hell.”

“You know, I’m trying to imagine that, and I just can’t.”

“That’s because you sleep with the man every night.”

“And shower with him every morning. So feel free to thank me for his good mood.” 

“I’d rather not think about Marcus’s sex life, if you don’t mind. So can we just move on?”

“Fair enough.” Gabe chuckled, his dimples winking at me as he looked at my mess of a desk. “You don’t look like someone ready to go to lunch. Did you forget it was Thursday?”

“No, no… Well, maybe. I got a bit caught up here.”

“I can see that. Can you step out for a few, or are you too busy?”

“Are you kidding? I haven’t seen you in forever.” I looked toward Alexander’s closed office door, then back to Gabe. “Give me one second to make sure he’s all set.”

Gabe nodded, and I went to check in with Alexander. Once I got the all-clear, I saved the files I’d been working on and powered down the computer. Then I grabbed my bag and headed out of the newsroom with Gabe.

I pulled my coat in tight around me as we walked along the bustling street. The wind was brutal today, whipping up the cold air and reminding us that winter was just around the corner, and for that reason, we headed into the first café we walked by.

“Brr, it’s icy outside.” Gabe undid his coat as the hostess came our way.

“Good afternoon, gentlemen. Table for two?”

I smiled and nodded. “That would be great, thank you.”

“It’s my pleasure.” She grabbed a couple of menus from her station and stepped out in front of us. “If you’ll follow me.”

She led us to an empty table, and we settled in and perused the menu.

“Jude couldn’t make it today?” 

Gabe looked up from the menu and shook his head. “No. He said he had a date with someone he had to skip out on last Friday night. He said I should ask you about it.”

“Did he now?”

“He did. He said something about you two going to a bar to meet a hookup of his, but then you almost got robbed and some hot guy had to save you.” Gabe grinned and waggled his brows. “You’ve been holding out on me.”

“No I haven’t.”

“You have so. Some sexy guy saves you at a bar and I don’t even get a text about it. That’s just rude.”

“Jesus, Jude has a big mouth.”

“Well, yeah, half the men in Chicago could tell you that.”

I chuckled as the waiter stopped by our table, and after we’d put in our order—chicken salad on rye for me, lobster bisque for Gabe—I noticed him staring at me expectantly.

“I’m waiting…”

“There’s really nothing to tell. I went with Jude to this pub so he could meet a guy, and then someone tried to steal my wallet. At least, that’s what Jameson said.”

“Jameson? Is that Mr. Bad Boy who owns the motorcycle?”

I thought about the bike now parked in Gabe’s old parking spot and felt my cheeks heat.

“Oh, it totally is. You’re red as tomato. You have a cruuush.”

“Shut up.”

Gabe started to laugh. “No way. I can’t remember the last time you were all heart eyes about someone.”

“I’m not heart eyes.”

“You know what I mean. You used to date all the time, and lately you’ve been so busy.”

“I know, that’s why I agreed to go out in the first place.”

“Which is good, because you met this Jameson guy. So have you called him again? Seen him?”

“Um…” So much had happened since that first night that I didn’t even know where to start this conversation.

When I didn’t say anything, Gabe slowly smiled. “You went back the next night and hooked up with him, didn’t you?”

“I wish.”

“Oh yeah? That hot, huh?”

“Let’s just say I would’ve been willing to do just about anything to get more of his attention that night—even lie about my name.”

Gabe’s eyes twinkled. “Hey, don’t poke fun at me. That worked, didn't it?”

It sure had, and the cheeky grin on his face let me know he regretted nothing about the way he’d landed Marcus. Even if it had almost cost him his job.

“Well, unlike you, I wasn’t so quick on my feet.”

“No?”

“No. Whenever I get around Jameson, I kind of lose my brain.”

The second the words left my mouth, I realized my mistake. But it was too late, and Gabe took immediate advantage.

“Whenever you get around him? I knew it. You have seen him again. So…is he a bad boy in bed too?”

I could only imagine. But before I could tell him he had it all wrong, the waiter appeared with our food and slid it on the table.

After a quick thanks, I looked back to Gabe. “It’s not like that.”

“Suuure it isn’t.”

“It isn’t.” I took a bite of my chicken and rye and then said, “He’s my new roommate.”

Gabe’s eyes widened to the size of saucers. “What?”

It wasn’t every day I got the best of him, and I had to admit, it felt good.

“He’s your new roommate? You’re kidding.”

“I’m not.”

“How in the hell did you manage that?”

“I don’t know, it just kind of happened.” I swallowed and grinned. “It was kind of weird. I kept running into him.”

“That doesn’t sound weird, especially if there were a few…naked run-ins.”

“But it wasn't anything like that. Alexander has this piece he’s doing on Chicago’s first responders.”

Gabe snorted. “Did he do that as a favor to you?”

“No.”

“Are you sure? Everyone knows you like a man in uniform.”

“A lot of people like men in uniform.”

“Yeah, but you dream about falling in love with and marrying one of those men.”

“Do you want to hear the rest of this or not?”

“I definitely do.” Gabe blew on a spoonful of lobster bisque. “Wait, oh God. Is he a—”

“Fireman?” I grinned like an idiot and nodded. “Yes. Yes, he’s a fireman. And he was at the station Alexander sent me to and was told to show me around.”

I was well aware that my voice had gotten increasingly louder with my excitement, but come on, how unbelievable was that?

“Then, as if that wasn’t weird enough, he responded to my ad that same week for a roommate.”

“Fuck me.”

I chuckled and took another bite of my sandwich. “Pretty sure Marcus would fire me, and, uh, you’re not my type.”

“Marcus would kill you, not fire you.”

I believed him. 

“Seriously, though, isn’t that crazy?” I said.

“Sounds more like fate to me. Some hot guy that saved you the first time you met keeps showing up in your life? If that doesn’t sound like a meant-to-be story, I don’t know what does.”

“Yeah.” I took a sip of water. “Problem is, I don’t think he really likes me.”

“What do you mean? He just moved in with you.”

“I know, it’s just…he doesn’t talk a whole lot, and sometimes he’s a little short.”

“Short? I thought you said you hadn’t seen him naked.”

“Not there. Blunt. As in a little standoffish.”

“Is he mean to you? Because if he is, Marcus and I can—”

“No.” I shook my head. “No. He’s just quiet, I think. I’m used to the way we were, and it’s just going to take a little bit for us to get to know each other.”

Gabe grinned. “And then you can get naked with each other.”

“In a perfect world, maybe. In this one, I’d settle for him opening up a bit more.”

Gabe shrugged and sat back in his seat. “Maybe it just takes him a little longer. Not everyone can walk into a room and make friends with everyone in it like me.”

“That’s true.” But this felt different. I wasn’t sure why, but I got the distinct impression there was a reason for Jameson’s walls. That there was more to his defensive attitude than just being an ass. 

“Just give him some time,” Gabe said. “I’m sure he’ll come around. You’re one of the most likable people I know.”

I was just about to signal for the check when my phone buzzed on the table. I flipped it over and saw a message from the man under discussion.

Jameson: You home Friday night? Thought we could catch up. 

Gabe leaned across the table and peeked at my phone. “Looks like he might be coming around after all.” Then he winked at me. “Or coming Friday night.”

I chuckled and shook my head. Catch up? Huh. I wonder what that meant to him. Talking? Dinner? I had no idea. But it was a step in the right direction, and for now, that would do.

Friendship and trust would come later…maybe.

OceanofPDF.com

Chapter 14

OceanofPDF.com

Jameson

YOU HOME FRIDAY night? Thought we could catch up. 

Catch up? What did that even mean?

I stared at the message I’d just typed out to Ryan and rubbed at my head. I’d had the worst headache all morning, and as I debated whether I should send this, it throbbed even more. Ever since the weekend, when I’d acted like a dick, he’d been giving me a wide berth, and I couldn’t blame him. But since he was usually out the door before I had a chance to see him, I felt like I should probably try to mend the fence I’d stomped on. 

After all, he had gone out of his way to help me move, and it wasn’t his fault he’d stumbled into a hornets’ nest. 

I read over the message one last time and hit send, just as Olsen walked into the locker room.

“Hey, there you are. We’re just about to get lunch together. You coming?”

I thought about bowing out, since a) I didn’t really feel like shooting the shit, and b) my head, but figured if I had lunch with the crew now, I could skip out on dinner, since that was usually the longer of the two.

“Sure. I can do that.” I glanced at my phone to see there was no response and frowned. Maybe I should’ve reached out before now to make sure we were cool. 

Fuck, why am I worrying about this?

“Everything okay?”

“Huh?” I looked at Olsen. “Oh, yeah. Was just waiting on a message, but nothing.” 

“Ah, gotcha. You in the doghouse?”

“The doghouse?” I asked as we headed out of the locker room and down the hall. 

“Yeah. You look like the guys do whenever their old lady has their balls in a twist.”

“I suppose I do. But it wouldn’t be my old lady.” As we pushed open the kitchen doors, I noticed several of the guys sitting around the table and Lee over in the kitchen behind the stove.

“Oh, you’re single?”

“No,” I said, and decided now was as good a time as any to get this revelation out of the way. “I’m gay.”

All talk in the rec room ceased, and my words seemed to echo off the walls. 

“You’re gay?” Brumm said. 

“I am. That a problem?” I sure as shit hoped not, because I wasn’t putting up with any homophobic bullshit. I’d dealt with that and a whole slew of other insults my entire life, and I’d learned from a young age how to stand up for myself.

“A problem?” Olsen screwed his nose up and then let out a booming laugh. “No way. It’s ironic, but definitely not a problem.”

As the rest of the guys joined in nodding, Olsen clapped me on the arm.

“Our old lieutenant, KB—you met him before he left. He just moved down south with his boyfriend. Shocked the hell out of all of us. He’d been straight as an arrow until Bash strutted into his life.”

Lieutenant Kieran Bailey—the guy who’d grilled me on one of my first shifts here—was gay? That was the last thing I’d expected Olsen to say. 

“Yeah,” Davis said with a smirk. “Then one of our crew, Sanderson, showed us his true colors, and we had to give him the boot. That’s why it’s ironic. You took Sanderson’s spot.”

I nodded. “Gotcha.”

“So you don’t need to worry about anything here,” Olsen assured me. “No one’s gonna be a problem.”

That was good to know, because even though it was no one’s business, in a career like ours, that “good old boy” mentality still ran strong, and a lot of the old-timers—and some of the newbies—tended to take issue with anyone they deemed different to themselves.

“Thanks.”

“Of course,” Olsen said as we headed over to the table. “And if anyone says or does anything you find disrespectful, you let me know.”

“Or me,” Brumm said, puffing up his chest. “That shit won’t fly here.”

“Duly noted.” I took a seat and pulled out my phone, checking again to see if Ryan had responded, but the screen was blank. I let out a sigh, and Olsen chuckled.

“Still no answer, huh?”

I shook my head.

“That your boyfriend?” Brumm asked around a mouthful of chips.

“No.”

“Husband?”

“No.”

“Want me to stop asking you questions?”

“Yes.”

The guys all started laughing, and Brumm shrugged. “Fair enough. But anyone who looks as mopey as you over a non-text has a boyfriend.”

I never talked about my personal life, and I’d made it a point to keep myself at a certain distance from these guys. But I was here now, and I couldn’t just ignore him.

“Not a boyfriend. New roommate—Ryan. I think I pissed him off.”

“You needed a place to rent?” Olsen shook his head. “Why didn’t you tell me? I have a spare room.”

“It all happened kind of fast, and—”

“You like your distance and separation, I know.”

Huh, seemed like my lieutenant had been paying attention, because even if he had offered his place, I would’ve turned him down. After my last post, I would never mix work with relationships ever again.

“Well, you’re not missing out,” I said, trying to smooth things over. “Clearly I’m a dream to live with.”

“Like that’s a surprise.” Brumm gave me a toothy grin. “I mean, you aren’t exactly Mr. Happy.”

“Yeah, guess I might’ve come off a bit—”

“Cold? Blunt? Terse?” Brumm popped another chip in his mouth. “Should I go on?”

“Not if you want to be able to eat whatever Lee’s cooking over there.”

Brumm laughed. “Eh, his meatballs are so-so.”

“Hey,” Lee called out. “My balls are delicious.”

Olsen stretched out beside me and pointed to the phone. “So you sent him an apology?”

“More of a ‘can we talk?’”

“’Cause you’re such a talker.”

I shrugged. “How hard can it be? I’ll apologize for being a dick and tell him I’ll try not to be again.”

“Yeah.” Brumm scoffed. “That ought to do it.”

Everyone laughed and then went back to talking amongst themselves, but I could still feel Olsen’s eyes on me.

“Something wrong, lieutenant?”

“Nope.” He shoved back from the table. “We have a good bunch of guys here. The kind who would welcome you in, make you family, if you let them.”

Usually, I’d brush a suggestion like that aside, but I found myself doing something I never did—explaining. “I know, it’s just—”

“You’re careful because of what happened at 23?”

Caught completely off guard, I blinked but said nothing. 

“If you ever want to talk about it—”

“I won’t.”

“But if you ever do, I’ll be here.” Olsen stood and shoved his chair in, then he clapped me on the shoulder and said by my ear, “You can’t avoid relationships forever, with your roommate or your crew.”

He walked off, and I stared after him, wondering how in the hell I’d gone from having no friends or connections last week to suddenly being surrounded by people wanting to know me. 

I picked up my phone again and thought about sending another text to Ryan, but before I could, the station’s alarm went off.

“Ambulance #39, engine #17, truck #91, residential fire.”

Minutes later, we were geared up and climbing into the truck.

As Brumm pulled out onto the street, Olsen gave us the rundown. “Looks like the call was from a delivery guy in the neighborhood. Said he saw smoke coming from the roof, but the place looks pretty deserted. He’s not sure if anyone lives there.”

It didn’t take us long to get to the inner-city address, and I couldn’t help but notice the condition of the houses. Old, run-down—several even had boards on the windows. They reminded me of some of the homes where I grew up. We pulled up at the curb and climbed out, and I saw a dilapidated two-story with smoke billowing out from under the eves. 

A crowd was starting to form on the sidewalk, and after a quick scan of the area, Olsen marched over to the group of nosy onlookers. 

“I’m Lieutenant Olsen with firehouse seventy-three. Does anyone know if this house is occupied?”

Several people shook their heads, and then a man in a brown uniform stepped forward.

“Hey, man, I’m the one who called it in. I’m not sure if anyone lives there or not, but I could’ve sworn I heard someone in there.”

“Thanks, we’ll get inside and take a look. If you can all move to the other side of the street to let my men through, that’d be appreciated.”

They all nodded and did as Olsen requested, then he walked back over to us.

“Right, no one knows if anyone lives here or not, but the guy who called it in heard someone inside. So let’s get going.”

We all masked up and headed up the front stairs to the porch. Olsen shoved the door open, and smoke poured out. 

“All right, looks like a two-apartment setup. Brumm, Lee, take the first floor. Jameson and Isaacs, you're upstairs with me.”

I gave a firm nod and fell in behind Olsen and Isaacs. “Fire department, call out!”

With each step we took, the haze grew thicker, and about halfway up, the door to the upstairs apartment burst open, and someone appeared on the landing gasping for air.

“Miss?” Olsen said as he took the stairs a little faster. “Miss, are you okay? We’re with firehouse seventy-three, and we’re here to help.”

I paused, ready to do whatever my lieutenant needed me to. But just as he reached her, she flung an arm out, shoving him aside. What the fuck? She barreled down the stairs and used her momentum to push Isaacs off balance. As it was clear she was making a run for it, I braced myself, ready for her.

When she plowed into me, I grabbed her upper arms, halting her. She stumbled and fell forward, and when she looked up, her black hair fell back from her face, and I found myself staring at my sister.

“Jameson?”

“Amy?” I tore my helmet and mask off, about to ask what the hell she was doing here, but she wrestled her arm free. She slipped away from me, and before I could blink, she was off and running again.

“Jameson?” Olsen shouted. “Everything okay? You got her?”

No, I didn’t have shit. But I would. “Going after her now.”

I turned and booked it back down the stairs and out the door. I burst outside and sucked in several deep breaths of clean air. My eyes stung from the ash and smoke, and that headache from earlier now felt like a sledgehammer. I scanned the area in front of me, but all I saw was the rest of our crew.

“You okay, Jameson?” Davis called from the truck.

“You see a woman run out of here? Black hair, about five-one?”

Davis shook his head, but one of the bystanders called out, “She went that way,” and pointed to the left.

I took off in that direction, my mind still going over all the reasons why Amy would be here. This wasn’t our side of town. But it sure as fuck was our kind of neighborhood. 

I jumped down from the porch and made my way up the side of the house, but there was no one there, and no one in the back alley either. She was gone. 

Fuck.

“We’re all clear here,” Olsen said over the radio. “Seems it’s abandoned after all. Just squatters and junkies using the place to keep warm. Seems a makeshift fire in one of the bedrooms was the cause.”

I cursed again and kicked at the chain-link fence as Olsen instructed the engine to hose the place down.

“Jameson?” Olsen said over the radio.

“Here, lieutenant.”

“You catch up with our runner?”

Otherwise known as my sister, not that I was about to tell him that. Amy was just another reason I didn’t get close to people.

“No,” I said as I rounded the corner and spotted Olsen. “She’s gone.”

“I’m not surprised. She probably didn’t want to talk to the cops. I just wish she’d stuck around to get checked out.”

Yeah, right. There was no way Amy was going to stick around if she thought the cops would show. “She’ll find help if she needs it.” 

Olsen nodded and clapped me on the shoulder. “Yeah, you’re probably right. She sure shocked the hell out of me, though.”

Me too, but that was Amy’s way. She’d be gone for days, weeks, and this time months without contact, then out of the blue she’d resurface. 

Was it the life I wanted for my sister? No. I’d tried to show her a better way, tried to help her so many times I’d lost count. But there was no getting through to her. So even though it had been a shock to see her here today, I was relieved to see she was okay, and that had to be enough. 

“All right, boys,” Olsen called out. “Let’s get this wrapped up and head back to the station. Lee’s meatballs are calling me.”

I gave a final glance down the side of the house but then told myself to stop. If Amy needed me, she knew how to get in contact.

OceanofPDF.com

Chapter 15

OceanofPDF.com

Ryan

I PRESSED THE button to the floor of my apartment, shut my eyes, and thanked God it was Friday.

This week had been nonstop, and I was ready to relax. Between work and getting used to living with someone who had such an unusual work schedule, my brain was all over the place. Some nights Jameson was home; some nights he wasn’t. Some mornings I ran into him for ten minutes; other times not at all.

It was strange. Gabe and I had had such similar working hours that I hadn’t even thought about what it might be like to live with someone I sometimes didn’t see. But in those moments when I did see Jameson…wow. 

I still wasn’t quite used to it, walking into a room and seeing him there. Jameson had this air about him that made me feel like a shy high school kid wanting the bad boy’s attention. It was that arrogance and confidence that was so intrinsic to his personality, and once you added in his broody looks, I was like a moth to a flame. It was ridiculous, really. 

Also ridiculous was that I still hadn’t mastered that indifference I so badly wanted to perfect when around him. But it wasn’t that easy. I was a happy-go-lucky kind of guy who tried to be as inclusive as possible. So trying to keep my distance from anyone was like torture.

But tonight, that was about to change. Jameson was home, and I knew that because he’d reached out to see if I wanted to “catch up,” and I was curious what that meant to him.

I unlocked the door and pushed it open, and even though I’d prepared myself for seeing him there in my space, the reality of Jameson lounging back on my couch was almost too much for me to take. In black sweatpants and a tight V-neck shirt to match, that wow factor was in my face—along with some seriously delicious muscles.

When Jameson spotted me, he straightened up in his seat.

“No, please, don’t get up,” I said as I walked over to the coat rack and hung my bag. I could feel his eyes tracking my movements as I began to unbutton my coat, and something about his silent scrutiny made my skin heat.

I turned back to see Jameson had taken my advice and again stretched out, his feet resting on the ottoman in front of him.

“It’s good you’re off tonight, being Friday and all,” I said.

“Yeah, agreed. I have a bit of a headache too, so I’m glad for the break.”

“Oh no. I have a medicine cabinet with everything you could possibly need. Can I get you something?”

Jameson smirked. “Of course you do. But I’m good. I took something earlier.” 

“You sure?”

“I’m positive.”

“Okay, well, it’s there if you need it. When do you go back to work?” 

“Sunday. So this is kind of my weekend.”

“I swear, you have the weirdest schedule.”

“It takes a bit to get used to, but you do eventually. You want me to print out a copy and post it on the fridge for you?”

He grinned, and I lost my train of thought for a second.

“What?”

“My schedule.”

“Oh, would you?” 

Jameson’s eyes widened. He’d obviously been kidding, but if he was offering, I wouldn’t say no. I liked spreadsheets and schedules. They made me feel more in control.

“You really want me to hang my schedule on the fridge?”

“Well, only if you want to. That way I know what nights you’re home for dinner. Unless you have a…” I trailed off, not really wanting to think about him on a date with some other guy.

“Yeah, okay. That makes sense. I’ll print it out the next time I’m at work.”

“Or you can email it to me and I can print it out here.”

“Either way.”

I smiled and reached up to loosen my tie. “So, how was your shift? Other than the headache.”

Like a switch had been flipped, the easy mood in the room shifted and Jameson tensed. Then he sat there for a minute as though trying to decide what to say. 

“It was…interesting.”

“Interesting?” That was an odd choice of words, and something about Jameson’s demeanor said it wasn’t interesting in a let me tell you a story kind of way. 

“Yeah, I ran into my sister.”

Sister? Well, would you look at that? Maybe Gabe had been right and I just needed to give Jameson some time to get to know me before he opened up. “You have a sister?”

“Yep. One.”

“She younger than you?”

He nodded. “By two years.”

“I figured. You have that whole protective big-brother vibe about you.”

“Not really.” Jameson sat forward and ran a hand through his hair. “I hadn’t seen her in months. But we got called out to a fire yesterday, some abandoned place, and there she was.”

Holy shit. “She was in the fire? Is she okay?”

Jameson blinked, and for a second I wondered if he’d heard the question, but then he nodded. “Yeah, she was actually running out of it.”

“Oh thank God.” I shook my head, totally blown away by what he’d just told me. “Do you want to call her and invite her over? If you haven’t seen her in a while, I could leave and you could order in.”

“Nah, that’s okay. I wouldn’t know where to call. But thanks, GQ.”

My instinct was to keep pushing, to work out a way for them to meet up somehow, since they’d been estranged. But I got the feeling that his telling someone about her was what he’d really wanted from this—from me—and his thanks was the end of this conversation.

So despite everything telling me to probe deeper, I let it go. If he wanted to come back to it, he would.

“Well, are you hungry? Because I am.” I walked into the kitchen, but nothing in the fridge grabbed my fancy. “Alexander had me work through lunch, and I only managed to snack on vending machine stuff.”

I shut the fridge door and turned around, drawing up short when I found Jameson standing in the kitchen directly behind me.

“Jesus, I didn’t even hear you walk over here.”

A half-smile tugged at the corner of his lips, and just like that, the mood relaxed. 

“I’m stealthy like that.”

Stealthy. Sexy. And so close that if I reached out I could—

“Hey, before I forget again, about last weekend—I wanted to apologize for being such an ass.”

I shook my head. “It’s fine, really. There’s nothing to apologize for. I was the one who overstepped.”

“No, you were just trying to help.”

“Still, I know I can be pushy.”

“You? Never.”

I wondered if he was thinking of that first night, when I pushed for him to let me somehow thank him.

“I am sometimes. But I like to think I’m polite about it.”

“Ah, that’s right. You did mention you liked to be polite.”

“Exactly. So when I’m determined to get something, I’m politely pushy about it. Also, it’s a trait that’s needed in a job like mine. You don’t say no to someone like Alexander Thorne. So therefore, I have to be able to make everyone give me whatever it is I’m asking for.”

“So basically you’re good at manipulating people.”

“I prefer the term persuading.”

Jameson snorted. “Isn’t that the same thing?”

I cocked my head to the side, eyeing him closely. “I thought you were apologizing to me.”

“You said I didn’t have to.”

“Touché.” I picked up my phone and began to scroll through the fast food options. “Do you feel like going out and grabbing a pizza? I know you said you had a headache.”

“Nothing I can’t handle. Pizza sounds good.”

“Great.” I backed out of the kitchen. “I’m just going to go and get changed real quick. Give me a few minutes?”

Jameson lowered his eyes over what was left of my suit, and my pulse began to pound a little harder. 

“Take your time.”

That wasn’t going to happen. If I started to think about whom I was going out with and the way he’d just looked at me, I’d start worrying about what to wear. So less than a minute later I was back in the living room in a pair of jeans and a hunter-green cable-knit sweater.

“Okay, I’m ready.”

Jameson got to his feet, and I noticed he’d switched out his sweatpants for black jeans, a white Henley, and a pair of boots. Damn, the man was fine.

“You going to pizza or a study group, GQ?”

When I merely glared at him, Jameson chuckled and grabbed his leather jacket off the arm of the couch, then we headed downstairs to the parking garage. 

As we made our way over to our spots, I pulled my keys out and hit the key fob, and Jameson walked up to his bike.

“You ever been on one?” he asked.

“What?”

Jameson grinned. “A motorcycle. Ever been on one?”

“Oh.” I shook my head and laughed. “No, never.”

He fastened his helmet then gestured to the seat behind him. “Wanna go for a ride?”

OceanofPDF.com

Chapter 16

OceanofPDF.com

Jameson

“A RIDE?”

FEAR and excitement warred in Ryan’s eyes. He seemed intrigued by the idea but still cautious enough to think it over before jumping on. 

“Do you have a spare helmet?”

“Is that a yes?”

“Umm…”

I smiled before unclipping the second helmet from the back of my bike. I held it out, and Ryan reached for it.

“How long have you been riding?”

“Since I was sixteen.”

“And how long ago was that?”

“Long enough.”

He pursed his lips as he peered past me to the bike again. “I really do want to go for a ride.”

“Then let me take you.”

The fear in Ryan’s eyes had been swallowed up by heated excitement. That wasn’t entirely due to the bike. There was a definite sexual pull between the two of us, and no matter how hard I tried to ignore it, every time I was around Ryan, it seemed to lure me back in.

“Okay,” he finally said, nodding. “I’ve been dying to try this since I saw you on it at the pub.”

“I know.” I’d noticed his interest then, and again when we were moving my things. 

He grinned and bit down into his sexy bottom lip, then put the helmet on. “You won’t let anything happen to me, right? I assume you’re a safe driver, being a firefighter and all?”

I tensed at the assumption but did my best to brush it off. We were finally getting along, and I wasn’t going to fuck it up.

“No matter who you’re riding with, it’s always smart to wear protective gear.”

“Of course, but I wouldn’t just ride with anyone. I trust you.”

It was on the tip of my tongue to say don’t, but I bit it instead.

“Right.” Ryan pointed to his head. “All secure. Now, how do we do this?”

I climbed on the bike and gestured to the spot behind me. “Hop on and I’ll show you.”

Ryan took a deep breath and climbed on, doing his very best to keep his hands to himself. 

“Okay, now what?”

“Scoot your ass down the seat so you can use your legs as extra grip, then wrap your arms around my waist.”

Ryan’s eyes darkened, and my cock jerked in response. This was the closest we’d ever been to one another, and the idea of his arms and legs wrapped around me made my dick really fucking excited.

Ryan shifted forward until his thighs were hugging my ass. When his hands slid around my waist and tightened, I started to question my sanity for suggesting this.

“Is this good?”

It was heaven and hell all at the same time. But instead of saying that, I gunned the engine, and the bike roared to life. Ryan laughed as the throaty exhaust echoed off the concrete walls of the garage. 

“Hang on,” I said, then I drove the bike out to the road and showed Ryan exactly what this baby could do.

“HELL YES,” RYAN shouted as I pulled into a spot in front of a quiet Italian place I came to on occasion. “That was fucking unreal.”

He climbed off the back and unfastened his helmet, all but bouncing on his toes with adrenaline.

“You liked it?” I didn’t really need the verbal confirmation, the dull ache in my head had come back from Ryan yahooing in my ear the entire way here. Not that I could blame him. I knew what a rush it was the first time. The freedom, the liberation—there was nothing like letting it all go and screaming at the top of your lungs as you flew through the streets.

“Liked it?” Ryan chuckled as I secured the helmets. “I think that might be better than sex.”

“You might be doing that with the wrong person, then.”

“I think you might be right.”

I walked past him to the door and pulled it open. “I’m definitely right.”

As the door shut behind us, we found ourselves standing in the narrow entrance of the hole-in-the-wall place. It was a family-owned restaurant, and they had some of the best pizza around. 

“Hey there, guys,” one of the waiters said as he walked out of the kitchen carrying a deep dish that smelled like heaven. “You can take a seat wherever.” 

“Thanks, man.” I gestured for Ryan to go ahead, and I couldn’t help but enjoy the view, because my new roommate had one hell of a fine ass. The more I was around him, the more difficult I was finding it to resist this attraction.

It’d been hard enough keeping my eyes on the road when he was all over me during the ride here, and now I had to sit across from him? This had trouble written all over it.

“Does this work?”

When he stopped by a table in the corner of the restaurant, I almost said no. It suddenly seemed too dark, too private, too…date-like.

“It’s fine.”

Ryan smiled, and my entire body reacted like the two were hard-wired to one another. My muscles tensed and my dick throbbed, and I quickly pulled out my seat and took it before Ryan realized just how fine I thought he was.

“I like this place. It’s homey.”

“Wait till you try the pizza.” I grabbed the menus and held one out to him, but Ryan shook his head.

“Nope. I’m leaving my pizza fate in your hands.”

I grinned and put the menus back. “Sure you want to do that?”

“Why not? You’ve been here before, and I eat just about anything, so what could go wrong?”

“I could pick the one thing you don’t eat.”

“Doubtful. But if you do, I’ll let you know.”

“How comforting.” I looked around for the waiter, who headed our way.

“Are you ready to order?”

“Yeah, I think so. Could we get the stuffed mushrooms as an appetizer and the classic deep dish supreme?”

“Sure thing. And to drink?”

“A Coke for me,” I said, and then looked at Ryan. 

“I’ll have the same, thanks.”

“You got it.” The waiter reached for the menus.

“Thanks.” He disappeared into the kitchen, and I settled back into my seat.

“So, how’d you find this place?” Ryan asked.

“My old job. The station’s just around the corner from here.”

“Really?” Ryan looked over his shoulder as though he’d be able to see it. But luckily for me, I’d found a way to get here without having to pass it by. The less I saw of that place, the better. The wound was still too fresh, and I didn’t need the reminder.

“So you’ve always worked on this side of town? Then why did you live on the—”

When Ryan cut his words off, I finished his thought for him. “Then why did I live on the South Side?”

Ryan winced. “I’m sorry, that was rude.”

“Was it?”

“Well, I didn’t mean for it to be—”

“Then it wasn’t. You were asking a question, and here’s your answer. I lived there because that’s where I grew up. It’s what I know.”

A sheepish smile curved Ryan’s lips. “That makes sense.”

“I think so. What about you? You grow up in some fancy high rise downtown?”

“Hardly. I’m a suburbs kid.”

“Really? So, white picket fence? Tire swing in the backyard?”

“Close. Black iron fence and a treehouse.”

I chuckled, nodding. “Yeah, that seems about right.”

“What do you mean?”

“I don’t know, you seem well adjusted. Perfect job, perfect life, perfect childhood. All goes hand in hand, no?”

“No one’s life is perfect.” Ryan’s smile fell for a moment and I wondered if I’d gone too far. “I mean, I have to live with you.” He smirked.

I frowned and flipped him off, and he laughed.

“I’m not joking. Have you met you?” he said.

I was about to respond when the waiter stopped by our table with our appetizer and drinks. He slid the plate onto the center of the table, then headed off to his next customers.

“Mmm.” Ryan inhaled. “These smells amazing.”

“I told you. Wait until the pizza comes out.” 

“I’m a fan.” Ryan reached for the plates and held one out to me.

The delicious aromas of the pizza cooking in the kitchen made my stomach growl. But for now, I grabbed a couple of mushrooms and ranch.

“So I had the treehouse and the suburbs growing up,” Ryan said as he dunked one of his mushrooms in the creamy sauce. “And you had the city and a motorcycle, right? Didn’t you say you learned to ride at sixteen?”

“I did. But I was fixing them at thirteen. That’s when I met Jon.”

“Jon?”

“Yeah, the bartender who paid for your drinks the night you ventured into my part of the city.”

I popped one of the mushrooms in my mouth and chewed, and as the familiar flavors hit my tongue, the ache in my head resurfaced. 

“He paid for my drinks? I thought you did that? So really I should be thanking him for that night.”

“Don’t you offer to do shit for him—he’ll be quick to take you up on it. Especially someone who looks like you.” 

“What do you mean by that? He have a subscription to GQ magazine or something?”

I was about to tell him no, it was because he was put together and sweet looking, the perfect canvas to dirty up. But before I could, the splitting pain in my head made me wince. 

“Hey,” Ryan said. “Are you okay?”

“Actually, I’m not feeling so good. Do you mind if we cut out a little early?”

“Of course not. I knew we should’ve stayed in. Are you okay to ride home? We could call a—”

“I’m okay. It’s just my headache. It’s come back with a vengeance.”

Ryan frowned, and I suddenly hated to be cutting the night short. I’d been enjoying my time with him, finally getting to know something about him. But my head wasn’t having it. 

“Okay, let me cancel the pizza real quick, and I’ll just order something at home if I get hungry.” He signaled the waiter and explained what had happened, and after several apologies, Ryan tossed some bills on the table. 

“I brought you here,” I said. “I can pay.”

“I suggested we go out, so I got this. You can pay next time.”

Not about to argue, I nodded and headed for the door. All I wanted right now was to get us home safely and then crawl in bed, close my eyes, and wake up when this was all over.

OceanofPDF.com

Chapter 17

OceanofPDF.com

Jameson

MY HEAD WAS killing me and I could barely breathe as I sat up in bed the next morning and clutched at my forehead. 

I’d definitely felt it coming on last night. That was why I’d gone to bed early, hoping to sleep it off. But as I sat on the edge of the bed staring at my feet, I felt as though I’d been awake for a week. I was exhausted. 

I scrubbed my hands over my face, hoping to wake myself up somehow, but when I threw back the covers and got to my feet, the room began to spin. This wasn’t good. I couldn’t remember the last time I’d come down with a cold, and it had never felt like this.

I carefully made my way over to the dresser where I’d propped a mirror, and was shocked to see dark rings under my eyes and a noticeable paleness to my complexion.

Fuck. What the hell was wrong with me? My throat felt scratchy, too.

I grabbed a shirt from a drawer and pulled it on, deciding that a shower might help clear my head. If that didn’t work, maybe I could just crawl back in bed and die.

I pulled open my door and was about to head straight for the bathroom when I heard, “Good morning.”

Ryan was standing behind the island with a coffee mug in hand. He looked as put together as ever with his freshly showered hair pushed back and styled in his usual way. He had on a long-sleeved shirt that looked both warm and comfortable.

“Yeah, hi.”

Ryan set his coffee cup down and walked around the island. “You don’t look so good.”

I snorted, and when that made my head hurt, I grabbed it. “Thanks a lot, GQ.”

“No, I’m serious. You look really”—I cut my eyes to his—“sick.”

“Yeah.” I covered my mouth and coughed. “I’ve felt better.”

“Can I get you anything? Do anything for you?”

“Can you take a shower for me?” As soon as the words were out of my mouth, I realized how they sounded—and so did Ryan, judging by the spots of color that appeared on his cheeks.

“If you need help, I could—”

“No.”

Even though I’d told myself Ryan and I would never be more than roommates, the idea of his seeing me naked for the first time when I was practically an invalid was not a good one. 

“Okay, well, leave the door open a crack in case you fall. I need to be able to get to you.”

I blinked at him as though he’d gone insane. 

“What? It could happen.” Ryan hooked his arm through mine and began to lead me across the room. “Just because you’re the one who’s usually out helping people, doesn’t mean you might not need help yourself. Do you feel lightheaded?”

I felt like I was tripping on some really strong hallucinogens as Ryan stopped by the bathroom door and flicked on the light. As the room lit up, I squinted.

“Oh shit. Sorry.” He flipped it off again and held up a finger. “One sec. Hang on to the door.”

“I’m fine. I’m not going to fa—”

“Hang on to the door.” 

I smirked at Ryan’s bossy outburst. I couldn’t remember the last time someone had been so worried about my safety. I braced a hand on the frame, and once he was satisfied, he disappeared down the hall. 

A couple of seconds later, he was back and waving a nightlight. “This won’t blind you, but will give you some light.” 

“Thanks, I appreciate it.” 

Ryan walked inside and plugged in the light. “I’m going to leave the door open a little, just in case. Don’t fight me. I promise not to spy on you.”

He disappeared behind the door, and I carefully made my way to the shower. I turned on the faucet and then sat down on the closed lid of the toilet to remove my clothes. 

Damn, I felt like shit. From the pounding in my head, to my neck and shoulders that were starting to lock up, it seemed whatever this was, it was getting worse. 

I climbed into the shower and tipped my head back under the warm water, hoping the steam would somehow help the congestion and cure whatever had taken a hold of me—but no such luck. When I shut off the water, my legs began to shake. 

I carefully got out of the tub and gripped the counter, then grabbed the towel from the rack and wrapped it around my waist. That was when I decided it was time to ask for some help.

“GQ?” I called out, and not a second later, there was a light rap on the door.

“Jameson? Are you okay?” 

“I think I’m gonna need your help after all.” 

“Okay. Are you decent? Can I come in?” 

I scoffed. Even now he was polite. “Yeah, GQ, I’m decent.”

He came in but drew up short when he realized all I was wearing was a towel. “You’re not dressed.”

“Are you sure? I thought I put on my pants.”

When he arched a brow, I nodded to the clothes on the floor. 

“I was too shaky to put them on. Didn’t want to crack my head open on the tile.”

Ryan grimaced. “No, we don’t want that. Do you want me to help you get dressed?”

“No, just back to my room. I’ll feel better about putting them on if I’m sitting on a soft bed.”

“You got it.” He wound an arm around my waist, I looped mine around his shoulders, and he began to help me to my room. “Bet you never thought this is how we’d end up that first night we met.”

Ryan stopped just inside my door, and I shook my head. I’d imagined him in my bedroom, but not like this. “Definitely not.”

“Me either. Anyway, let me grab your clothes.”

He dashed out of my room to grab my things, and when he reappeared, so did his frown.

“You really don’t look good, Jameson.”

He held my clothes out to me, and even the simple task of reaching for them felt like a monumental effort. “Yeah, I don’t feel so hot.”

“I think I should take you to see someone.”

I screwed up my nose and shook my head.

“You seem even worse than when you first woke up.”

“I’ll be fine, it’s just—” Right on cue, a sneeze hit, and with my hand over my nose and mouth, I eyed him. “It’s just a head cold.”

“I don’t think so. It seems like more to me.” He stepped forward then and placed a hand on my forehead. “Holy shit. You’re hot as hell.”

I raised a brow, and Ryan rolled his eyes. 

“I’m sure you’ve heard that many times before, but this time I mean it. You really are hot. As in, you’re burning up. I think you have a fever.”

Great, that was the last thing I needed. If you had a fever, you weren’t allowed to work until you were twenty-four hours clear. So I needed to get to the bottom of this, and fast. It looked like I was taking Ryan up on his offer after all.

“Okay, let me get dressed. Are you sure you don’t mind taking me to the doctor’s office?”

“Not at all.” Ryan walked to my bedroom door and looked back at me. “Sure you don’t need help putting your pants on?”

His cheeky grin as he shut the door told me that this time he was definitely not offering because of my illness. But the last thing I needed was to get into a complicated situation with my roommate when we were just starting to get along. It was best we kept things as they were. Friendly…platonic.

Getting dressed took a little longer than usual, and by the time I reopened the door, I felt as though I’d run a damn marathon.

“Ready?” Ryan stood by the front door with my jacket in hand.

“You’re good at this.”

“This?” he asked as I slipped my arms into the jacket.

“Organizing someone. Looking after them.”

He picked up his keys. “I’ve had some experience in the area. Plus, that’s my job description. Literally.”

I supposed it was. I hadn’t thought of it like that. “Well, you kick ass at it.”

“I like to think so,” he said as he opened the door. “Now come on. I called the doctor who looks after Alexander, and he said he could fit you in.”

“What?” I stopped in my tracks. “I can just go to an urgent clinic.”

“Nonsense,” Ryan said as we walked down the hall to the elevator. “The last thing you need is to be around a whole bunch of other sick people. We need you checked out and back to fighting fit. Only the best for our local heroes.”

I didn’t have the energy to argue with him at this point, so I followed him into the elevator and let the wall hold me up, trying my best not to pass out on my feet.

OceanofPDF.com

Chapter 18

OceanofPDF.com

Ryan

JAMESON HAD THE flu.

Not a sore throat. Not a stuffy head. The flu, and he looked terrible. From the time we’d arrived at the doctor’s office to the time it took for him to have the test, he’d gone from a tepid yellow shade to a deathly pallor that could only be described as grey. 

It wasn’t good, but the doctor assured us it should only last a couple of days with Tamiflu. I wasn’t so sure about that. Along with all his other symptoms, Jameson had developed a horrible cough, which had me leading him straight to bed and demanding his station’s number.

“I’ll be fine. I just need to sleep it off.” The coughing fit that took over him after that said otherwise.

“You need a whole lot more than sleep, and certainly more than one night.”

As he flopped down on the bed, I held out my hand. Jameson grumbled but lifted his hips to fish his phone out of his pocket, and I had to remind myself how inappropriate it would be to lust after a sick man.

“Here,” he said, handing his phone over. “Look for Olsen. That’s my lieutenant.”

“Okay.” I pointed to him and then the bed. “Get comfortable and get under the covers. I’ll be back in a minute.”

“Bossy,” Jameson muttered as I left the room and hit the lieutenant’s number. 

“Clarke, how you doin’, man?” The sound of music and voices filtered through the phone, and I got the impression Olsen was out enjoying his Saturday afternoon. “Did you decide to come hang with us after all? We’re at Mulligan’s—you heard of it?”

Jameson was supposed to go out tonight? He hadn’t mentioned that. “Uh, sorry, this isn’t Jameson.”

“Oh, I thought that’s the number that—”

“It is,” I said. “Is this Olsen? Lieutenant Olsen?”

There was a pause, and then the background noise seemed to dissipate. “Yeah, this is Olsen. Who’s this?”

“I’m Ryan, Jameson’s—”

“New roommate. Yeah, he told us about you.”

He had? Now there was a shocker. Jameson didn’t strike me as the type to tell anyone anything. But the idea that he’d told his crew that he had a new roommate and even included my name made my stomach do a little flip.

“Yes, that’s me. I’m calling because Jameson’s sick. He’s come down with the flu and can barely move. We just got back from the doctor and picked up some meds, but I’m not sure when he’ll be able to come back to work.”

“Oh shit, is he okay?” 

“He’s pretty useless right now. Fever, cough, headache.”

“Ugh, yeah, you tell him to stay his ass home. I don’t want him at work, and I definitely don’t want what he’s got.” Olsen chuckled. “Nice housewarming gift for you, though.”

I couldn’t help but laugh, because I’d thought the same thing. “I know, but so far I feel fine. Hopefully I stay that way.”

“I’ll keep my fingers crossed for you.”

“Thanks, I appreciate that.”

“Hey—Ryan, is it?”

“Yeah, that’s right.”

“You should come down to the station when Clarke’s feeling better, meet everyone.”

“Actually, I’ve already been there. I was part of the ENN crew that came out to get some photos of your station.”

“Really? Didn’t Jameson show you around that day?”

“He did, yes. But we’d met before then.”

“Ah, gotcha. Well, you didn’t meet the rest of us, so maybe you’ll have to make a second trip.” 

That was fine by me.

“Tell Clarke to give me a call when he can hold his head up again and we’ll work out when he can come back.”

“Will do. It was nice to meet—talk—to you.”

“You too, Ryan. Sounds like our guy’s in good hands over there.” 

“He is.”

“I’ll see you around.”

“See you.” I ended the call and made my way into the kitchen to look for something Jameson could eat. Now that his work was squared away, he could relax and take the time he needed to get himself back to feeling better. 

I opened the pantry and spotted several cans of soup, chicken noodle included. I put a pot on the stove and dumped the contents inside, then grabbed a travel mug from one of the cupboards and filled it with ice water. 

As the soup cooked, I stirred it and remembered the first time I’d had to step up and be the caretaker. Jameson had mentioned I was good at looking after someone, and that wasn’t all that surprising. 

During my teens, my younger brother, Eric, was diagnosed with Crohn’s disease. It was a relentless illness that sent him back and forth to the hospital for months with no answers, and watching him suffer and deteriorate had put an incredible strain on my family.

My parents had had to focus all their time and energy on making sure Eric got the best care possible, and I did everything in my power to make sure they were okay too. I’d helped around the house with the cooking and cleaning, and looked after my brother when they needed to take a couple of hours to sleep.

It’d given me a way to contribute. It’d made me feel useful, and that I could help in some way, even if it was small. It was a way to feel in control of what was going on around me, until my brother finally got the help he needed. 

What my family went through forever changed me, but it also helped me realize the things I was good at. So it was no surprise that I ended up in a job where I organized and scheduled another’s every move. Just like it was no surprise that looking after Jameson was helping me feel that I had a handle on the situation, that I’d be able to get him through this and back to all his grumpy glory. 

Satisfied the soup was on its way, I took the water and box of tissues we’d picked up at the pharmacy, and headed back into his room. 

When Jameson moved in, he’d hung blackout curtains, telling me it was the only way to get good sleep during the day, and as I stepped inside his room now, I realized how right he was. He’d drawn the curtains shut and switched off all the lights, and I could barely see one foot in front of the other.

“Jameson?” I whispered, just in case he was sleeping.

“Still alive, unfortunately.”

I grinned then used my phone as a light as I carefully made my way around the bed.

“I called Olsen, and he said don’t come anywhere near them until you're better.”

“Fucker.”

I chuckled and put the box of tissues on the nightstand. “He seems nice.”

“Yeah, he’s okay.”

I jiggled the ice water and placed it next to the tissues. “I brought you some water. You need to keep hydrated. I’m also making you some soup, and then I’ll put in a grocery order. Is there anything you like to have when you’re not feeling well?”

“Peace and quiet?” 

“Very funny.” 

Jameson began another coughing fit, and when it passed, he groaned. “My head is fucking killing me.”

“I bet. Hopefully the meds kick in soon and you’ll be able to get some sleep.”

“Or you could just put me out of my misery. Use a pillow. I won’t fight.”

“Sorry, no can do.” I bent down and pressed my palm to his forehead. “I need someone to pay the rent.”

Jameson’s bleary eyes locked on mine. “That was cold, GQ.”

“Well, you’re not. That fever’s back. I’m going to get a cold compress and the thermometer.” I walked to the door. “Don’t go anywhere.”

Jameson grunted in response, and if he’d had the energy, I got the feeling he would’ve thrown a pillow at me. I passed by the kitchen and checked on the soup then headed to the bathroom to grab what I needed.

It took me all of five minutes, but by the time I got back, Jameson was out, and I wasn’t about to wake him.

I quietly placed the thermometer on the nightstand and tiptoed out of his room, leaving the door slightly ajar in case he needed something. Then I hung the compress over the side of the tub and went to turn off the stove. 

Looked like chicken noodle soup for me tonight, and I’d get some more when I placed that grocery order. I glanced at the clock and noticed it was still relatively early for a Saturday night, so I decided to eat my dinner and grab a quick shower. 

I headed into the bathroom but left the door open, knowing Jameson wasn’t getting up anytime soon. Once I was finished, I grabbed a blanket from the linen closet and settled into one of the loveseats, deciding that would be my post for the night.

Then I flipped on the TV and looked through the streaming services for something to watch.

Several Marvel movies later, I glanced at the clock to see it was closing in on one a.m. I yawned and moved to switch off the lamp on the side table, and that was when I heard a groan come from the bedroom.

My hand froze as I listened for any other movement or sound. I sat up, staring at Jameson’s room, and just when I’d decided he’d fallen back asleep, I heard it again.

When I slowly pushed his door open, the light from the living room cast a soft glow across the bed. Jameson had kicked the covers off himself, and the image that greeted me made me grip the door to stay upright. 

In nothing more than a pair of briefs, Jameson was a feast for the eyes. But as my gaze traveled up his twitching body to his sweat-soaked hair, I quickly squashed that response and sprang into action. 

It was clear he was in the grips of a fever as he tossed and turned on the mattress, and I ran for the bathroom to grab that cold compress and a towel. When I re-entered his room he was mumbling something, his eyes still shut, and I rushed over to his side and kneeled by the bed. 

“Let me in there! I can get in there,” Jameson said as I reached for the sheet on the ground and pulled it up over him.

“Shh,” I whispered, trying to soothe him, but he was deep in it now. “Jameson?” 

The second the material touched his skin, he kicked it off, his head thrashing on the pillow. My fingers brushed up against his arm, and that was enough to know he was burning up.

“Jameson?” I said again, a little more forcefully this time, but still nothing. His eyes remained shut and his body was beginning to shake.

“We promised we wouldn’t let this happen… You promised…”

I had no idea what he was talking about. He was in some fever-dream state. But whatever he was caught up in, he was going to have to ride it out, because this thing had a strong hold on him.

I placed the cold compress on his forehead, and when that didn’t wake him either, I knew he was in for a rough night. 

I tried again with the covers, and this time he gripped the material and pulled it up under his chin. Satisfied he was covered up, I was about to run to the living room and grab the blanket I’d been using when I heard, “Don’t leave.”

I stopped in my tracks, thinking the fever might’ve broken, but when I turned to face the bed, I noticed his eyes were shut. Jameson was still dreaming.

“I’m sorry… I’m so sorry, Simon.”

Simon? Just when I thought I was beginning to know him a little better, another mystery surfaced. 

Who was Simon? And what did Jameson have to feel sorry for?

OceanofPDF.com

Chapter 19

OceanofPDF.com

Jameson

I HAD NO idea what day it was or how long I’d been in this bed. But as I opened my eyes and looked toward the window, I saw it was dark outside.

I stretched beneath the covers, and for the first time in a long time, nothing hurt. Thank God. Maybe the worst was over? I sure as shit hoped so. 

I listened to hear whether or not Ryan was home, and when all that met me was silence, I threw the covers back and got to my feet. When the room didn’t spin, I smiled, because that was progress. I glanced down at the pajama bottoms I wore and wondered when I’d put them on. But before I could think too hard about that, my stomach started to rumble.

I headed to the closet to grab a shirt, and when I passed by the mirror, I did a double take. My hair was all over the place and my beard was in need of a desperate trim, but it was the red-rimmed eyes that caught my attention.

This flu had sure done a number on me, but now that I was feeling better, it was time to get my shit together and get some food in me. I tugged on my shirt and pulled open the door, and the delicious smell of something cooking filled the air.

“Well, hello, stranger.” Ryan sat up on the couch.

“Hey.”

“How are you feeling?”

“Better.” I moved into the living room. “So much better.”

“Good. That’s excellent. I’ve been so worried about you.”

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to cause any problems. Especially so soon into this.”

“No, no,” he said as he got to his feet. “You didn’t. I promise. But you were out for…days.”

“Days?”

“Yeah, it’s Monday night.”

I looked at the clock. “Fucking hell.” 

Ryan chuckled. “I know. That was a rough seventy-two hours.”

“You’re telling me.” I ran my hand through my hair and blew out a breath. “I think you had the worst of it, though. I hardly remember any of it.”

“That’s probably for the best. You were sick as a dog. Your fever was ridiculous. At one point I thought I was going to have to take you to the hospital, but then it broke. Today’s the first day you seemed to be sleeping peacefully. So I left you alone and just checked in on you occasionally.”

But today was Monday. He should’ve been at work. “You stayed home today?”

“Well, I wasn’t going to leave.”

I shook my head, hating that I’d not only disrupted where he lived but also his work. “You shouldn’t have done that. I would’ve been fine.”

“You don’t know that, and I was happy to. I had days owed to me, and I never would have forgiven myself if something happened to you.”

“You still shouldn’t have done it.”

“And you should just say thank you.” 

He was right—I should be thankful that someone gave enough of a shit about me to care if I lived or died.

“Say it,” Ryan sang, and his jovial attitude was difficult to ignore.

My lips twitched. “Thank you, but you shouldn’t have—”

“Nope, don’t want to hear it. Now, what can I get for you?” Ryan smiled, and the warmth and brightness reminded me I was well and truly alive. My chest tightened and my heart thudded a little faster. I didn’t know what I’d done to deserve the kind of generosity he was showing me, but I was grateful for it. He was a good man, and I was lucky he’d been here.

“I’d sell my soul about now to know what you’re cooking for dinner.”

“Your soul, huh?” 

“That’s the only thing that’s worth anything, and that’s not saying much.”

Ryan cocked his head to the side, and the smile vanished. “Why do you do that?”

“What?”

“Talk badly about yourself.”

“I don’t.”

“Yes, you do. Or you turn something good around to make it into something bad. Like you’re trying to push everyone away.”

Well, he sure had my number. But that didn’t change anything—it was safer to push people away than let them in, and that was the way I liked it. At least, it had been until Ryan came along and Olsen started making me question myself. 

“I’m just not a people person, that’s all.”

Ryan narrowed his eyes, and I had a feeling he didn’t believe me, but then he said, “Shake ’n’ bake chicken.”

I blinked, the change of topic throwing off my still-hazy brain.

“That’s what I’m cooking.”

“Oh.” I took a deep breath and groaned. “It smells like heaven.”

“It’s nothing fancy, but the fact you can smell anything is a good sign.”

“You’re telling me.” I looked to the kitchen and then to the bathroom. “Do you think I have time for a quick shower?”

“You have time to take a long one. Seriously, there’s no rush. I’m sure a shower and clothes other than pajamas will go a long way to making you feel better.”

I headed toward my room but then stopped. “Am I wearing your pajamas?”

A delicious red flush crept up Ryan’s neck to his cheeks, answering the question that had been on my mind since I woke.

“I, uh, looked in your closet and drawers, and you didn’t seem to have any, and with the way you kept kicking the covers off, I thought it was for the best…”

“I don’t remember you putting them on me.”

His eyes locked with mine, and I thought it was a damn shame I was still recovering. I wanted to go over there and kiss the hell out of him.

“You were barely lucid over the last three days. I’m not surprised you don’t remember.”

“Me either. That’s a shame.”

Ryan’s eyes widened, then I turned to my room to hunt for some clothes of my own. 

With my clothes in hand, I made my way into the bathroom, happy that Ryan seemed to have gone to his room for the moment. I turned on the faucet and stripped out of my clothes, stepped in under the spray, and let out a long, satisfied moan.

Damn that felt good. The warm water sluicing down over my muscles was exactly what I needed.

Then I imagined a certain man with pink cheeks and full lips standing right there with me.

A wave of pleasure washed over me, reminding me that my body still worked, that it was still fully functional after all it had been through. My cock stiffened, and I reached down and wrapped my hand around my erection.

I closed my eyes and began to work myself to the delectable image of my roommate, and when I thought of the sacrifices and care he’d shown me over the last few days, my desire for him only intensified.

I bit down into my lip, stroking myself a little harder, and when I heard movement outside the bathroom door, and thought of Ryan only one room away from me while I got off to the image of him on his knees, I dug my fingers into the tile and came all over the wall in an explosive reminder that I was well on my way to recovery.

I let out a satisfied sigh and dropped my hand, then I straightened under the spray and quickly finished washing up, suddenly wanting to see him again. 

I dried off and had a quick shave, then pulled the door open and walked out into the living room.

I crossed over to the kitchen island, drinking in the sight of Ryan before he turned around. “Can I help with anything?”

Ryan glanced over his shoulder and pointed to the stool. “Definitely not. You sit.”

“Yes, sir.”

Ryan smirked and turned to the oven, and when he bent down to open it, I couldn’t help my eyes from straying to the perfect ass underneath his sweats.

I was definitely feeling better, because despite my little session in the shower, my body was responding in all the ways it usually did when I looked at my roommate.

“Do you feel better after your shower?”

You could say that. “Can I be honest?”

Ryan slid the baking dish onto the counter and shut the oven door. “Of course.”

“I feel fucking amazing.” I wouldn’t tell him why, but it was the truth.

He looked to me and laughed. “Oh yeah?”

“Yeah.” I sighed and shoved my fingers through my hair. “I mean, I hate being sick, but Jesus, this thing knocked me on my ass.”

“It didn’t look fun, that’s for sure.” Ryan pulled his oven mitts off and then grabbed a plate to put a piece of chicken on. “I made mashed potatoes, thinking it would be easy to eat. Does that work?”

I was again taken off guard by the gesture. I’d never been so well cared for in my life, and it felt nice. 

Ryan picked up our plates and brought them over to me, then he took out several condiments for the chicken and held up a jug of water.

“This do, or would you like something else?”

“Water’s great.”

He smiled, grabbed two glasses, and then handed me my utensils before taking the seat beside me.

“Hey,” I said, and bumped my shoulder with his. “Thank you for looking after me through this. I know it couldn’t have been easy.”

This close I could see the flecks of gold in his hazel eyes, and I wasn’t sure if it was the residual effects of my illness, but they seemed to glow.

“You were fine, honestly. Maybe even nicer than when you’re lucid.”

I scoffed. “I guess I deserve that.”

“I’m just messing with you. But really, the worst part was your fever.”

I frowned. “It’s weird that I don’t remember it.”

Ryan nodded, his expression turning serious. “It was bad.”

I took a bite of my meal and had to hold back a groan as the familiar taste of the chicken hit. Between the meal, the company, and the care Ryan had shown me, I felt a sense of warmth and belonging I’d never experienced before. I felt safe, and I never felt like that. 

“Do you mind if I ask you something?” Ryan asked.

“Sure.”

“And you don’t have to answer if—”

“GQ, you just spent the weekend changing my clothes and making sure I didn’t die. I’m pretty sure I can answer a question for you.” At least, I hoped I could.

Ryan bit down on his lower lip. “Okay, but remember you don’t have to answer.”

“Okay.”

“Who’s Simon?”

The second the question left Ryan’s tongue, I froze. That was the last thing I’d expected him to ask. Where had he heard that name? “Why?” The sense of safety I’d been feeling seconds ago was replaced with cold, hard dread. 

“You talked to him a lot when you were sick. It seemed like you were close.”

I squeezed my eyes shut, trying to block out Ryan’s words, but when flashes from that day started to replay in my mind, I reopened them.

“Jameson?” Ryan reached out and placed a gentle hand on my arm.

I glanced at him and saw compassion and understanding shining back at me. “He was a friend of mine. He died.”

Not able to bear the look of sympathy I knew I’d see on his face, I lowered my eyes to Ryan’s hand. As we sat there in silence, the only sound I could hear was the blood ringing in my ears.

“Was he a fireman too?”

“Yeah. He died on scene at one of our calls.”

Ryan took in a deep breath. “Was that his room at your old place?”

I nodded, trying to find my words, but it was difficult. I’d spent so long actively avoiding the subject that I didn’t know what to say. I didn’t even know where to start.

“It’s okay if you’d rather not—”

“We drove into work together one morning,” I finally managed, remembering Simon laughing and giving me shit about some guy who wouldn’t stop calling me. “But that night, only I came home.”

I shook my head and put my knife and fork down. “I didn’t—still don’t—know how to process that. We’d been friends since we were teenagers, and him not being here anymore is just too fucking painful to think about.”

“Jameson… I’m so sorry.”

“Why? It wasn’t your fault.” 

“I’m sure it wasn’t yours either.”

I turned to see him looking at me with a certainty I didn’t share. But then I realized what he’d said. “Why would you think I blamed myself?”

Ryan swallowed as though he was nervous about his next words. “Because you were apologizing to him.”

Fuck. I scrubbed my hands over my face.

“I’m sorry,” Ryan said, his voice soft. “We don’t have to talk about this anymore. I just wanted to understand and let you know I’m here if you ever want to talk.”

I stared at my plate for a moment and then looked up at him. “Thanks, I appreciate that.”

And for the first time, I wasn’t lying.

It hurt like hell to talk about Simon, to think about that day. But if I was going to open up to anyone, it would be Ryan, the man who had cared for me in my hour of need, and asked for nothing in return. 

I trusted him, and I trusted no one. 

We went back to eating our dinner, and just as we were finishing up, he said, “Do you think that maybe we could start over? Be friends?” 

That feeling of warmth and sense of belonging returned, and I found myself nodding. “Yeah, GQ, I think I’d like that.”

OceanofPDF.com

Chapter 20

OceanofPDF.com

Ryan

“THERE HE IS!” Jude bounced up from his barstool, waving his hand in the air madly, as I made my way through the crowd.

It was Thursday night, and Jude had texted me at the beginning of the week asking if I wanted to meet up with him and Gabe at After Hours for drinks. It was a bar located in the same building as Gabe’s job, and after last weekend looking after Jameson, it seemed like the perfect way to unwind. 

“We were about to send out a search party for you,” Gabe said as he got up to hug me.

After greeting them, I unbuttoned my coat and moved in a little closer to the bar. “No need. I was just wrapping up a few last-minute things for Alexander.”

“I wasn’t talking about tonight.” Gabe chuckled and slid a Cuban daiquiri my way, his half-finished one sitting in front of him. “I meant this past week. You’ve been completely MIA, and a little birdie even told me that you skipped a day of work this week.”

“Marcus has a big mouth.”

“Oh yes he does,” Gabe said as I took a sip of my drink.

“Wait a second,” Jude said, looking around Gabe’s shoulder. “You, Ryan Carrigan, skipped a day of work? I thought someone had to be dying before you’d leave Alexander’s side.”

I thought about Jameson’s pale face and sweat-drenched body and nodded. “Someone pretty much was. Jameson came down with the flu this past weekend, and I was looking after him.”

“Oh shit.” Gabe shifted a little ways back from me. 

“I don’t have it.” I shook my head. “And he’s fine now. He went back to work yesterday.”

“But you took time off to look after him?” Jude’s eyes gleamed as he bumped into Gabe’s arm, and they gave each other conspiratorial grins. “Sounds to me like someone has a crush on his new roommate.”

“Because I looked after him?” I took another long sip of my drink and eyed the two grinning fools. “What was I supposed to do, leave him alone while he was running a hundred-plus fever?”

“No,” Gabe said, his lips twitching. “You were supposed to nurse him back to health and give him a sponge bath whenever he needed it. How often was that, by the way?”

“You two are ridiculous.”

“And you risked catching the flu and missed work for someone you barely know.” Jude chuckled. “You’re so crushing on him. You have been from the first night.”

It was true, but I was trying my hardest not to think about that. Jameson and I were finally in a good place. We’d started over, and this friends thing was working well so far. I mean, it’d only been a couple of days, but it felt good. We were more comfortable around each other, and every day he opened up a little more.

“It’s not like that. We’re just friends.”

“Uh, no.” Gabe finished off his drink and gestured for the bartender. “We’re friends.” He pointed to the three of us. “We don’t want to see any of the other two sitting here naked. That’s friends. Do you want to see Jameson naked?”

Hell yes I did, but I couldn’t afford to think about that, otherwise I’d never stop. I was just about to try to Pinocchio my way out of answering when the bartender stopped in front of us.

“What can I get for you guys?” he asked, distracting Gabe, who flashed one of his signature smiles—the one with the dimples—that made just about everyone’s brain melt out of their ears.

“Could we get another round of Cuban daiquiris, please? And we’re going to move to a booth, if that’s okay.”

“Of course. Is there anything else you need?” 

Jude snorted, and it was all I could do not to roll my eyes. I was pretty sure Gabe could’ve told the guy he’d like free drinks all night and he would’ve agreed. But when Gabe merely shook his head and thanked him, the bartender walked off.

“Could you get a little uglier, please?” Jude said as he climbed off his stool. “That way the rest of us single people might stand a chance.”

Gabe smirked. “I mean, I could try, but…”

“Oh God. It’s a wonder Marcus ever lets you out of the house without him.” I looked over to the booths and spotted an empty one. “If you think your head can make it across the room, there’s a free booth over in the corner.”

Gabe laughed as the three of us headed to the vacant spot. Once we got there I shrugged out of my jacket and slid into one side, while Gabe and Jude took the other. 

“Okay, so back to what we were talking about,” Gabe said, and I almost groaned. “You totally want to see Jameson naked, don’t you?”

“If he doesn’t, I do.” Jude bumped my leg under the table. “A fireman who looks like him and rides a motorcycle? Who wouldn’t want to see him naked?”

I let out a sigh, knowing they weren’t about to let this go. “It’s not like that.”

“Like what?”

“Like…a hookup.” I glanced at Jude as our drinks were delivered. “This isn’t like you and Scruff Guy. I live with Jameson. I can’t just get naked with him. What if it doesn’t work out?”

“What if it does?”

Of course I’d thought of that. Nights in bed with Jameson, morning showers with him. Oh yes, I’d thought about that a little too much, and in very vivid detail. But the flip side to that was losing a roommate. So I just had to be content with looking from a distance. 

“No, we’re finally getting along, and I don’t want to ruin that.”

Gabe pursed his lips. “Bullshit.”

“Excuse me?”

“I call bullshit.”

“Mhmm.” Jude nodded at Gabe like they’d discussed this before. Knowing these two, they probably had. “So do I. You like this guy, right?”

“Yes, that’s why I’m not going to do anything to mess it up,” I said.

“Nooo.” Gabe shook his head. “That’s exactly why you have to risk messing it up.”

“He’s right,” Jude said, pointing to my phone. “How long have you been signed up to that dating app we use?”

“Dating app? That’s a rather loose interpretation, don’t you think? How many of the guys have you dated that you met on there?”

Jude shrugged. “Fair point. But…at least I’m getting out there.”

“That’s putting it mildly.”

Jude made a face. “Hey, at least I’m trying. You don’t date or hook up with anyone. When was the last time you had sex?”

The table fell silent, and Gabe picked his glass up and eyed me over the rim all innocent. These two were on some kind of mission, and if I was about to get a lecture about “going after your man,” I needed more alcohol.

“I’ve had sex…this year.”

Gabe chuckled. “You sure? Do you want to check your calendar? I’m pretty sure you would’ve scheduled it.”

Smartass. I kicked him under the table. 

“Ouch.” Gabe bent down to rub his shin. “Why didn’t you kick Jude? He asked the question.”

Jude grinned. “Because he likes me better.”

Right now, they both sucked. I kicked Jude too.

“Jesus, Ry. Those things are pointy.”

I saluted the both of them, the alcohol starting to buzz in my head.

Gabe settled back in his seat. “Stop trying to change the subject.”

“The subject being my sex life.”

“Or lack of it.”

“Not everyone needs to have sex twenty-four seven to be living a satisfying life, you know.” 

“I agree,” Gabe said. “But you’re not everyone, and you can’t tell me that if Jameson said, ‘Hey, Ryan, want to spend the weekend in my bed,’ you wouldn’t throw yourself down on his mattress.”

I was about to prove him wrong but hesitated a second too long because—

“See, I’m right.” 

“We’re right,” Jude said, pointing at me, and I let out a sigh.

Okay, so they might’ve been a little bit right—or a lot. I really would throw myself down on Jameson’s mattress if he asked. But he hadn’t, so it didn’t matter how much I wanted it to happen, and these two instigators needed to realize that.

“So let’s pretend you’re right—”

“We are,” Gabe said. 

“That doesn’t change anything. Jameson and I are just friends, and only recently at that.”

“Oh come on.” Jude rolled his eyes. “This guy saved you by pretending to be your boyfriend. He all but felt you up in an alley.”

“Woah, woah, woah.” Gabe held up a hand. “He felt you up in an alley?” 

“Not really,” I said. “More like he…stroked my suspenders.”

Gabe’s mouth fell open. “Please tell me that’s a euphemism.” 

“It’s not. He was literally playing with them.” 

“Why didn’t that come up at lunch?”

I shrugged. “It didn’t seem relevant.”

“Relevant? Of course it is, not to mention it’s the best part of the story. Is there anything else you’ve left out? Any flirting? Any hints that he might be interested?”

I thought back to the night he’d shown up to look at the apartment and felt my cheeks heat.

“Oh my God,” Jude said. “There totally is. Did you really give him a sponge bath after all?”

“No.” I sighed and looked to the bar, catching the bartender’s attention. “But if you two are going to drill me—”

“Someone’s got to.” Gabe smirked.

“—then I need more to drink.”

Jude rubbed his hands together. “This sounds promising.”

When the bartender got to our table, we ordered another round, but this time tequila shots.

“Okay, we have the drinks,” Gabe said as though I was about to bolt. “So…time to spill.” 

I downed my first shot. Then I just decided to rip the Band-Aid off. 

“The night Jameson came to look at the apartment, he told me we’d end up in my bed, and for that reason he didn’t want to live with me.”

“Bam.” Gabe slapped his hand on the table and threw back his shot. “I knew it. I knew there was more to it. He totally wants you, Ry. You see that, don’t you?”

“I… It’s complicated.”

“No. No, it’s not. You both eat, sleep, and live under the same roof. How hard can this be?”

“Hard, I promise,” I said, and ran a hand through my hair, defeated. It was time to give it up. These two knew me better than anyone else, and there was no hiding how badly I wanted Jameson. “Ugh, it’s not fair. He’s just so hot. Hot and grumpy and…there’s something about him that’s so damn sexy. He’s all I ever think about.” 

“Then do something about it.” Jude pointed to my phone. “Text him.”

“What?” I shook my head. “No way.”

Gabe slid out of the booth and into mine and scooped up my phone. “Come on. How are you ever going to know how he feels unless you tell him how you feel?”

I wasn’t quite sure that was the smartest way to rationalize things, but with the drinks and alcohol fueling my buzz, rationalization was a thing of the past.

“Okay, give it to me.”

Gabe handed me my cell, a mischievous grin on his face, and I opened up a new text thread to Jameson and began to type. I described all of the things I’d ever dreamed of doing to him, and by the time I got to the end, my cheeks felt as though they were on fire.

“That must be some text,” Jude said, waggling his brows. “You’re as red as the cherries that were in our daiquiris.”

“Shh. I’m concentrating.”

“Mhmm,” Gabe said, leaning in to read over my shoulder. “On getting Jameson naked.”

I chuckled and bit my lip, really getting into it. I was on a roll now.

“Okay, done.”

“Show.” Jude gestured for my phone, and I handed it over. A couple seconds later, he let out a whistle. “That’s how it’s done. I’m proud.”

Gabe was next to check out my masterpiece. When he bumped shoulders with me and said, “Where’s Marcus when I need him?” I knew I’d relayed my longing and pent-up frustration perfectly.

I took the phone back from him and read through it one more time. “I’m crazy listening to you two.”

“Nooo, smaaaht.” Gabe laughed, grabbed another shot, and threw it back. “Do eet. Do eet.”

I looked over to Jude, who was nodding enthusiastically—nothing like peer pressure.

“Send it, Ry.”

Then Gabe leaned over and hit SEND for me. 

Oh. My. God.

I whipped my head in his direction, and Gabe grinned. “You’re welcome.” When I just stared at him, he held out another shot to me. “Drink this. It’ll make you feel better.”

“Woohooooo.” Jude did a drumroll on the tabletop and then gestured for the bartender, and Gabe started to laugh uproariously. “Now let’s celebrate.”

OceanofPDF.com

Chapter 21

OceanofPDF.com

Jameson

FOR THE FIRST time in a week, I felt like my normal, regular, healthy self. My first shift back at the station had been a wake-up call that my body had definitely been put through the wringer. But after spending most of it at a desk, and then a somewhat restless night’s sleep back at home, I was finally back to fighting fit. 

I glanced at my phone on the nightstand, the culprit of my tossing and turning, and wondered if I’d imagined that text I received last night. But then I thought about the dreams that had invaded my sleep, and I figured that was a no. 

I stretched beneath the covers and reached for my cell. There it was. I definitely hadn’t imagined it. Staring back at me on the screen was one of the sexiest things I’d ever read in my life. It was hot, dirty, and very detailed, and I could hardly believe it’d come from GQ.

Ever since he’d nursed me back from what felt like the brink of death, Ryan and I had been getting along better than ever. It was difficult to keep up walls when the guy had seen me at my absolute worst, but nothing had prepared me for what was written here.

My cock stiffened beneath the covers as I read the words for the millionth time, and I reached down to massage my throbbing length. 

Fuck, I had no idea what had possessed him to send this, but it was like he’d gotten inside my head and written down every single thought I’d had about him from the moment we met. 

I’d been adamant when I moved in that nothing was going to happen between us—that had felt like the smart decision. So I’d been sure to do everything I could to keep him at arm’s length. But as I read over his words, and thought about the selfless way he’d looked after me, I realized that for the lie it was. 

I wanted him. I’d wanted him from the moment I’d seen him at Jon’s. So there was no way I was letting this go. Not this time. 

I could hear the shower running from across the apartment, then the water shutting off. A couple minutes later, a door opened and closed, and I knew Ryan was getting ready for work.

Not wanting to miss him before he left, I headed into the bathroom to wash up and get dressed, and since I didn’t have anywhere to go today, I beat him out to the kitchen, where I got the coffee started. I was just pouring myself a mug when Ryan stepped out into the kitchen and winced.

“Oh God, I never realized how bright these lights are.”

I glanced at the pendant lights that hung over the kitchen island. They were bright, but nothing out of the norm. But then I realized what the problem was—Ryan was hungover. Oh, he looked as sharp and sophisticated as ever in his suit. But his stubble was a little darker today, and his eyes a little red-rimmed.

Well, this was starting to make a whole lot more sense now.

I leaned back against the counter and took a sip of my coffee. “Late night?”

He groaned and walked over to the machine. “You mean it’s not still night?”

As Ryan grabbed a travel mug from the cupboard, I eyed him over the rim of my mug. He seemed a little tired, and must have a headache the size of Texas, considering the lights were bothering him. But other than that, he was acting like he always did around me.

There was no weirdness, no awkward oh my God, I’m sorry I sexted you last night. Nope, Ryan was acting as though everything was as it always was.

“Do anything fun last night?” I asked.

“Just the usual. Met up with my friends and had a few drinks,” he said as he shut the cupboard and took the lid off his mug. 

“A few, huh?”

Ryan grimaced and turned my way. “Shit, was I loud when I came in? Did I keep you up?”

He’d kept me up, all right, but not the way he thought. It seemed Ryan had forgotten one thing in particular that he’d done last night.

Now this could be fun. 

“I didn’t hear a thing. I went to bed early, read for a little, then fell asleep. Best sleep I’ve had in a week.”

“I believe that.” Ryan went back to preparing his coffee. “Did you read anything good?”

“I did.” I pulled out my phone and opened up the text. “Let me read you some. I think you’ll like it too.”

“Okay.” 

“Okay, here goes. ‘Hey, Jameson, just texting to let you know I won’t be home until later tonight. I’m out with the guys…’”

As my words floated in the air between us, Ryan’s hand froze where he was screwing on the lid of his travel mug. 

This was about to get all kinds of interesting.

“I also wanted to let you know something else, something I would never say to your face, buuut here goes. Ever since we met, I haven’t been able to stop thinking about you.”

Ryan had gone still as a statue, his entire body tense, and I wondered if he was even breathing. 

“I know you said nothing would happen between us, but that doesn’t mean I can’t imagine what it would be like, right? The way you’d kiss me, the way you’d touch me and take me? Because I’ve imagined it all. I imagine it every night. Like your kisses? Hmm—”

“Oh my God,” Ryan said, and then, fast as lighting, reached for my phone. “Give that to me.” 

I tugged my hand free. “Now, why would I want to do that? It’s just getting interesting.”

“Jameson…” 

The flush on his cheeks was so fucking sexy. But I wasn’t about to stop now. 

“‘I bet they’d be a little rough. Would you suck on my lip? Bite it? Maybe you’d do both. I want you to.’”

“Please stop.” Ryan groaned and brought his hands up to his face. “I’ll pay you to stop.”

“There’s not enough money in the world, GQ.” I took a step forward, and Ryan took a step back.

“What are you doing?” 

“Just getting a little closer.” I took another step. “I don’t want you to miss the next part.”

When Ryan’s ass hit the corner of the counter and he realized he was trapped, his eyes widened and he gripped the marble.

“Are you ready?”

“No.”

I lowered my eyes down his pristine suit then fingered his tie. “No?”

“Can’t you just delete it?”

“Hmm, I don’t think so. It’s a good instruction manual.”

“Instruction manual?”

I nodded and began to wind his tie around my hand until I had a good grip. “Yeah, on how to turn you on.”

Ryan sucked in a breath and bit down on his lip—the lip he wanted me to bite.

“Like this part here. Apparently you have a thing for my mouth. You seem to want it on every part of you. Let’s see, how’d you put it? ‘I can imagine you kissing your way down my neck, your lips sucking on my hot skin, and damn, Jameson, I’d just about die to feel you suck on my—’” 

“Stop…” Ryan’s breathing was coming a little faster now.

“Stop?” I tugged on his tie until his head jerked forward a fraction, then I flicked my tongue over the corner of his lips. “I’m just fucking starting.”

I crushed my mouth down onto his with all the need and frustration that had built up in me since the moment I spotted him in Jon’s bar. I tossed my phone onto the counter and grabbed the back of his neck, then speared my tongue between his lips. Ryan’s hand landed on my chest, and when I thrust my hips forward, he dug his fingers into my shirt. 

My cock was aching, throbbing inside my sweats like it had been all night, and I could feel his erection hard against mine. As I devoured his mouth, I rocked forward into him. Then I released my grip on his neck and smoothed my hand down his side to his ass. I squeezed the tight, round curve hidden behind the expensive material of his pants, and Ryan shoved his hips forward and tore his mouth free.

“Shit.” His head fell back against the cupboard as I began to kiss and bite my way along his jaw to his ear.

“Is this how you imagined it? My mouth on you, my cock fucking hard for you?”

“Yes…”

I flicked his earlobe with the tip of my tongue. Then he turned his head, those gorgeous eyes dark with arousal. I needed another taste.

I took his lips again, harder this time, determined to tease every single inch of his mouth as he smoothed his hand down my chest to the bottom of my shirt. He slipped his fingers into the elastic of my sweats, and I groaned, knowing what he wanted. But unfortunately, he had a job to get to this morning, and this was where things had to end.

I reached down and gripped his wrist, stopping his fingers from pushing me beyond the point of no return. Then I nipped at his lower lip and raised my head.

“You go down there, you aren’t leaving this apartment anytime soon.”

Ryan licked his lips, and there was nothing I wanted more than to feel them around my dick.

“No.” I shook my head. “You’re not missing another day of work this week for me.”

Ryan stroked the sensitive skin of my abdomen. “Technically, it would be for both of us this time.”

I groaned. “I’m hanging on by a thread here, GQ. Give me a break.”

He looked down to where I still had a hold of his hand. “Let me touch you. Just once. I want to see how good my imagination was.”

“No way. You touch me, you’re gonna end up on this floor and your suit will be ruined.”

“I don’t care.”

“I do. I like your suits.” I let go of him and took a step back. “I’ll make you a deal: you got to work, and when you get home, you can touch me wherever—”

“Deal,” he said. Then he reluctantly slipped out from between me and the counter.

I turned to watch him go and took a nice, long look at his ass. That suit really did fit him to perfection. I reached down to rearrange my hard-on as he grabbed his jacket from the back of the couch. He headed for the door, but I spotted his traveler mug.

“GQ? Aren’t you forgetting something?”

Ryan stopped as I headed across the living room. “Oh yeah, thanks. Have a good day, Jameson.”

“I plan to.” I opened the door, and as he stepped through, I winked at him. “I’m gonna go read up on my instruction manual.”

OceanofPDF.com

Chapter 22

OceanofPDF.com

Ryan

“DID YOU HEAR back from Dr. Crawford yet? She said she’d call this afternoon to confirm she’d be here for the segment on early onset Alzheimer’s tonight, but you didn’t say anything.”

Jameson kissed me… Honest to God, shoved me up against the kitchen counter and kissed me until my brain melted out my ears. It’d been hours ago now, but I could still feel the press of his lips and scratch of his beard against my skin, and damn, I wanted to feel it again. 

“Ryan?”

“Huh? What?” I blinked and glanced at Alexander’s desk to see my boss eyeing me suspiciously. “Sorry, I missed that last part.”

“Uh huh.” Alexander leaned back in his seat, tapping his fingers on the arm of his chair. “You’ve missed more things today than you have in your entire time working for me. Do you want to tell me what’s going on?”

I was this close to saying, My roommate kissed me, and all I can think about is getting home so he can do it again. But that seemed like more information than Alexander would want to know. 

“Oh nothing, I’m just—”

“A million miles away?”

I grimaced and felt a pang of guilt at letting my personal life affect my professional one. “I’m sorry, I’m just a little distracted today. You now have my undivided attention.”

“You leave work in ten minutes.”

Oh, right. I bit down on my bottom lip—the same one Jameson had sucked—and immediately thought about how good his body had felt when he rubbed it up against mine.

What is he doing right now? Is he at home—our home—thinking about me?

“There you go again.” Alexander sat forward and tossed his pen on his desk. “What is going on with you? It’s like you’re off in la la land.”

More like fantasyland.

“Ryan?”

“Fine. But remember, you asked.”

Alexander’s eyes narrowed. “I’m going to regret this, aren’t I?”

“Probably.” But now that I had permission to tell him where my head was at, I wasn’t about to keep it to myself. I’d already texted Gabe and Jude with my monumental news, but it wasn’t the same as saying it out loud. “My roommate kissed me this morning.”

“Oh God, I’m already regretting this.”

“I told you. But too late, you asked, and yes…it was amazing.”

Alexander rolled his eyes. “I gathered that, since you’ve been off in the clouds, so to speak. This the same roommate you looked after at the beginning of the week?”

“Yes.”

“I see.”

I thought about the kiss again for the millionth time. “It was so hot.”

Alexander scoffed. “I can tell by the rosy cheeks.”

I cupped my face and grinned like a fool, because he was right—my cheeks were scorching hot. “Makes sense, right? Since he’s a fireman.”

“A fireman?”

“Mhmm. Remember the day you sent me down to get photos for your piece on Chicago’s first responders?”

“You hit on one of the fireman at station seventy-three? And he lives with you?”

Alexander knew a lot of the crew because his brother-in-law had been the lieutenant there. Shit.

“It’s Olsen, isn’t it?”

I screwed up my nose. “The lieutenant? No.” Though he was hot. “It’s Jameson. He’s new down there. It was the weirdest thing. I’d run into him a couple nights before at a pub, then I showed up at the station—”

“And now you live together and are…kissing?” 

“No. I mean, yes. I, uh, don’t really know?”

“You might want to narrow that down.”

“I’m trying to, but that’s why I’ve been all over the place today. I sent him a drunk text last night—”

“You sexted him.”

“Maybe?” I winced. “And this morning he kissed me, like really kissed me, and implied he wanted to do it again.”

“I see.” Alexander got up and made his way around to me. “Can I give you one piece of advice?”

I sat up straight, nodding, ready and willing to listen to anything he had to say. After all, he’d gotten Sean—his straight detective—to fall for him.

“Be careful messing around with the ones you live with.”

“Because it could end bad?”

Alexander smirked. “No, because they might not ever leave. Look at Sean.” He chuckled and headed for the door. “Try Dr. Crawford one more time, but then you’re good to go. Have a good night, Ryan.”

I TOOK IN a deep breath as I pushed the button of my elevator, then moved to the back and watched the numbers above the door light up.

One, two, three, four… And with every floor I passed, my heart beat a little faster. 

It’d taken everything I had not to text Jameson today just in case he’d changed his mind, or worse, I found out I’d imagined the whole thing. Instead, I’d chosen to live inside that perfect moment this morning, where everything went right and I floated around work all day. The time had come, however, where reality was about to reassert itself, and all I could hope was that it was half as good as the place I’d spent the day in.

When the elevator reached the tenth floor, my phone vibrated with a text from Gabe in the group thread I shared with him and Jude.

Good luck tonight, and if you need inspiration, just think, WWGD? LOL

Now that was the damn truth. Gabe didn’t have a shy bone in his body. When he saw something he wanted, he went after it, no holds barred, and as far as I could tell, it had gotten him everything he’d ever wanted.

Not a second later, a text from Jude popped up: Or better yet, just start taking your clothes off. 

Words of wisdom if ever I’d heard them. But I couldn’t help my smile as I headed down the hall. If it wasn’t for these two, I never would’ve sent that text last night, and Jameson never would’ve made the first move. Now all that was left to find out was if there’d be a second.

When I reached the door, I took another deep breath to steady myself. I pushed it open to find Jameson lounging back on one of the loveseats with his feet propped up on the ottoman.

He looked relaxed, sexy, and fresh from the shower. His dark hair was still damp where it was pushed back from his face, and he was wearing a pair of worn jeans and a black tee. He was the hottest thing I’d ever come home to. 

“Hey there, GQ.”

“Hi.” I ran my hand up and down the strap of my messenger bag for something to do, otherwise I might just run over there and grab him.

“Did you have a good day at work?”

My lips twitched, the question so small talk, so…not Jameson. “It was long. You?”

“My day was long too. You hungry?” 

“No.”

“Tired?”

“No.”

He put his feet on the floor and sat forward on the edge of the seat. “You gonna stand by the door all night?”

Without taking my eyes off him, I walked over to the coat rack and hung my bag, then I went to work on the buttons of my coat.

“Wait a second.” 

My hands froze. I turned to face Jameson, who crooked a finger at me. 

“Come over here.”

My cock jerked at the order. As I got closer, Jameson spread his legs. I could see the outline of his erection behind his jeans, and had to bite down on my lip to stop from moaning.

Not about to play coy, I moved between his legs, the spot I most wanted to be. Jameson said nothing as he slid the tip of his tongue along his lower lip, then he reached for the bottom button of my coat. 

One by one he began to unfasten the buttons until the lapels fell wide. “Take it off, GQ. I want to look at you.”

As I shrugged out of my coat, Jameson leaned back on the couch and rubbed his palm over his hard-on.

“You know, you aren’t the only one who’s been having dreams about this, us. That first night, I went home and tried to find a distraction to take my mind off you.” Jameson’s eyes roved over me. “I got on this app and looked around for a hookup who wore a suit just as well as you, and guess who I found?”

No. There was no way he meant—

“That’s right, I found your profile. The one with the half-naked suit shots. And I gotta tell you, I’ve been wanting to see that up close and personal ever since.” 

Damn. I reached for my tie to loosen it a little, and Jameson smirked.

“Sure you don’t want to unwind and have dinner first?”

The only thing I was hungry for was lounging back on my loveseat. “No. We had a deal.” Suddenly all I could think about was getting my hands on him. “You said when I got home tonight that I could touch you wherever I like.”

“And where do you like, GQ?”

Everywhere? But if I had to choose… I gestured to the zipper of his jeans. “You know what I want.” 

His smirk told me that he did. “Undo your tie.”

I slid the silk knot free, but as I went to pull it from my neck, Jameson shook his head. 

“No. Leave it hanging, just like the photo. Now the shirt. Pull it free and unbutton it.”

Shit, this was all kinds of hot. When I’d thought about what might happen tonight, I figured it would be hard and fast and over with before I could even catch my breath. But Jameson had flipped the script and slowed this all the way down.

I pulled my shirt free and slowly unbuttoned it. 

“Fuck, GQ. You weren’t supposed to look this good.”

Feeling more confident than ever, I reached for my belt buckle, but then stopped when I realized Jameson hadn’t moved. “Fair’s fair—undo your jeans.”

He chuckled but did as requested. When his tight black briefs came into view, I shut my eyes and told myself, Don’t come before you touch him. Don’t come before he touches you.

When I finally opened them again, his hand was inside his briefs and his eyes on my belt. 

“Your turn.”

I quickly unfastened the buckle, and in keeping with the theme of this little strip show, I left it in place as I unbuttoned and unzipped my pants.

“That’s it, right there. That’s the fucking photo.”

I knew exactly which image he was talking about. Gabe had taken it in an attempt to “get me out there,” and considering where I now found myself, I couldn’t help but think I might need to send him a gift basket. 

“I can’t tell you how many times I’ve looked at that photo.”

“Just looked?” 

“What do you think?” Jameson’s hand began to slowly move up and down under the tight fabric. “I promised myself I wouldn’t let this happen with you.”

Oh, screw that. “You promised you wouldn’t end up in my bed.”

Jameson opened his mouth as though he were about to argue, then smirked. “A technicality…”

“A pretty important one, as far as I’m concerned. You said nothing about letting this happen on my couch. So about this deal we made this morning…”

“I remember.”

“Good. Because I really want to touch you.”

“Fucking hell.” Jameson groaned. “I don’t know why I thought you’d be shy.”

I grinned as I ran my eyes down over him. “I don’t know either. But I can’t touch you if you’re wearing your jeans.”

“Are you asking me to take them off?”

“I’m asking you to please get them out of my way.” 

“Politely pushy…” Jameson removed his hand and then hooked his thumbs into either side of the denim, then he thrust his hips up off the couch and shoved his jeans and briefs down under his ass.

As his naked body came into view, I groaned, because wow—the picture he made was sexy. In his tight black tee and jeans pulled down to mid-thigh, his thick, luscious cock stood up erect and proud, as it should.

“GQ?”

My pulse was racing as I dragged my eyes up to his. “Yeah?”

“Get your fucking hands on me before I go crazy.”

Without a second thought, I climbed onto the couch and his lap, settling in so my knees were wedged onto either side of his hips. The position had me a little taller than he was, so once I was balanced on his thighs, I looked down between us. I could see his erection nestled up against the crotch of my pants. Before either one of us could decide this was a bad idea, I reached down and wrapped my hand around him.

“Ah hell.” Jameson’s head fell back on the couch as I tightened my grip and began to stroke. 

He smoothed his hands around my waist to my ass, and I felt his lips making their way down the side of my neck. I braced myself on the back of the couch with my other hand and angled my head to the side.

“Jameson.”

“Feels good, GQ. Real fuckin’ good.”

He continued to kiss and suck his way down to the open collar of my shirt as I worked him. When I brushed my thumb over the head of his cock, he thrust his hips up and cursed. 

Shit. Jameson was so damn hot, and when he dropped his head back on the couch and shut his eyes, I couldn’t resist. I bent down and slid my tongue across his lower lip, and Jameson growled. The sound vibrated through me, and a shiver of pleasure ran down my spine as he parted his lips and I slipped inside.

I rubbed my tongue up against his and moved my hand a little faster. His pre-cum was making a mess of my hand as I rocked above him, grinding down, and I could feel the same sticky mess inside my pants.

I wasn’t stopping, though. Jameson wasn’t the kind of guy who trusted easily, and now that I had him where I’d always wanted him, I wasn’t going anywhere until he finally gave in and let himself go. 

I nipped at his lower lip and sucked it into my mouth. His pupils were dilated with his arousal, and as I continued to move over the top of him, he slipped his hands inside the back of my pants to palm my naked ass.

“Ah…” I tore my mouth free then shifted back a fraction to look down, and saw a dark grey spot on my pants, making my own arousal evident.

“Come on, GQ. Finish us off.” 

I crushed my lips down onto his again as I tightened my fist and moved over the top of him. He groaned as though he was deep inside me and thrust his hips up off the couch. I tightened my legs around his hips so I could grind down on him even harder, then his body tensed and he ripped his mouth free. A loud curse left his lips as he slammed his eyes shut, then he exploded all over my hand.

He was the sexiest thing I’d ever seen in my life, and when his fingers flirted with the very place I wanted him most, I lost it. I bucked against him, using his body to create the final friction I needed, then I came in a hot, sticky rush all over my pants.

Jameson opened his eyes and gave a satisfied smirk. 

“What?”

He tugged me forward on his lap, and now that the fervor had settled, I squirmed at the mess between us. I soon forgot about it, though, when Jameson kissed along my jaw to my ear.

“That was fucking hot.”

I sighed, a delicious lethargy now taking me over as I settled into him. “Yeah, it was.”

Jameson ran his hand under my shirt. “There’s only one thing that could’ve made it hotter.”

“And what’s that?”

He chuckled and pressed a hard kiss to my lips. “Your suspenders.”

OceanofPDF.com

Chapter 23

OceanofPDF.com

Jameson

MY NECK WAS killing me and my left arm had gone numb when I opened my eyes the next morning and found myself on the loveseat with Ryan, who was stretched out alongside me.

Last night had been… Well, it’d been fucking amazing. After our make-out session on the couch, we’d ordered in and watched movies for the rest of the night. There could’ve been weirdness or some kind of expectation that things go further, but there was none of that. 

The two of us seemed to settle into one another in a way I’d never experienced before. Usually, I was an in-and-out kind of guy because whenever you lingered, things got awkward. But not with Ryan. 

We’d had a hell of a week between my being sick and his taking care of me, and after coming through that and getting his text, this was where we had landed, and for now, it felt right.

I closed my eyes and inhaled, taking in his delicious scent, and reminded myself to tread carefully. I wasn’t looking for a relationship here, and just because we’d had a good night, that didn’t mean things would stay that way. I knew what I was, and wasn’t, capable of giving. So for now I’d just play it cool, see what he wanted out of this, and, while I was at it, I’d try not to fuck this whole thing up. 

Ryan shifted on the couch, scooting his hips back into mine, and in the soft lounge pants he’d changed into, his tight ass might as well be naked. My erection throbbed inside my sweats as his sweet cheeks cradled me, and I rubbed myself up against him.

Ryan hummed as he buried his face into my arm, and I wrapped my other one around his waist.

“Good morning.”

“Mornin’.”

Ryan stretched his legs and back, then groaned. “Uh, this couch isn’t very comfy.”

I chuckled. “Agreed. I’m going to have a definite crick in my neck today.”

Ryan went to move, but I tightened my grip.

“Where’d you think you’re going?”

“I didn’t realize how uncomfortable you must be. Your arm has to be—”

“Numb? Yeah, but if the trade-off is your ass hugging my dick, I’m happy to let it stay that way.”

“Stop it. Let me move.”

As he started wriggling around, I grunted and shifted until I was on my back with my head on a pillow, and he was wedged between my legs. He placed his palms on my chest and rested his chin on the back of his hands to stare up at me.

“See, this is better. We’re comfortable, and now I can see you.”

I rocked my hips up into him, rubbing myself against his morning erection. “I don’t know if I’d call this comfortable.”

Ryan chuckled, his eyes sparkling with mischief. “No?” He leaned up and nuzzled into the scruff of my beard. “Maybe I could make us more comfortable?”

“I’m sure you could.” I trailed my hands down to his ass, giving it a firm squeeze. “But I have to go to work this morning.”

“Oh shit.” Ryan pushed up so he could look at me. “I forgot you work on the weekends.”

“Sometimes. This is one of those times.”

“This is why I need your schedule on the fridge,” he said as he climbed off me. “So I don’t start something we can’t finish.”

So we would be doing this again. Good to know. I sat up on the couch and looked up at him. In his lounge pants and shirt he was tempting as fuck, and the frown on his face only added to that. “Are you pouting?”

“No.” Ryan crossed his arms, giving me a clear view of his long, lean body and erection. 

I got to my feet and drew him in close to me. “Do you have plans tonight?”

“Not anymore, since you’re going to work.”

A smile slowly crossed my lips.

“You don’t have to look so happy about it.”

“I’m not happy. I was just thinking that yesterday you walked out for work leaving me hard as a rock, so I guess today it’s your turn.”

“I didn’t do that on purpose.”

“And I didn’t do this”—I ran my hand over the front of his pants—“on purpose either.”

Ryan softly moaned as he uncrossed his arms and reached down to press my hand harder against him. “But you’re gone for twenty-four hours. That’s forever. What am I going to do all day and night?”

“Nothing with this,” I said, and gave him a squeeze before letting him go. “I want that when I get home. Now, I need to go get ready.”

Ryan grumbled as I headed off into my room to change. When I walked back out to the kitchen, the smell of coffee filled the air. Ryan glanced over his shoulder from the open fridge. “Do you have time for breakfast?”

“Nah, I’ll grab something down at the station. I’ll just take a piece of fruit for now.”

Ryan closed the fridge and tossed an apple my way. I caught it and took a bite, then gave a nod.

“I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“I’ll be here.” 

I grabbed my jacket and made my way to the front door, but just as I opened it, I heard my name. 

“What is it, GQ?”

“I just wanted to say that I’m glad nothing’s weird between us this morning.”

Ah, so he’d been thinking that too. “Why would it be weird?”

“I don’t know, because of what we did.”

“You didn’t like what we did?”

He chuckled. “I’m pretty sure you know otherwise. It’s just…you always said we’d never…you know.”

I walked back over to him, grasped the back of his neck, and pressed a hard kiss to his lips. “Guess I was wrong.” 

Ryan touched his mouth with his fingertips and grinned. “I’m glad.”

I stared into his eyes and could see the truth of his words, and that was why I needed to tread carefully here. “Me too.”

“So now what?”

I knew what he was asking but didn’t have any answers right now. So I did what I do best—I deflected. 

“Now, I go to work.” I walked back to the door and winked. “See you tomorrow morning, GQ.”

“See you then.”

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Chapter 24

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Jameson

“HEY, CLARKE? YOU out here?”

I turned from where I was checking the nozzles and hydrant connection adaptors on the side of the truck to see Olsen. It was coming up to dinnertime, so I had a sneaking suspicion this was the usual invite, but tonight, I planned to beg off. 

We’d been slammed all day today, one call after another, and once I got through my checklist, I was going to wash up, grab the sub I’d ordered at lunch and never gotten to eat, then put my feet up for a few.

“What’s up, boss?” I shut the compartment door and turned to face Olsen.

“You nearly done out here?”

Here it comes. “Nah, it’s going to take a little longer than I expected. You guys should go ahead and eat without me.”

Olsen scoffed. “I’m not out here to invite you on a date, Clarke. You know the door’s open, and the guys want you there. Now it’s up to you to make an effort.”

Aaaand there was the guilt trip. He knew it too, judging by his smirk.

“I’m actually here to let you know I volunteered you for career day down at the local high school in a couple of weeks.”

Shit. High school kids? I didn’t know how to talk to high school kids. I’d barely made it through high school myself.

“Don’t look so happy about it. I thought it could be fun.” 

“Fun?” I scowled. “Was high school ever fun?”

“I liked it.”

I crossed my arms and eyed his grinning face. “Of course you did.”

“Don’t worry, I’m not going to send you on your own. Brumm’s going to go with you.”

“To talk to high schoolers?” I thought of Brumm’s loud mouth and my penchant to scowl. “You sure we’re the best option to represent CFD?”

“No. But you’re the most entertaining. Brumm will make them laugh, and you’ll make them pay attention.”

“How do you figure that?”

“You’re good-lookin’. The girls will love you and the guys will want to be you.”

My mouth fell open at Olsen’s matter-of-fact reasoning. 

“We used to send KB all the time. Worked like a charm.” He clapped me on the arm. “So, brush up on your talking skills. Get Ryan to help you—he works with the top news anchor in the country. If anyone knows a good speaker…”

Actually, that wasn’t such a bad idea.

“You should invite him down here sometime.”

“Who?”

Olsen chuckled. “Ryan.”

“He’s already been here.”

“Yeah, for work. You should bring him to meet the guys, you know, on a personal visit.”

“A personal visit?” I narrowed my eyes. “Why would I do that?”

“Oh, come on. You’re not fooling anyone. It’s obvious you two are getting closer. The guy looked after you when you couldn’t lift your head to answer your phone.”

“Yeah, because we’re friends.”

“Uh huh, well, I know how hard it is for you to make friends, so he’s obviously someone special.”

“You know, I never took you for a gossip, lieutenant.”

Olsen chuckled. “Oh, it’s lieutenant now. I’ve struck a nerve.”

“No nerve. I just know myself, that’s all, and I don’t really do relationships.”

“Why?”

“Just prefer to keep things simple. That way there’s no—”

“Expectations? You really should think about what I said the other day and try opening yourself up a little. You might even enjoy it and, I don’t know, have fun.”

I thought about that for a second. Olsen might have a point, and if I was going to let anyone in, it would be Ryan. But my track record with relationships usually ended in disaster, and that was always there in the back of my mind.

“Okay, Dr. Phil, are we done here?”

“Yeah, we’re done.” Olsen turned to head back inside. “Enjoy your dinner!”

After I’d finished up outside, I walked into the dorms to wind down for the evening. The truck was all in order for our next call, and I’d grabbed that sub and a pack of chips before heading to my bunk.

I propped a pillow up behind me and stretched out, trying to rest up before another call came through. I was halfway through my sandwich when my phone vibrated on the stand beside me. I glanced over to see who it was and scooped it up.

GQ: This is the longest Saturday night EVER. 

I chuckled and typed back: Here too. Day flew by, but it’s dragging now. 

I took a bite of my sub as I waited for Ryan to write back. 

At least you have the guys to talk to.

I looked around the empty dorm, and typed: Not with the guys right now.

No? Where are you?

I opened my chips and popped a couple in my mouth, then brushed off my hands and settled down in my bunk. I’m in my bed.

I stared at the screen, wondering how Ryan would respond, and a few minutes later, I got my answer. 

No you’re not, otherwise I’d be in there with you. I’m allowed to say that, btw. You only said MY bed was off-limits.

Fuck. I didn’t know why I’d assumed Ryan would be the shy type when it came to sex, but I’d been wrong. I’m curious… When did you think up that workaround?

The night you agreed to live with me.

Sneaky… So you had a plan all along, huh? 

To get in your bed? I mean, it was more a hopeful dream…

I chuckled and found myself looking at the time. Jesus, I still had a little over twelve hours until I could head home. Ryan was right—this was the longest night ever.

I was about to tell him that maybe we could work on making his dream a reality, but before I could type out the words, the alarms began to blare throughout the station. 

I shoved my food on the side table and got to my feet. Gotta go. Work. Then I tossed my phone on the bed and booked it to the app bay. 

Dreams would have to wait. Right now reality was calling, and she waited for no one.

THE SUN WAS deceptive as I walked out to my bike the next morning. There was a bitter chill in the air that felt like snow was coming. I unfastened my helmet from the back of my bike and saw Brumm wave from across the lot. I waved back, climbed on, pulled out of the station’s parking lot, and settled in and enjoyed the ride. 

Last night had been pretty quiet, which I wouldn’t complain about, but it had given me nothing but time to think about Ryan.

It was strange. I didn’t usually look forward to seeing anyone ever. I’d had too many disappointments in my life to feel I could rely on someone to stick around. But as I turned into our apartment building’s garage, I found myself looking forward to seeing Ryan.

As I made my way down the hall to our apartment, I thought about all the reasons I shouldn’t do this. But I shoved them aside, knowing nothing other than Ryan saying no was going to stop me from having him this morning.

When I opened the door, the first thing I noticed was how quiet it was. It was just a little past nine, and I wasn’t sure why, but I’d expected to see Ryan up and about. He was nowhere to be seen. Maybe he’d decided to go out after all.

I shrugged out of my jacket and tossed it over the arm of the loveseat, and when I walked past the coffee table and spotted his keys, I was happy to realize he was definitely home. 

With the bathroom door slightly ajar, I knew he wasn’t in there, so the only place that left was his room. I started down the hall, but when I got to his door, I spotted a note.

You said you wouldn’t end up in my bed, so I decided to sleep somewhere else. Come find me. I’ll be waiting.

Fuck. My dick throbbed as I turned. When I stepped back in the living room, I spotted it: a tie hanging over the handle of my shut bedroom door. I’d completely missed that. But all I could think was that I sure hoped Ryan liked my bed, because I wasn’t letting him out of it anytime soon.

OceanofPDF.com

Chapter 25

OceanofPDF.com

Ryan

THIS WAS A gamble. One I’d been second-guessing all night. But when I crawled into Jameson’s bed this morning, I’d decided it was now or never to really put myself out there. After all, what better way to get his attention than being in his bed when he got home, right? So that was exactly where I was when I heard the front door open and close at around nine a.m.

I glanced down at myself a final time, making sure everything was the way I wanted it for maximum impact, then listened carefully as Jameson’s boots made their way across the living room and faded in the distance. 

He was looking for me. My cock hardened and a smile crossed my face, as I realized I’d been right on the money. 

After our night together on the couch and the flirty texts back and forth, I’d hoped—no, prayed—that Jameson wouldn’t change his mind. He’d seemed interested in more, but with him, you never knew. One minute he was smiling, and the next minute, not so much. So I’d gambled. 

I placed one foot on the comforter and lounged back against his headboard. The door slowly opened. 

He was still dressed in his work uniform. I drank in the blue pants and shirt that molded to Jameson’s fit body. 

It’s now or never… “Good morning.”

Jameson said nothing, his gaze traveling up over my black suit pants, which I’d left undone to show a peek of the briefs beneath. Then he zeroed in on the only other thing I wore, the extra-special accessory I’d added for him this morning. I hooked my thumbs behind my suspenders and stroked.

“It is now. You get lost, GQ?”

I ran my thumb up the narrow strip of material. “No. Just thought I’d test out this room, this bed. You know, since you’re so adamant about only sleeping here.”

“That has nothing to do with sleeping. So if that’s why you’re here, you really should get out of my bed.”

“Is that what you want?”

Jameson drew his shirt over his head and tossed it on the floor. “What do you think?”

What did I think? I was lucky I could think anything with him standing there naked from the waist up. Yes, I’d seen him this way before, but that had been different. He’d been sick, and I was able to detach myself so I could look after him.

There was no detaching here. No compartmentalizing. This time I got to look at him the way I wanted, and he looked unbelievable. 

I’d known Jameson was built—he had to be, considering the job he did—but wow. Every single muscle was so well defined. From his arms, to his pecs, to the ridges of his tight abdomen. It made me want to tongue every groove I could see, and then go looking for more. 

He had a smattering of short, dark hair across his chest that tapered down the center of his body. Jameson flicked open the button of his pants, toed off his boots, and reached for his zipper. As he pushed the material from his hips, I sucked in a breath. Any thoughts in my head vanished.

Jesus, he was sexy. The black briefs outlined his erection, giving me a glimpse of what I’d had my hand wrapped around last night. With as hard and long as he was, the material barely covered him.

“GQ?”

“Hmm?” I dragged my eyes up to his.

“Get over here.”

I got to my knees and moved to the end of the bed. Jameson reached out and, just like that night in the bar, slipped his finger under one of my suspenders.

“These are so fucking hot.” As he stroked up and down the material, I reached into my pants to palm myself. “So pretentious and uptight. They make me want mess you the fuck up.”

I sucked in a deep breath as the flames in Jameson’s eyes licked over my skin. “So mess me up.”

“You sure about that?”

Damn right I was. “You told me that first night that I was too soft for you.” I took Jameson’s hand and drew it down to my open pants. “There’s nothing soft about me now.”

Jameson’s jaw twitched as he curled his fingers around me, and I moaned at the toe-curling pleasure of finally having his hands on me. 

“Be sure, GQ.”

I pressed my hand over the top of his and rocked my hips forward. “I’m sure. I want this. I want you.”

A flash of desire lit Jameson’s eyes, then he gripped the back of my neck and took my mouth in a blistering kiss. He shoved his tongue between my lips as though it belonged there. 

His fingers tightened around my hard-on as he destroyed my mouth, and I slid my hands around his waist to slip them inside the back of his briefs. When my fingers came into contact with his naked skin, Jameson groaned.

I squeezed his ass, and using him as an anchor I began to roll my hips forward, then Jameson whispered against my lips, “Stand up on the bed.”

My breathing was coming fast now, my body on high alert. I quickly moved to my feet. In this position my open pants and covered erection were front and center, and Jameson licked his lips as he drew me to the edge of the bed.

With only inches between us now, he leaned forward, drew his tongue up the taut skin of my abdomen, and flicked the tip across my navel. I moaned and threaded my fingers through his hair, as he ran his hands around to the front of my pants and parted the material. 

“You look so fucking sexy.” He ran a finger along the underside of my erection, making a guttural sound that caused a shiver of anticipation to race down my spine. Then he hooked his fingers in the elastic of my briefs and drew them down. 

As my erection sprang free, I tightened my grip in his hair. 

“There was a line in that text you sent me the other night.” He wrapped his hand around my cock and angled it toward his mouth. “Let me see if I remember it right: ‘Damn, Jameson, I’d just about die to feel you suck on my dick.’”

Oh shit… 

I swallowed as he swiped his thumb over the head of my shaft, then he looked up at me and winked.

“Don’t die, okay?” Jameson lowered his head and sucked me between his lips, and as the warm wet heat of his mouth surrounded me, a moan of ecstasy left me.

I’d dreamed about this moment since the first time we’d met. I’d come home, lain in bed, and imagined how it would feel to have his lips sucking me instead of scowling at me. But there was no need to imagine anymore. Not when Jameson’s mouth was swallowing me, creating a suction unlike anything I’d ever felt. 

I twisted my fingers in his hair as he ran his hands around to my ass, then he drew his lips up my length before lowering his head back down. 

“Damn. That feels… It feels so damn good, Jameson.” The air was cool on my ultra-sensitive skin as he again withdrew, his cheeks hollowing out as he dragged his lips to my tip. Then he stroked his fist up my wet cock as he flicked his tongue across the head.

A sexy hum came from his throat, as he aimed his eyes up at me and smirked. “Of course you taste as good as you smell.”

I grunted and bumped my hips forward, tempting him to take another taste. He swirled his tongue around me then took me to the back of his throat.

My curse filled the air, the sensation almost too much to take, as Jameson curled his fingers around the straps of my suspenders. When I looked down to see his head moving up and down on me, I lost it.

My head fell back as I began to pump in and out of his mouth, the sounds filling the room like something from one of my dirtiest dreams. My moans mingled with the grunting and sucking coming from the man hellbent on destroying me.

My legs shook, and I could feel my orgasm threatening as I quickened my pace in and out of his mouth. 

“Jameson… I’m close,” I said, looking down at him. But he didn’t seem to hear, or care, because he took me so deep that I felt his nose bump up against me. 

That was all it took. My orgasm exploded all over his tongue in a hot rush I had no control over.

As my breathing calmed, Jameson slowly drew his lips free, then he flicked open the clips holding my suspenders in place and watched as the straps fell down my arms.

I gently slid my fingers through his hair, then Jameson picked me up off the bed, making me gasp. 

I wound my arms around his neck and my legs around his waist, and he carried me to the side of his bed and tossed me down on it. Then he ran his eyes down my thoroughly disheveled state and grinned. 

“So, you still alive, GQ?”

OceanofPDF.com

Chapter 26

OceanofPDF.com

Jameson

I WAS RIGHT: Ryan tasted as good as he looked, and now that I’d had a sample, I knew there was no going back. 

I stared down at him and wondered why I ever thought I’d be able to resist him. His thick brown hair was tousled, his cheeks were flushed from his orgasm, and the picture his body made right now had me palming my hard cock.

With his suspenders gone, Ryan’s naked torso was on full display. He was more toned than built, his body like a swimmer’s, long, lean, and smooth. It made me want to run my tongue over every single inch of him, including the seven or eight I’d just had in my mouth.

His pants were halfway down his ass now, his briefs under his balls, and his delicious dick was stiffening again under my intense once-over.

“So, you still alive, GQ?” 

“Mmm.” Ryan sighed and wrapped a hand around himself. “I don’t know. Maybe you should come down here and see if I’m still breathing.”

“That’s not a bad idea, but first I need to…” I turned to my nightstand to get what we needed and spotted a condom and bottle of lube that didn’t belong to me. I picked up the bottle. “You came prepared.”

“It was that or risk not coming at all.” A cheeky grin curved his full lips. “At least, not with you inside me.”

Fuck. I wasn’t sure why—maybe it was the suits and the sweet disposition—but the bold way he just said what he wanted turned me on. He wasn’t shy about asking for it, either, and hell if I wouldn’t give it to him.

I picked up the condom and looked down at him. “Just the one, huh?”

“There’s more in my room.” 

I shoved my briefs off, freeing my aching erection. “There’s a box in my nightstand too. Good thing.” I tore open the wrapper and rolled it on. “’Cause once I get inside you, I have a feeling I’m gonna want to do it over and over again.”

“Yes…” Ryan licked his lips and pumped his hips off the bed.

As much as I wanted to draw this out, I didn’t have it in me to wait. Judging by the greedy way Ryan was eyeing my cock, he didn’t want to either. I uncapped the lube and poured some into my palm, and Ryan held his hand out to me. 

I poured some into his hand, then said, “Roll over. Move up on the bed.”

Ryan’s eyes darkened as he stroked himself a couple times, then he rolled over and moved up to his hands and knees. I hooked my fingers into his remaining clothing and slowly removed them from his body. 

Jesus, if I’d thought he looked good sprawled out half-naked on his back, that was nothing compared to seeing him on all fours with his clothes bunched at his knees. He looked like something straight out of every filthy fantasy I’d ever had.

“I’ve thought about this so many times. You better fucking brace yourself.”

Ryan’s fingers curled into the covers as I climbed on the bed behind him and stroked my slippery fingers down the cleft of his ass. 

Ryan’s cheeks flexed. “Ah,” he sighed as I stroked the pad of my thumb over his entrance. Then he rocked back a little, letting me know he wanted more. I massaged his tight little hole several times over, teasing and tormenting him. “Jameson, please…”

I gently pushed one of my fingers into him, then added a second. I made sure he was nice and stretched, slipping my fingers in and out of him until I found that sweet spot that made him curse. 

Ryan reached for his dick and gave it a rough stroke as he shoved back into me.

I pulled my fingers free and stroked him again with my thumb, applying pressure while I made sure he was ready to take me. I got my answer when he looked back over his shoulder and eyed my stiff dick.

“I’m ready.”

I spread his round cheeks and lined myself up, and Ryan planted both hands on the mattress. I slowly guided the head of my cock to his waiting hole, and as I pushed past that first barrier, a loud moan echoed throughout the room. 

“Fuckin’ hell you’re tight.” I could see the muscles in Ryan’s arms tense as I eased my way inside and leaned down to press a kiss between his shoulder blades. “Relax, GQ. Let me in.”

Ryan took a deep breath and shifted back onto me, his ass swallowing me all the way inside.

“Take me. I want to feel you take me.”

I shifted and ran a hand down his spine. Then I took hold of his hips and slowly began to withdraw. The erotic feel of his body clinging to mine as I pulled out of him made me grit my teeth. Just as the tip was about to slip free, I dug my fingers into his hips and pushed back inside.

“Yes,” Ryan said as I braced my knees and began to move in and out of him. “Yes, yes, yes…”

I started slow, letting him get used to my body. But that wouldn’t last long. He felt too good, and I was too desperate for him. When he reached under himself to start stroking his dick, I took that as my cue to pick up the pace. 

I began to thrust my hips back and forth. The sounds of his breathing and my thighs slapping the back of his were a hot soundtrack to an already scorching scene. Ryan cried out and arched up into me, and I let go of his waist to wrap an arm around his shoulders. As I thrust deep inside, I pulled him up to his knees, then Ryan turned his head, and I took his lips in a savage kiss.

I bit and sucked before plunging my tongue inside, then began to thrust into him in fast, hard jabs. His moans were muffled by my mouth as he frantically worked his cock, and when he ripped his mouth free for air, I began to kiss my way down his neck. 

“You weren’t supposed to feel this good,” I said, panting. “Or taste this fucking sweet…”

Ryan’s head fell back on my shoulder, and I reached around to take over from his busy hand. I began to work him from both sides as he fell forward to his palms.

I curled my body around the back of his, my hips and hand moving in tandem, as I kissed and sucked the skin of his shoulder. Ryan moved down to his forearms, his fingers curling into my duvet, tilting his ass up in just the right position for me to get in nice and deep. 

He was breathing hard now, panting and moaning as he used the bed to push back on me, and the sight of his body enveloping my dick made my balls tighten. I gripped his hips, hard enough that I’d probably leave marks, then I drilled into him like there was no tomorrow.

Ryan frantically stroked in time with each punch of my hips, and when he tensed and clawed at the duvet, it was like a detonator switch had been flipped.

I shoved in hard, and he shouted out my name, and as his ass tightened around me like a vise, he came on a rush that had me exploding inside him in a brain-destroying orgasm.

Fuck. Me. 

I’d known the attraction between us was strong. That was why I’d been fighting it so hard. But now that I’d given in, now that I’d crossed that line, I wasn’t sure I could ever go back. 

As I slowly pulled free, Ryan sighed and rolled to his back. He looked sexy, relaxed, and one hundred percent satisfied. 

“I should get lost more often if this is what happens.”

“How about you only get lost in this apartment?” 

“Hmm.” He kicked off his remaining pieces of clothing at his ankles. “I don’t know. What’s my incentive?”

I walked to my door, about to go and dispose of the condom, then stopped and looked back at him.

“That when I wake back up, we’ll do this all over again.”

OceanofPDF.com

Chapter 27

OceanofPDF.com

Ryan

“HOW DO YOU feel about going for a ride this afternoon?”

I handed Jameson a cup of coffee, then took the seat beside him and tucked my legs up under my butt.

We’d spent the most amazing morning in his bed, where I’d fallen asleep for a couple of hours, only to be woken up by kisses and a hot body that worked me out until I fell right back to sleep again.

It’d been my dream day so far, and now he wanted to continue it?

“A ride? On your bike?”

Jameson nodded, and it took everything I had not to kiss him. I wasn’t quite sure if we were there yet, in the place where I could just kiss him whenever I felt like it, so for now, I kept my lips to myself.

“Yeah. I usually like to take it out on my days off. Helps me unwind.”

“I’d love to. When did you want to go?”

He eyed my mug and shrugged. “As soon as we finish.”

“Perfect.” I got to my feet, and Jameson looked up at me with a frown.

“Where are you going?”

“Well, I can’t wear this.”

He ran his eyes down my t-shirt and grey sweats. “That’s a shame. You wear it so well.”

“Come on, they’re sweatpants.”

“Yeah, and they mold to all the parts of you I want to get my hands on.”

I glanced down my body to where the soft material outlined my prominent bulge. “That’s only because you’re looking at me.”

“Which makes me like them even more.”

I bit down on my lip as I held Jameson’s gaze, and when he groaned and said, “Go and get fucking changed,” I had to force myself to leave him.

A couple minutes later, I was back in the kitchen dressed much more appropriately for an afternoon ride. I rinsed off my mug and opened the dishwasher to stack it, smiling when I saw Jameson’s mug inside.

He was a great roommate. There were no wet towels on the floor, no clothes thrown all over the place, and, best of all, no dirty dishes left in the sink.

I’d known that renting to him was a smart idea. He had to bunk with others every day at work. It made sense he would keep a clean house.

“You ready to go?”

I turned to see Jameson stepping out of his room in boots, jeans, and a long-sleeved crew neck, and my heart pounded a little faster. He was so striking with his dark features and that light pullover that it was difficult to think. When I thought about the fact that I’d spent the morning in his bed, I almost pinched myself to make sure this wasn’t a dream.

“Yep. Ready.”

He looked me over. “Do you have a jacket?”

“A sports jacket?”

Jameson scoffed and shook his head. “No. Wait here a second.”

He disappeared inside his room and a couple seconds later reappeared wearing a hooded leather jacket. Then he held his usual one out to me.

“Here, you can wear this.”

I had to resist the urge to snatch it up and bury my nose in it. “But that’s your favorite.”

“I’ve got this one. You can’t ride on the back of my bike in a sports jacket, and you definitely can’t do it in that fancy woolen thing you wear.”

“It’s a peacoat, and it’s not that fancy.” I took the jacket from him and ran my thumb over the supple leather. “It’s not even a name brand.”

“Uh huh. Well, it looks fancy. So this afternoon you’re just gonna have to level down a little.”

“This is not leveling down.” I frowned, hating that he might think that was what I thought of him.

“Relax, GQ. I just meant your fashion standards. But this’ll keep you warm and safe in case of an accident. It protects your body against road rash.”

“What a lovely thought.” I slipped it on, and the delicious scent of Jameson’s cologne on the collar swirled all around me.

“Okay, one last thing.” He reached into my jacket’s pocket and pulled out a black scarf. “The wind will be cold while we’re riding, and by the time we come back, the temperature will have dropped even more.”

He unfolded the scarf and then reached out to hook it around the back of my neck. Then he tugged me forward and kissed me.

Wow, okay, I guess we are in a place where we can just kiss each other.

“There, now you’re ready.”

To conquer the world. At least, that was how it felt as we walked out the door and headed to the parking garage.

HOW I’D LIVED this long without riding on a motorcycle was beyond me—because I loved it. The adrenaline, the speed, the rush of the wind against my body as Jameson gunned it up the highway. It was unreal, just like that first night he’d taken me out. He weaved us through the traffic and back into downtown, and I didn’t know or care where we were going as long as he kept riding.

Jameson headed up a main road and then down several side streets, and I realized I’d been here before, that night Jude and I came to the pub. He made another couple of turns, and we crossed under the L, then he slowed the bike as we approached a large corner lot with a chain-link fence. As he pulled up along the side, I saw a sign that read: NO TRESPASSERS.

Jameson brought the bike to a stop and flipped up his visor, then he climbed off. “Wait here.”

Considering I had no idea where I was and no way to get home, that was easy. I watched closely as Jameson pulled something out of his pocket and—oh my God—picked the padlock on the fence.

My jaw fell open as he pulled the chain free of the gate, then he opened it up enough for us to get inside.

“Um, what are we doing here?”

Jameson pulled his helmet off and smirked. “You look worried, GQ. Afraid I brought you somewhere to do nefarious things to your body?”

I wish. But no, I was more concerned that the owner of this place would bust out and shoot us for being on his property.

“I’m just wondering who— Did you just pick that padlock?”

“I did.”

“That’s illegal.”

“I know. But I’ve been picking that padlock since I was a kid. The owner hasn’t arrested me yet, so I think we’re good.”

“You think?”

Jameson climbed back on the bike as if that explained everything, then rode slowly through the gate. I looked around to see what exactly this place was, but there were no signs, no mailboxes, just an abandoned corner building. Please don’t let a guard dog coming running around that corner.

Jameson killed the engine and put the lock back in place, and I climbed off the bike and took hold of his arm. “Where are we?”

“Really, GQ, I’m starting to think you don’t trust me.”

I narrowed my eyes, but when Jameson held out his hand, any apprehension I might’ve had disappeared.

The floorboards creaked underfoot as we walked into the building. When I hesitated, Jameson glanced back over his shoulder. “It’s safe, I promise.”

Deep down, I already knew that. There was no way Jameson would put me in danger. He was a fireman, for God’s sake.

We moved farther inside, and as I scanned the interior, I noticed the place was completely gutted. No furniture, no indication of what might’ve been here when the building first went up, just broken windows with dusty frames.

“What is this place?”

Jameson led me to a set of stairs. “It used to be an old corner store with an ice cream shop. There were apartments upstairs, but that’s not where we’re going.”

“It’s not?”

“Nope.” His fingers tightened around mine. “Come with me.”

We walked up four flights of steps, and when we reached a door with the word EXIT, Jameson pushed it open and moved aside.

“We’re going out on the roof? Are you sure?”

Jameson chuckled but nodded, and I stepped into the chilly air. When he took my hand again and led me to the opposite side of the building, my breath caught as a spectacular view of downtown came into view.

“Jameson, it’s beautiful up here.”

“I know.” He gestured to two lawn chairs and a couple of crates that were flipped over as footstools. “Sit with me?”

I smiled and took the closest chair. “The view up here is phenomenal. I never would’ve guessed.”

Jameson stared out at the buildings surrounding us and nodded. “Unexpected, huh?”

I took a moment to study his strong profile. Yes, you’re completely unexpected.

“Simon and I used to sneak up here when we were teenagers—got caught a couple times, too.”

“Simon…” My heart all but stopped at the mention of that name. I knew that for Jameson this subject was difficult. I didn’t want to pry, but if he wanted to talk, I was ready to listen.

“Yeah, he was a permanent at one of the shelters Amy and I were in and out of, and we all kind of just clicked. We used to run around those streets down there looking for trouble. This up here was our version of a treehouse, I guess.”

My eyes blurred at his comparison to my own childhood, and I was glad that he wasn’t looking my way, because I was unable to stop the emotions welling up inside of me. This was big—he was trusting me with his past, sharing something so deeply personal.

“You two were close, then? Even before you joined the CFD?”

Jameson nodded. “Like brothers. We always looked out for each other…”

His words trailed off, and when his jaw bunched, I knew he was thinking back to the day he’d lost Simon.

“We didn’t have a whole lot growing up, but Jon, down at the bar, his dad owned this store. He used to give us free ice cream and wouldn’t kick our asses if he caught us up here on the roof. He kept us out of trouble, then Jon did. This building belongs to him now, but I have a feeling he’ll sell it soon.”

“He didn’t want to keep the business?”

“Nah, it was never for him, and some developer will go crazy for this lot. He’s just waiting for the right offer and to not care so much.”

As silence fell between us and I processed all I’d just learned, I looked down to the neighborhood Jameson had grown up in and tried to imagine him as a young boy. There were several streets of old homes, some still in good condition but others not so much, and I wondered which one of those he had grown up in.

Farther out from the streets were commercial buildings and the beginnings of downtown, and off in the distance were the high rises that made up the city skyline.

I loved Chicago, I always had, but I was starting to realize there was a whole side of it that I didn’t really know—kind of like the man beside me.

Jameson rarely opened up about himself. Every time I asked questions in an attempt to get to know him better, he’d always found some way to deflect. So the fact that he’d brought me here and shared what he had meant the world to me. It felt as though he was letting me in.

I could hear the rumble of the L off in the distance somewhere, and looked around, half expecting it to come barreling by.

“It’s behind us.”

“Huh?”

“The train,” Jameson said. “It’s behind us. But this spot was always about what was in front of me.”

For a crazy second, I thought he meant me. He’d brought me here, and I was in front of him. But then he turned back to the view of the city, and I realized I was probably reading more into his words than he meant.

“Freedom,” he said, his voice soft. “That’s what was out there. A place to become someone new. Someone better.”

I reached out and took his hand.

“I did a pretty shit job of that.”

“No, you didn’t.” I squeezed Jameson’s hand and turned in my chair. “Listen to me. I’m not going to pry or push you to talk about something you don’t want to talk about. But you need to understand that you are a good person. You made a wonderful life for yourself. You work for the CFD. You’re one of the most important people in this city. There aren’t too many people out there who sign up to risk their lives every day to save a stranger’s. You did. You should be proud of yourself.”

Jameson shook his head. “That just pays the bills. You have a very rose-tinted view of me.”

Maybe I did. But Jameson had a distorted view of himself, and it was time to show him what I and others saw.

“I see you just fine, and I disagree. I think you’re too hard on yourself. You saved me that night when you didn’t want to or have to.”

He smirked and finally looked at me. “I saved you because you were hot, and for a minute I thought about taking you home to my bed.”

“Just a minute?” My pulse skipped.

“Obviously not.”

“Well, either way, you still did it, and I’m glad you did.”

“Me too.”

The sincerity in his eyes made me catch my breath, and my heart began to thump a little harder. Jameson was trusting me, showing me the parts of himself that he kept under lock and key, and I wanted to believe that meant he was after more than just one night. But the only way I was going to know was to ask him.

“Jameson?”

“Hmm?”

“Can I ask you something?” I didn’t wait for a response, however, not wanting to lose my nerve. “Is this—you and me—is this just a one-time thing to you?”

He laced his fingers through mine and squeezed. “Is that what you want?”

“No.” I shook my head. “That’s not what I want at all, but…”

“But?”

“You’ve been so adamant about not getting together that I’m not sure what this is to you.”

Jameson let out a sigh and brushed his thumb across my cheek. “I don’t know either. But I can’t seem to stop thinking about you, and that never happens to me. I want you, and now that I’ve had you, I’m not sure I can just stop. Can we leave it at that for now?”

I was more than happy to leave it at that. I smiled and nodded as we got to our feet.

“I’m not good at this kind of thing, GQ. Don’t expect too much, okay?”

“Okay. But only if you don’t expect so little.” I leaned in to ghost a kiss across his lips, and a fat snowflake fell on my cheek.

I grinned and looked up to the sky as several more fell and caught in my lashes. Then I began to laugh and brush the flakes from his dark hair.

“The first snowfall. I love the first snowfall.”

Jameson took my chin and pressed a kiss to my lips that was so sweet it made everything inside me hum.

I melted into his embrace and couldn’t help but think he was much better at this than he gave himself credit for—and now all I had to do was prove it to him.

OceanofPDF.com

Chapter 28

OceanofPDF.com

Jameson

I STARED UP at the towering glass building that my GPS had led me to and wondered if I’d made a huge mistake. Earlier this morning I’d told Ryan to text me if he wanted to grab some lunch, and when he messaged back that he could be free around one and told me the address, I’d agreed to come and meet him.

But as I stood in front of the enormous building that took up nearly an entire corner block, I started to have second thoughts. I glanced down at my jeans and flannel that hung open over my white tee, and wondered if they’d even let me in the building.

There was only one way to find out. With my jacket in hand, I headed through the doors and to the front desk where Ryan had told me I needed to sign in. I gave my name and waited for them to verify I was on some kind of special list. Then I was given a visitor pass and ushered through a metal detector where I could access the elevators.

When I stepped inside, I glanced at the floor number Ryan had given me and pushed the button. The doors opened and I was face to face with an enormous poster of Ryan’s boss—Alexander Thorne.

Okay, I’m in.

The hall split off in both directions, and just as I was about to text him and ask which way to go, I heard my name. I turned to see Ryan standing just outside a set of double glass doors. He smiled, and everything inside me instantly calmed.

“Hey there, GQ.” I made my way over to him, making sure to take a nice, long look at him all dressed and pressed for work. It was difficult not to pull him in and take his mouth in a greedy kiss.

“Hey, you found me. I hope they didn’t give you any problems downstairs.”

I held up my visitor badge. “No problem. Seems that let any sort of riffraff in here. You good to go, or…”

“I just have to send off one quick email. Is that all right? It won’t take long.”

“It’s all good. I’m not in a rush.”

“Thanks.” Ryan pulled open one of the doors and gestured inside. “So come on in. I’ll show you around.”

I followed him inside and came to an abrupt halt as I took in the wide-open floor full of people on computers and phones, and some running all over the place. It reminded me of the station when the alarms went off. As Ryan weaved us through the many desks, I wondered how anyone could hear anything over the constant noise.

“This is the newsroom, where all the stories come in and are researched and fact-checked and, well, put through the wringer before they’re presented to Alexander over there”—he pointed around me—“in the war room.”

“You mean it’s always like this?”

“Like what?”

I noticed a couple of people look up from their computers as Ryan and I walked by, but when he didn’t stop, I kept on following.

“Loud. It’s loud in here.”

Ryan grinned. “Sometimes. Usually when the world’s coming to an end.”

“So that’s happening right now?”

“This is just a normal day.” He chuckled, rounded a desk off to the side of all the mayhem, and took a seat. “I’ll just be a minute. I really wanted you to meet Alexander, but he was called away to a meeting.”

Meet Alexander Thorne? I was glad Ryan had left that little piece of information out when he texted me, because I would’ve begged off for sure. I didn’t know how to talk to someone like that. Just being around all of these suits and ties was foreign enough. Places like this always made me feel…awkward.

“Maybe next time,” Ryan said as he got to his feet. “Okay, let’s go.”

I turned, about to head back in the direction we’d come, and almost ran into a blonde woman who was smiling so wide it looked like it was about to slide off her face.

“Hi, I’m Stephanie,” she said, aiming that smile over my shoulder to Ryan. “And who might you be?”

Ryan took my hand before I had a chance to shake hers, then stepped around me. “None of your business who he is, Stephanie. Don’t you have some work to do?”

Ryan tugged on my hand. I sidestepped Stephanie, and she laughed.

“Aw, come on, Ry. I’m a journalist. I had to ask.”

“You’re a gossip,” he said over his shoulder.

“And so are you…usually.”

I arched a brow at Ryan, who continued to tow me out of the room. We got to the elevator and stepped inside, and he pushed the lobby button and waited for the doors to close.

“Sorry about that. I know you don’t like strangers all up in your business.”

So that had been for my benefit. That was cute. I tugged on Ryan’s hand and pulled him into my arms, where I finally took the kiss I’d been wanting to give him.

“I just thought you were embarrassed.”

Ryan frowned. “Embarrassed about what?”

“Going to lunch with me. I don’t exactly belong in places like this.”

“Says who?” Ryan kissed along my jaw to my ear. “You look hot as hell, and I’m not embarrassed at all about going to lunch with you.”

“You might be if you don’t stop what you’re doing. I’ve got to walk out of this elevator, remember?”

Ryan grinned and turned just as we reached the lobby, and then rubbed his ass all up on me. “And now you have a good excuse to stick close.”

I chuckled as we stepped out. Even if I didn’t have a reason, I would’ve kept him close, because suddenly the idea of him not being near felt wrong.

“HOW ABOUT THIS place?”

I looked at the glass windows of the little café Ryan had stopped outside of and saw several tables and booths open inside. On the window closest to us in gold script read: Coffee, Baked Goods, Soups, and Sandwiches.

“Yeah, looks good to me.” I opened the door and held it wide.

“Why thank you.”

“You’re welcome.”

As he walked ahead of me, I took in his tall, regal frame. I’d always thought he had a classically handsome look about him, and dressed in his suit and tie, that had never been more obvious.

We were seated at one of the booths in the back of the café, and when the waitress left to get our drinks, Ryan handed me a menu.

“Lunch is on me today,” I said.

He flipped his menu open and shook his head. “You don’t have to do that.”

“I know I don’t have to. But this is the first time we’ve been out since pizza, and it’s my turn.”

Ryan looked as though he were about to argue and then laughed. “Oh my God, you’re right. That seems like forever ago.”

“It does.” I opened my menu and looked over the sandwich list. “But it doesn’t change the fact that I owe you a date.”

When Ryan didn’t say anything, I glanced up to see him looking at me with a smile.

“What?”

“That was a date?”

“Huh?”

“The pizza night. You said you owe me a date. Is that what that was?”

Shit. “I just meant you paid that night, so I owe you.”

“Uh huh.” Ryan’s grin turned smug as he leaned across the table. “You liked me even back then, didn’t you?”

“Of course I liked you. I agreed to live with you.”

“Nooo.” Ryan’s eyes twinkled. “I mean you liked me, liked me.”

I shrugged and sat back in my seat. “Yeah, you were growing on me.”

“Oh, stop with the flattery or my head will get too big.”

He rolled his eyes, and I couldn’t help my laugh, but before I could respond, the waitress stopped by our table.

“Hi there, welcome to Deb’s. What can I get for you today?”

I gestured to Ryan, who ordered the cup of soup and a half-sandwich. I put in my order for the French dip, and when she was gone, I settled back in my seat and stretched my legs out. When they bumped into Ryan’s under the table, I was about to pull them back, but he hooked his around mine.

“This is nice,” he said. “We’ll have to do it more often.”

“Agreed. I think we passed about twenty restaurants on our way here, so it’s not like we’ll run out of options anytime soon.”

“And that was just two blocks.”

“Right. Downtown’s crazy. I don’t know if I could work in one of these buildings like you do day in and day out. There’s so many people.”

“What do you mean? You work in the city every day. Sometimes running into these buildings with all these people.”

“I know, but once the job is done, we go back to the station, where there’s eight to twelve people max. That’s about as much peopling as I can do on a regular basis, and even then it’s a stretch.”

“You know, I don’t find that difficult to believe at all.”

“Yeah, I tend to do better on my own.”

Ryan stroked the tip of his shoe up the back of my calf, and my dick jerked. “That’s not true. You do well with me.”

“Which is a little weird, I’m not gonna lie.”

“Why? Is it so shocking to think that you might enjoy hanging around someone like me?”

“No. It’s shocking that you enjoy hanging around someone like me.”

Just then, the waitress appeared with our food, but if I thought Ryan would let that be the end of that conversation, I was wrong.

“Okay, we’ll play this your way. Why wouldn’t I be interested in someone like you?”

“Um, let’s see. I met you in a dive bar, and a couple days later was evicted from my place, and I’ve been a grumpy shit for about seventy-five percent of the time I’ve known you.”

“I’d say more like eighty, but you’re making up for that now.”

I scoffed. “See, I have so much to give.”

“Oh please, forget all of that. I’m not thinking about it. I mean, except the night at the bar—that was hot. All I care about now is that when we’re together, I feel more alive than I have in years. That ride yesterday afternoon was one of the best dates—and yes, it was a date—that I’ve ever been on. When you’re not busy thinking about the fact that you’re opening up and getting close to someone, you shine. You don’t even realize it.”

I had no idea how to respond to that, because ever since Simon died, I’d shut myself off from the world. I’d used my past and his death as reasons to push others away.

Ryan reached across the table and put his hand over mine. “I know you have your reasons for keeping people at a distance, but if you ever decide to let someone in, I’m here.”

I sighed. “I’m trying.”

“I know.” He sat back in his seat and picked up his spoon, then scooped up some soup and blew on it before taking the first sip.

I dunked my French dip into the au jus and took a bite, the delicious flavors hitting my tongue and making me realize how hungry I was.

“So, I have a question for you.”

Ryan looked at me and swallowed his bite of sandwich. “Ask away.”

“How did you get into this job? Personal assistant to Alexander Thorne? I can’t imagine your plan was that specific when you were young.”

He chuckled and reached for his water. “No? And I suppose yours was.”

“To be a firefighter, uh, yeah. Simon and I got into a program for kids to keep us out of trouble, and that was the end of that.”

“That makes sense. For me, it was what was I good at? And how could I put it to use in a job? I love to organize and look after people, so a PA seemed like a no-brainer. Alexander came years later. You have to have experience to apply to work for someone like him.”

“Because he’s famous?”

Ryan laughed. “Well, yes, but because he’s so damn busy. He has an insane schedule that requires constant supervision and organization or his head would explode. I basically keep his work life in order and make sure he gets home in time to his husband. It might sound silly to some, but—”

“Now who’s talking down about himself?”

“Touché. It’s just some people don’t understand that I like spending my days organizing someone else’s life. I learned that when I was young.”

“You did?”

“Yeah, my brother was really sick growing up, and it put a lot of strain on the family. I had to grow up really fast and help out a lot when one of my parents needed a breather. The unknown really can be worse than the known sometimes, and we had to band together to get through it.”

“I’m sorry. I had no idea about your brother. Is he…”

“Okay? Yeah. He’s great.” Ryan’s eyes filled with joy and his whole face lit up. “He has Crohn’s disease, and every now and then it messes with him and he gives us all a heart attack, but at least we know what we’re dealing with now, and he can usually get it under control pretty quick.”

“Sounds like a tough childhood.”

“It wasn’t easy, but there are kids way worse off than I was. My family pulled together and rallied. I was lucky.”

“Yeah.” I thought about my parents and how they’d been more interested in scoring their next hit than raising children, and how in the end their bad habits and poor decisions led one of us down the same path. “I’m glad everything ended up okay. It makes sense that you got into a job where you look after others. You’re great at it. Hell, you took excellent care of me, and I wasn’t even paying you.”

“You’re right.” Ryan chuckled. “Maybe I should make you pay up now, since you’re better.”

He probably should. He’d been amazing when I was sick, attentive and caring, for a stranger who’d been nothing but a grumpy bastard from the moment we met. So maybe it was time for me to pay up and let him know how much I appreciated his help that weekend.

I popped the last bite of sandwich into my mouth and smirked. “Maybe you should.”

He grinned and settled back into his seat, and as we finished off our meal, I realized there was no one I’d rather spend my day off with than Ryan Carrigan.

OceanofPDF.com

Chapter 29

OceanofPDF.com

Ryan

“WE NEED TO get together and catch up soon. I have so much to tell you. Call me back or text me.” I could barely contain my excitement as I ended my voicemail to Jude and stepped out into the cool night air.

My afternoon had flown by, and I’d barely had a chance to think about my amazing lunch date today, but the second I left work and got in the elevator, every single part of it came rushing back in.

Jameson had taken me on a date. Not just dinner with his roommate, a full-on he-paid-for-and-kissed-me-at-the-end-of-it date. If I hadn’t been there, I probably wouldn’t believe it. But I was, and it was real, and I was so happy I felt as though I could float home.

Between the first time Jameson kissed me and today at lunch, the difference in him was night and day. He was the king of keeping people at a distance—he’d said so himself. But the more time we spent together, the more he let me in, and I could feel myself beginning to fall.

I’d tried not to get ahead of myself, knowing it was too soon, but it was difficult not to think about tomorrows when my heart felt close to bursting every time he walked in the door.

But I needed to slow it down. I needed to keep my cool. Because if Jameson caught even an inkling of what I was feeling, he’d probably run for the hills.

He wanted to take things slow. He wanted no labels. But one thing he did want was me. I just had to show him how it could be. How we could be.

As I pulled into my parking spot, my phone began to ring. I cut the engine and picked up.

“Hey, Mom, how are you?”

“I’m doing well, darling. How are you?”

“Good, good, just working hard. You know how it is.”

“I do. I watch your man every night on the news.”

I laughed and shook my head, because no matter how many times I told Mom that Alexander wasn’t my man, she insisted on wording it that way, and I had a feeling that one day it would come back to bite me in the ass.

“How are Dad and Eric? I was going to call him but got caught up.” That was the truth. After talking to Jameson about my family, I’d had a sudden urge to chat with them all, but work got in the way.

“We’re good, and Eric’s fine. I was talking to him just last night. He seems well.”

“Good. That’s good.”

“I know. It’s been a while since we’ve seen the both of you, but that’s why I’m calling. He’s coming to town next month for my birthday, and we’re going to celebrate.”

“As you should.” It was my mom’s sixtieth, and I couldn’t wait to see them all.

“Well, I thought it best to embrace it than resist.”

“Why should you resist? You look no older than forty.”

“Oh hush. I taught you better than to tell fibs like that.”

I chuckled. “So you did. Do you need help organizing this fancy shindig of yours?”

“No. Your father has organized the entire thing. He told me all I had to do was let you know in advance, since you’re the one whose schedule is always the busiest.”

I felt a pang of guilt over that, but she was right. I’d skipped out on important dinners and holiday get-togethers in the past because of work. But there was no way I was missing this. Your mother only turned sixty once. Forty, maybe twice. But sixty? Definitely only once.

“Your birthday falls on a Saturday, right? So is it that whole weekend?”

“That’s what I’m told. Friday night arrival and Sunday night departure.”

“Okay, and the rest of the details are…?”

“A surprise.” She laughed. “I assume your father will be in contact with all the details. I just wanted to call and make you sure you were doing okay, and also tell you to save the date.”

“Consider it saved. I can’t wait.”

“Us either. Take care of yourself, young man.”

“Will do, Mom. I love you.”

“Love you too.”

I ended the call and headed upstairs, my mood bright as I thought about asking Jameson to come with me to my mom’s party. Would he think it too much? And was thinking about the two of us that far in advance bad luck? The last thing I wanted to do was jinx us.

I unlocked the door, and when I stepped inside, a haze of smoke filled the air, making my eyes sting. I could smell burning of some kind, and the fire alarm went off.

Oh my God, the apartment was on fire.

“Jameson!” I called out as I dumped my bag and pulled my coat over my nose. “Jameson? Are you in here? Are you okay?”

My heart began to pound as I moved farther into the apartment, trying to see where the fire was. Then Jameson walked out of the hallway with a hand towel and a frown on his face.

“Oh hey, GQ.” He gave a tight smile and pulled out a barstool, calm as you please, as though the blaring sound of the smoke detector wasn’t deafening.

“Are you okay? Where’s the fire?”

“No fire,” Jameson said as he climbed on the stool, waving the towel beneath the smoke detector, and then he reached up to press the silence button. When the room finally fell silent, the ringing continued in my ears.

“No fire?” I looked at him, confused. “Then where did all this smoke come from?”

Jameson smirked and pointed to the oven, where I could see a saucepan. “Your dinner. Or, at least, what was going to be your dinner.”

When the smoke had somewhat dissipated, Jameson climbed down from the stool and glanced at the ceiling he’d just been fanning.

“Well, at least my attempt at cooking wasn’t a complete waste of time. Now I know your smoke detectors are all up to date and work.”

My lips twitched as I stepped around him and walked to the stove. I peered into the pan, which now held two charred pieces of meat. “What were these?”

“Rib-eyes. But clearly they’re charred-eyes now. I hate electric stoves,” Jameson grumbled.

I bit into my lip to keep from laughing, then turned back to the stove and poked at the meat with the fork lying beside it. He’d been cooking me dinner—or at least attempting to—and that was about the sweetest thing anyone had ever done for me.

“We could still eat these. They’re just…well done, that’s all.”

Jameson came over and looked in the pan. “I appreciate the gesture, but how about we just order in?”

I reached for his hand and turned him to face me. “Thank you.”

“For not making you eat that? You’re welcome. I don’t want to eat it either.”

“No.” I laughed and wrapped my arms around his waist. “For making me dinner. That was very nice of you.”

“It would’ve been nicer if I hadn’t almost burned your place down.”

“Our place, and I wasn’t too worried, considering your day job. Just maybe don’t quit it for a cooking one.”

Jameson swatted me on the ass with the hand towel and took my lips in a kiss that left me breathless. “What do you feel like for dinner? And don’t say nothing.”

“Hmm, well, despite it being burnt, the steak does smell good.”

“Seriously?”

“Yeah. Unless you don’t want that.”

“A steak sounds great, obviously. Is there anywhere around here that you like in particular?”

“Have you ever been to Exquisite?”

Jameson arched a brow. “Do I look like someone who would eat at a place called that?”

“You never know. I didn’t want to assume.”

“Trust me, your assumptions about me going to a fancy-ass restaurant are probably spot on.”

I chuckled and pulled out my phone. “You know, you remind me a lot of Alexander’s husband.”

“Really?” Jameson looked as though he didn’t believe me for a second.

“Yep. Sean. He’s a detective with the CPD, and very…”

I trailed off, and Jameson crossed his arms. “Very what?”

Damn it. I hadn’t really thought this through, and now that I was saying it out loud, I wasn’t sure if Jameson would be offended.

“You know, like…” I grimaced. “Rough around the edges.”

Jameson’s eyes narrowed.

“Not in a bad way. I love Sean. Not like that, obviously.”

“I don’t know, GQ. Doesn’t seem too obvious to me.”

Was he kidding? I couldn’t actually tell. Jameson had the best poker face around.

“I mean, when he came to work as Alexander’s bodyguard, I might’ve had a little bit of a crush on him. But that was forever ago, and because he was all gruff and protective, like you. He wasn’t into fancy things either.”

“Uh huh.”

Shit, this was not going well. “I just… Apparently I have a type, and you’re it.”

“Gruff, rough-around-the-edges guys.”

I let out a sigh of exasperation and put my hands on my hips. “Sure, or maybe we could just call it sexy, frustrating grumps and leave it at that.”

When Jameson’s lips twitched and he started to laugh, I arched a brow.

“Calm down, GQ. No need to get so worked up about things.”

“Calm down?” I shoved him in the arm. “I thought I’d offended you.”

“By calling me rough around the edges?” Jameson shook his head. “Trust me, I’ve been called worse.”

“I can’t imagine why. But anyway, I think you and Sean would get along well.”

Jameson wound an arm around my waist, then slid his hand under my jacket to cup my ass. “Do I need to worry about this Sean guy?”

Wait, is that a glimpse of jealousy for real this time?

“Doubtful. He’s married to Alexander.”

“So? You’re super fucking sexy, and if I heard you had a crush on me, it’d be damn near impossible for me to resist you.”

I slid my hands under Jameson’s shirt. “I do have a crush on you.”

“Exactly, and was I able to resist?”

I trailed my fingertips back down to his jeans. “No. I’m kind of hoping that continues.”

Jameson kissed the corner of my mouth. “I don’t see it stopping anytime soon.”

“Then I guess Sean’s just out of luck, then, huh?”

Jameson growled, picked me up off my feet, then headed toward his bedroom. “You want dinner now or later?”

“Later,” I said with a laugh. “Much, much later.”

OceanofPDF.com

Chapter 30

OceanofPDF.com

Jameson

“IF YOU’RE GOING to shower with me, you need to wake up, GQ.”

Ryan groaned and stretched beneath the covers as I nuzzled in under his ear and began to kiss my way down his neck.

“I don’t wanna.”

“Wake up or shower with me?”

He wriggled his tight ass back into my morning erection, making me groan.

“What do you think?”

I chuckled and wrapped an arm around his waist, reaching down to stroke his stiffening dick. “I think you’re bluffing, because you sure feel awake to me.”

Ryan arched back into me, pushing his hips forward, seeking out the friction he wanted most.

“If this is what you want, you need to get up and in the shower, or we’ll both be late.”

“Can’t we just stay here?” Ryan turned his head. “I could lie forever next to you.”

The second the words left him, Ryan tensed and quickly rolled over.

“I’m sorry, I—”

“Why are you sorry?”

“I said that without thinking, and…”

He looked down to the bed covers he was fiddling with, and I hated seeing him look so on edge, like he’d just committed some kind of crime because he’d said what he was feeling. I’d made him feel like he couldn’t be honest, and that wasn’t fair.

“Hey.”

Ryan bit his lip but didn’t look up, so I tipped his chin up.

“You don’t have to apologize to me for anything. You were just saying how you feel.”

Twin spots of color appeared on Ryan’s cheeks. “I know, but I don’t want you to feel like I’m rushing you into anything or planning out the rest of your life, because I’m not.”

“You’re not?”

“No. I was just—”

“I’m kidding, GQ. Relax.” I kissed him. “I like being here with you too.”

He shyly smiled. “You do?”

“Mhmm, and if we didn’t have to go to work today, I just might convince you to stay here.”

“There’s always tomorrow night.”

“It’s a date.” I ran my fingers down his jaw and moved in to kiss him a little harder. “For conversation and kisses in the dark.”

“I’d like that.” Ryan took my hand and pressed a kiss to my palm, and my chest tightened.

“Good. But right now, I’ve gotta get ready or Olsen will have my ass.”

“He better not,” Ryan said, and pinched one of my cheeks as I climbed out of bed.

“Shower, now.” I grabbed his hand and pulled him to his feet. “And if you’re lucky, I’ll scrub your back.”

HOW WE MANAGED to shower and get ready in time to walk out the door, I had no idea. But as I grabbed the traveler’s mug Ryan had just filled with coffee, I saw him walking out of the hall straightening his tie.

“Looking good, GQ.”

“Thanks. I’m shocked we’re not running late.”

“Me too, but I need to get going.”

“I’m about to leave too. I have to pick up a couple things for Alexander before I head in.”

We grabbed our coats and jackets and headed out the door, and as we made our way toward the elevator, Ryan reached for my hand.

I’d thought it would be difficult getting used to having such intimate contact again with someone, but with Ryan I’d slipped right into it. I couldn’t remember the last relationship I’d been in, but it felt nice to want to be around someone. I enjoyed having him near.

I pressed the button on the elevator and pulled him in close. He wound his arms around my neck, and I nuzzled into the crook of his shoulder.

“Jesus, you always smell so damn good. I need to keep you close.”

Ryan rubbed his cheek along my beard and purred. “Feel free to get this close anytime you like.”

I nipped at his ear, but just as I was about to steal a kiss, the elevator dinged. I reluctantly pulled away. “After you.”

Ryan trailed his fingers across my stomach as he stepped inside, then his phone rang. “Oh shit.” He grimaced. “It’s Alexander. Sorry.”

“No problem.” I rested against the back wall and took the time to look him over. In a light grey suit and a royal-blue tie, Ryan looked sharp and sophisticated this morning, a business professional through and through. He was the exact opposite to me in every way, but I was finding myself more and more attracted to this look.

“Good morning, sir. You’re up early.” Ryan listened to Alexander and nodded. Then he looked at me and smirked.

Huh, what’s that all about?

“Yes, I can move your morning appointment to later this afternoon, and we could fit it in then.”

He listened some more, nodding as though Alexander could see.

“I can definitely do that. Of course.”

The elevator reached the parking garage, and as we went to step out, Ryan stopped in his tracks.

“Really? You wouldn’t mind?”

I assumed by his megawatt grin that the answer to whatever question had just been asked was no, he didn’t mind at all.

“I would love to, and I’ll be in ASAP.” He paused and frowned. “You don’t want breakfast?”

We headed toward Ryan’s car, and he chuckled.

“Sean’s a good man. Okay, I’ll see you in a few.” As he hung up and we reached our vehicles, Ryan turned to me. “Guess what?”

I unstrapped my helmet. “What?”

“Looks like Alexander spoke to your chief and is going down to the station today for the interviews on Chicago’s finest.”

“That’s cool.”

“It is, and even cooler?” Ryan practically bounced on his toes. “He said I could come too.”

“I’m assuming that makes you happy?”

“Well, of course I’m happy to visit a fire station. I love firemen. But to visit yours is an added bonus.”

I cocked my head to the side. “You love firemen, huh? How come I’m just finding out about this now?”

Ryan opened his mouth to respond, and when nothing came out, he quickly shut it again. As he floundered trying to think of a response that wouldn’t get him in trouble, I stepped forward and backed him up to his car.

“Should I be worried about you around my crew today? Do I need to keep an eye on you?”

Ryan placed his hands on my chest and licked his lips. “Definitely. You should definitely keep your eyes and maybe your hands on me. You know, just to make sure I don’t do anything I shouldn’t.”

“Uh huh. Why do I get the feeling that if I keep my hands on you that’ll happen anyway?”

“’Cause you’re smart.” Ryan nipped at my lower lip. “And you know exactly how to use your hands.”

“How the hell am I supposed to stay away from you when you talk like that?”

“You’re not.” Ryan winked and pushed me away so he could get in his car. “Suddenly my day just got a whole lot better. I’ll see you later.”

I nodded and pulled on my helmet. “Apparently you will. See you then, GQ.”

OceanofPDF.com

Chapter 31

OceanofPDF.com

Ryan

“YOU SEEM EXTRA exuberant this morning. That wouldn’t happen to be because we’re heading down to you fireman’s station, would it?”

I smiled at Alexander, who sat in the back of the company’s Cadillac with me, and shrugged. “Maybe?”

Alexander nodded as he scrolled through his phone. “I see. So the whole inappropriate text situation worked out in your favor?”

“Let’s just say I might print it out and frame the thing. Maybe I could give it to Jameson for our anniversary or something.”

“Really?” Alexander looked up at me. “I assume he decided to kiss you again after all, then?”

“You could say that.”

“And you two are together now?”

“Well, we’re still in the beginning of everything.” I could feel my face flush, and Alexander chuckled.

“Oh yes, I remember that place.”

“Right, but things are going really well. I don’t want to rush him or scare him off, but he seems to want the same things I do.”

At least, I thought he did. All I had to do now was be patient and wait for him to want to make this “official.”

Alexander’s eyes narrowed a fraction as he turned off his phone. “He said that to you? That he wants the same things?”

“Yeah.” And while I would’ve preferred Jameson say he wanted to be my boyfriend, I figured we’d get there eventually.

“Good. I’m glad you’re both on the same page. It always makes things less complicated when you know where the other person stands.”

“I totally agree.” We’d definitely been on the same page these last couple of days.

As our driver pulled into the fire station and I spotted Jameson’s motorcycle, my chest tightened. I couldn’t wait to see him again, and had a ridiculous urge to jump out of the car and go find him.

“Okay,” Alexander said with a smirk, and for a second it felt as though he could read my mind. “Let’s go and find the lieutenant.”

We headed inside the station, and I scanned every room and hall we passed in the hopes of spotting Jameson. When I didn’t, my heart sank.

Maybe he was out on a call? Or some kind of grocery run? I knew I should’ve texted him.

“Xander!”

We turned to see Lieutenant Olsen walking down the hall toward us with a wide smile, running a hand through his short, damp hair. It looked as though he’d just stepped out of the shower and was all cleaned up for his interview in a fresh uniform.

“Lieutenant Olsen,” Alexander said. “Well, look at you.”

“I know. What yahoo left and put me in charge?”

“The same yahoo who tells me he’s finally worked out how to make shrimp and grits for his new crew.”

Olsen chuckled. “That sounds like Kieran, keeping the natives happy.”

“Them and his fiancé, according to all the selfies Bash sends our way. With this cold weather starting to move in, I’m thinking we should all pack up and head south. Bash’s place would fit us.”

“Definitely. Let’s do it.”

Alexander turned to me. “Lieutenant Olsen, this is Ryan Carrigan, my PA. He was down here with the camera crew taking footage for us.”

Olsen nodded, and his smile turned a little smug. “Yeah, that’s right. I believe we’ve spoken on the phone before, Mr. Carrigan. When you nursed Clarke back to health.”

My neck and face flushed under their attention. “Yes, that was me.”

“I’ve been looking forward to meeting you. It seems we missed each other the last time.” We shook hands, and he grinned, turning back to Alexander. “The chief took the truck off duty for the time you’re here, so we shouldn’t be interrupted.”

“We shouldn’t be too long at all,” Alexander said.

“Perfect. Then why don’t we head this way?”

We followed Olsen down the hall and into the conference room where fate had brought Jameson and I together again, but this time he was nowhere in sight. Damn it.

Once we were settled, I headed out to help the camera crew bring in their things and finish setting up the lighting, and when we were done, I took a seat in the back of the room.

Alexander knew his questions and talking points without any kind of aid; I was just here for prompts or if any kind of emergency popped up.

When everything was ready to go, Alexander came over, and I wondered if we’d forgotten something.

“Something up, boss?”

“He’s in the gym.”

I frowned, and Alexander smiled.

“Your fireman is in the gym. We’re good here. Phil and Stuart have it under control. So if you want to go and say hello…”

Seriously? He was going to let me go and find Jameson?

“You know,” Alexander said, lips twitching, “Olsen tells me this Jameson guy doesn’t let too many people in. That he’s a pretty tough nut to crack.”

That didn’t surprise me. Jameson wasn’t exactly the outgoing type, and he’d told me countless times that he preferred to keep to himself. I glanced over Alexander’s shoulder to Olsen, then looked back to my boss.

“He’s just quiet, private, that’s all.”

Alexander nodded. “And there’s nothing wrong with that. Just be careful, okay?”

I knew it was the journalist in Alexander that made him question everything, but he didn’t have to worry about this. I trusted Jameson. I knew who he was.

“I will be. Are you sure you don’t mind me leaving for a few?”

“Nope. I’m sure I can survive on my own for a little bit.”

“Well, not on your own.” I grinned and got to my feet. “Phil and Stuart are here.”

“Get out of here before I change my mind.”

I laughed and disappeared out the door, then realized I had no idea where the gym was. I passed by several rooms, and when I spotted a few guys sitting in the kitchen area, I decided my best bet was to just ask.

I pushed inside, and when everyone looked up, I suddenly felt as though there was a spotlight on me.

“Uh, hi. I’m Ryan.” When no one said anything, just stared, I said, “I’m with ENN, and we’re doing an interview with your lieutenant.” What that had to do with me tracking down Jameson, I had no idea. But it seemed more professional than asking where my hot roommate was. “Anyway, I was looking for the gym. Could one of you please point me in the right direction?”

A big, burly guy with red hair got to his feet, and for a second I almost told him not to worry—until he grinned.

“Ryan, you said?”

“Yeah, uh, that’s right.”

“I’m Brumm, and this is Lee and Davis. You said you’re looking for the gym?” He strolled over to me, and I got the feeling I was missing something, until he said, “You wouldn’t happen to be the same Ryan who’s roommates with Clarke, would ya?”

How did he know that? Maybe Olsen had mentioned it when Jameson was sick. Knowing how private Jameson was about everything, I wasn’t sure what he would he want me telling this guy.

“Yes, that’s me. Your lieutenant said Jameson is in the gym?”

“Come with me. I’ll take you there.”

He led me through the firehouse, and I wondered if I’d said something I shouldn’t.

I ran through the conversation in my head and couldn’t think of anything in particular, then ordered myself to stop worrying. It wasn’t like I was keeping any secrets.

We came to a shut door, and Brumm shoved it open. The view that greeted me banished every other thought from my mind.

Jameson was flat on his back with his legs spread on either side of a bench, and if that wasn’t enough to make my cock happy, his sweaty, naked torso was. There was a guy standing behind him, clearly spotting him.

Holy shit.

“Yo, Clarke, you got a visitor.”

Jameson lifted his head off the bench, and when his eyes locked on mine, a sinful smile curved his lips.

“Hey there, GQ.”

Oh. My. God.

Was it hot in here? Or was it just me?

“Hi.”

Jameson sat up, and all of his stomach muscles rippled in a way that made me want to run my tongue all over them.

Brumm leaned against the doorframe and crossed his arms. “Roommate, huh?”

Jameson didn’t look away from me as he said, “Get lost, Brumm.”

“Aw, come on, Clarke. Don’t be like that.”

“Get very lost, and take Isaacs with you.”

I’d been wondering earlier what exactly these guys knew about mine and Jameson’s situation. If they hadn’t known we were more than roommates before, they definitely did now.

Brumm and Isaacs left the room and shut the door behind them. When Jameson got to his feet, I ran my eyes down over his body. He had on black gym shorts that sat low on his hips.

“How’s your morning going, GQ?”

Amazing now, I wanted to say, but my words got stuck somewhere in the back of my throat as Jameson walked me backward until I hit the wall.

“You’re lookin’ good.”

My breathing was coming hard as I racked my brain in an attempt to form a coherent sentence.

“You look sweaty.”

Jameson chuckled, and the sound was so goddamn sexy that I put my hands on the wall behind me in an effort to stay on my feet and not attack him.

“Do you like that?”

“Oh my God.” I squeezed my eyes shut. “So much you should probably move away from me.”

His lips began to move up my jaw line. “Why would I want to do that?”

My chest heaved as he continued up to my ear. “Because you’re at work, and so am I, and it would be inappropriate for me to rip your clothes off.”

Jameson raised his head, and the scorching fire flickering in his eyes threatened to consume me. “That’s a shame.”

“You’re telling me. You look…” I swallowed. “You look so damn hot.”

Jameson’s lips twitched. “Well, if you’re not going to rip my clothes off, I guess I’ll have to settle for this.”

He took my lips in a fierce kiss. I dug my fingers into the wall behind me and sucked on the tongue dominating me. His scent filled my head as he plundered my mouth, and had we been anywhere but where we were, my hands would’ve been all over him. As it was, I thought I might leave holes in the wall with how difficult it was to keep them to myself.

Jameson bit at my lower lip and when he kissed me again, and I finally gave in and moved a hand to his chest.

His skin was hot and sexy beyond anything I’d ever imagined, but just as I was about to get myself into a whole world of trouble, there was a knock on the door and then it was pushed open.

Jameson immediately stopped, and then a throat was cleared.

Shit.

“I’m sorry to interrupt, but I was looking for my PA,” Alexander said.

Jameson took a step back, and flames flooded my face as I saw the evidence of his arousal behind his loose shorts. There was no way Alexander could miss that.

“It seems that you found him.”

Oh God, kill me now.

“You must be Jameson. Ryan’s…roommate.” Alexander held his hand out as though Jameson wasn’t standing there half-naked and fully hard. “I’m Alexander.”

“Yeah, uh, I know who you are.” Jameson, apparently not fazed at all by what we’d just been caught doing, shook Alexander’s hand. “Ryan talks about you all the time.”

My boss’s eyes shifted to me and twinkled. “Does he? I’d be surprised if he even remembered my name right now.”

I willed my brain to work, and when I finally managed to locate a few words, I said, “I’m sorry I was gone so long.”

“Are you?”

Clearly not, but I wasn’t saying that.

“Yes, um…” I smoothed a hand down my tie for something to do other than grab Jameson again. “I was just about to head back.”

“Yes, that’s very obvious. You’re such a diligent worker.”

I was never going to live this down. And when Alexander winked at me and turned back to Jameson, I panicked.

“I’m actually glad I ran into the two of you. There’s a charity event coming up this weekend, and ENN has been invited. I’d love for you to come with Ryan.”

What? I didn’t know about any charity event, and even if I had, it wasn’t really Jameson’s scene. Alexander was up to something, and if he wasn’t my boss, I might’ve kicked him.

Jameson looked at me, and I tried my best not to look mortified at the position Alexander had just put him in.

“Sure.” He nodded and turned back to Alexander. “Thanks for the invite.”

“Of course. I look forward to seeing you there. Ryan? Five minutes and I’ll see you in the conference room.”

I nodded, hoping that would be the end of that. When Alexander left and shut the door, I let out a deep breath. “I’m so sorry.”

Jameson frowned. “Why? I’m the one who attacked you.”

“Yeah, but now you’re stuck coming to this event with me, and I know it’s not your thing. I swear I didn’t know anything about it until just now.”

“It’s just a dinner. How bad can it be?”

Not bad at all, in my opinion. But I knew Jameson, and this was not his kind of thing. “You’re right, and if you don’t want to go—”

“GQ? I said I’d go with you, so I’ll go.”

Ah, so he was doing this for me. I had to admit, I kind of liked that. It would be nice to finally show up at one of these work events with a plus-one. So if he was willing to sit through a fancy dinner party for me, I wouldn’t stop him.

I trailed my finger along the waist of his shorts and ghosted a kiss across his lips. “Do you think you could be wearing these when I get home tomorrow night?”

Jameson chuckled and nipped at my lower lip. “Yeah, I think that could be arranged.”

“Good,” I said as I opened the door and took one final look. “I’ll see you then.”

OceanofPDF.com

Chapter 32

OceanofPDF.com

Jameson

I TUGGED ON my bow tie for the millionth time as I stepped out of Ryan’s car and shut the door behind me.

Tonight was the night of the charity event Alexander had more or less railroaded me into, and when I’d found out it was being held at the Peninsula Hotel, I realized the mistake I’d made in accepting. This wasn’t just some small dinner with a few guests who would donate a couple of bucks. It was a full-on black-tie event, and when I found out the scope of the thing, I’d almost cancelled.

It wasn’t that I didn’t want to be here with Ryan, more that I never fit in when it came to things like this. The clothes, the people, the money that was on display always made me feel uncomfortable. I looked at the other guests arriving at the valet and knew this had been a bad idea.

“Everything okay?” Ryan asked for what had to be the tenth time since we’d left the apartment. He was obviously picking up on my mood and vibe, and I was doing a piss-poor job of hiding it.

“All good. Just not used to this penguin suit, that’s all.” It wasn’t a lie, but it wasn’t the whole truth either. Sure, the tux and bow tie felt completely foreign, but this kind of venue felt like an entirely different planet.

Ryan stroked his hand down the lapel of my rented tux. “Well, you look very dashing, and it’s just for a couple of hours, then I’ll tear you out of it. Deal?”

“Yeah, okay, deal.” I took his hand, knowing I needed to at least try tonight for him. He’d given me plenty of opportunities this week to back out of this, but every time I was tempted, I’d looked into his eyes and realized that what he really wanted was for me to be here. So I wasn’t about to beg off now.

I squeezed his hand and then looked over at the front entrance of the hotel. “Come on. Let’s get this over and done with.”

Ryan chuckled as we made our way toward the revolving door. “Now there’s the giving attitude.”

I supposed he was right, but I wasn’t the one giving anything. ENN had paid a pretty penny for the tables tonight. “You know what I mean.”

When we reached the revolving door, I let go of Ryan’s hand so he could go first. Each section was wide enough for two, but these things always made me wary.

Once we were inside, Ryan handed over his invitation and was given a program in return, then we were escorted to an elevator.

“This place is pretty wow, isn’t it?” Ryan grinned as he flipped open the glossy brochure he’d just been handed.

The words Future’s Hope jumped off the page, and my heart just about stopped.

“I mean, even the elevators are out of this world. It was just voted one of the top ten five-star hotels in Chicago for the third year in a row.”

I knew Ryan was talking, but suddenly all my attention was focused on the brochure in his hand.

Future’s Hope? No… There’s no way I read that right.

I’d assumed tonight was going to be for a children’s wing of a hospital or something, where big companies and millions of dollars were involved. Not a local community-based charity, and especially not one so familiar, so…close to home.

When the elevator reached our floor and we stepped out into an enormous hallway, I saw a floor-to-ceiling banner advertising tonight’s event, and my feet came to a grinding halt.

“Jameson?”

My stomach twisted as I stared at the banner. If I’d thought this was a bad idea when I was just out of my element, it now felt like some horrible kind of trap that I was about to walk into.

What the hell was going on? Had Alexander looked me up? Had he been sniffing around in my past, trying to find out if I was good enough for Ryan? He was a journalist, after all.

“Jameson, is everything okay?”

No, it fucking wasn’t. My past was colliding with my reality, and I would’ve done just about anything for the floor of this fancy hotel to open up and swallow me whole.

“Are you still worried about the tux?” Ryan reached out to straighten the bow tie. “Because there’s no need. I told you, it fits you like it was made for you. You look very handsome.”

I didn’t know how to respond to him with everything that was going through my head, so I plastered on my best smile and told myself to pull it together. It was one night. How bad could it be?

We walked through the double doors of the grand ballroom, and the main floor opened up before us. We were immediately hit with large windows that overlooked jaw-dropping views of Chicago’s shiny skyline.

It made my view from the old corner store look like some old, faded photograph.

“Wow. This place is unbelievable.” Ryan walked in ahead of me, looking up at the twinkling chandeliers that hung throughout the room. But I was too busy trying not to be overwhelmed by the sheer amount of people packed inside.

There were tables and chairs wrapped in cream linens with gold accents, and the dinner and glassware sparkled under the lights.

As Ryan soaked in the opulence of the room, my palms began to sweat. What was it about rich folk and giving money away? It was like they had to be seduced into the deed by throwing the most extravagant event to ever exist. Wouldn’t it just make more sense to donate that money too?

“Isn’t this breathtaking?”

That was one word for it. I scanned the crowd of Chicago’s elite, feeling as though my bow tie was getting tighter. There were women in cocktail dresses and men in tuxedos as far as the eye could see, and even though I was dressed to fit in, I felt one hundred percent out of place.

Ryan must’ve sensed my flight response kicking in, because he hooked an arm through my elbow.

“I still can’t believe Alexander invited us tonight. I know ENN had two tables to fill, but I’m not usually at the top of that list.”

Funny, that. “So why do you think he did it?”

“Invited us? Honestly? Because of you.”

So I was right. Alexander must’ve been digging around and found out about my connection to Future’s Hope.

“Yeah. Sorry. I think Alexander wants to get to know you.”

Right, and here I’d thought I was just here as a plus-one, not the night’s entertainment.

“Get to know me? What do you mean by that? Twenty questions or something?”

“No.” Ryan chuckled. “At least, I don’t think so. But if he starts going all journalist on you, I’ll cut him off.”

I nodded and fought back the urge to tell him that if Alexander got too nosy, I had no problem telling him to take a hike all on my own.

“Oh, and while we’re on the topic, there’s something else I should probably tell you before we get to our table.” Ryan’s cheeks flushed and his shy smile made me forget for a second just how on edge I was.

“What’s that, GQ?”

“The president of ENN is also here tonight.”

“Okay.” That seemed expected, since ENN was donating an obscene amount of money.

“Well, he lives with my best friend, Gabe.” Ryan grimaced. “So he’s here tonight too.”

“Your best friend?” In other words, I was about to spend the next couple of hours under the microscope. They better be serving alcohol at this thing.

“Are you mad?”

Mad wasn’t the right word, but I was definitely feeling on edge. It was hard enough to imagine myself sitting and making small talk with someone like Alexander Thorne. But now I had to impress Ryan’s best friend at an event for a charity that used to provide a roof over my head? That was a lot to fucking digest.

“I’m not mad.”

“Oh, good. I wasn’t sure if telling you would make you more anxious or less, so I figured I’d just let you know when you got here. But I promise, you’re going to love them all and fit right in.”

I seriously doubted it.

Ryan pressed a kiss to my cheek. “Come on, let’s go find our table.”

I let him lead me through the crowds of people milling about, then a young guy in a tux started waving madly in our direction.

“There they are. That’s Gabe.”

The best friend. Well, here goes nothing.

We headed to where several couples sat around tables. Gabe stepped out from behind his chair and walked over to us.

“Hey, Ry.”

“Hey.” Ryan let go of my arm to hug his friend, then they both turned to me. “Gabe, this is Jameson.”

Gabe flashed a smile that had probably gotten him his way his entire life and held his hand out to me. “Hey there. I’ve heard a lot about you.”

“Gabe…” Ryan said, but his friend just ignored him.

“Did you ride your motorcycle here tonight? I was hoping to show Marcus and try to convince him we should get one.”

Ryan snorted as I shook Gabe’s hand. “Uh, no. GQ drove us.”

“GQ?” Ryan flushed bright red as Gabe chuckled. “Okay, so I’ll get that story out of him some other time. For now, let me just say I’m so happy to finally meet you after hitting send on that little sext message Ryan wrote out for you.”

“Gabe!” Ryan smacked him on the arm.

“What? It’s true. You were too chicken. But clearly it worked. Look at you both. So handsome together.”

Ryan shook his head, and Gabe grinned.

“I’m actually surprised to see you both here tonight.”

“I know,” Ryan said. “Alexander kind of put us on the spot last week when he caught us making out down at the fire station.”

Gabe’s mouth fell open, then he looked to me. “Oh man, so there was no way out for you, huh? He’s making sure you’re good enough for his boy here. Well, come on, then. You might as well get through the painful introductions where everyone stares at you.”

Ryan shook his head. “It won’t be that bad.”

“Yes it will be,” Gabe said, and winked at me. “But then you can drink your way through the rest of the night.”

I liked Gabe. With his easygoing attitude, he’d given me a minute to forget about where I was and why. When he turned and headed back to the table, I said by Ryan’s ear, “Your friend’s cool. Can we leave now?”

I was dead serious, but Ryan laughed. “No… And don’t talk to him all night. I don’t want Marcus to get jealous and fire me.”

Turned out that wasn’t going to be a problem, because Gabe was seated at a table that was already full.

“Marcus always attracts an adoring crowd,” Ryan explained as he gestured to the tall blond man next to Gabe, who was sporting a serious expression.

“Really? Everyone looks scared of him.”

“Everyone is scared of him. But lucky for us, we don’t have to sit over there.”

Ryan led me around the second table, where there were several empty chairs.

Alexander spotted us, got to his feet, and gestured to the two seats by him. “Ryan, Jameson, I’m so glad you could make it.” Alexander aimed that famous smile in our direction, and while it looked genuine enough, there was a curiosity in his eyes that immediately put me back on guard.

“Us too. Is here okay?” Ryan said, oblivious to any kind of tension in me.

I nodded. He took a seat, and I pushed his chair in under him.

“Thank you,” he said, those gorgeous eyes softening.

“You’re welcome.” I went to pull out my own chair, and when I looked up, Alexander smirked and sat back down.

What was that about? I couldn’t get a read on this guy at all. But before I could try an analyze it further, Alexander turned to the rugged guy in the tux sitting to his right.

“Sean, this is Jameson. Jameson, this is my husband, Sean. He’s a detective with the CPD.”

Shit. That was right. Ryan had told me that. So not only was I sitting with a journalist but also a damn detective? Awesome. What could possibly go wrong?

Alexander rubbed Sean’s back. “He’s the one who gave me the idea for the segment on Chicago’s finest.”

“Hey there, man.” Sean tilted his head to me, and then winked at Ryan. “Look at you. Finally got yourself a boyfriend, huh?”

“Oh my God. Sean…” Ryan shifted in his seat.

Clearly not getting the memo to can it, Sean kept on going. “What? You’ve been going on forever about how you want to meet someone and fall in—”

“Sean.” Alexander turned to his husband and pinned him with a shut up look. “I think it’s very nice that Ryan brought a date tonight.” Alexander turned back to us. “You both seem very happy together.”

Nice try at making things less awkward, but the damage was already done. Ryan was clearly mortified, and I was…hell if I knew. But the only way I could see this improving was with alcohol.

I flagged down one of the waiters as they walked by. “Could I please get a bourbon? Neat?”

I looked at Ryan to see if he wanted anything, and when he nodded, I noticed his cheeks were flaming red. “I’ll have the same, thanks.”

I put in the order and couldn’t help but think this night was off to a fantastic start.

AN HOUR OR so later, the event was well underway, which meant the spotlight was off me and finally on the reason why everyone had paid a small fortune to be here.

Ryan and I were clearly a hot topic tonight, and between the whispers and stares and many questions I’d been asked, I felt as though I was being interviewed for a job at ENN.

Where are you from?

What do you do for a living?

Do you have a brother?

How did you and Ryan meet?

I’d answered them all nice enough, I supposed, but that had more to do with the bourbon than my need to impress, as did Ryan’s return to his usual easygoing nature.

For the first few minutes we’d been seated, Ryan seemed as caught off guard as I was by the interest in the two of us. But two courses in and he was relaxed and laughing and…getting up from his chair?

Shit, where was he going?

“Do you mind if I go and say a quick hello to Marcus?”

I glanced over at the table where Gabe was grinning at Mr. Serious and flirting with his lapel.

“They’re kind of nauseating, I know, and usually I’d avoid this altogether. But since he paid for me—us—to be here tonight, I figure I should go and thank him.”

“Yeah, no worries. I’ll come with you.”

“Oh God.” Ryan laughed and put a hand on my shoulder. “I’m not going to put you through that.”

“He’s not wrong.”

I peered around Ryan to see Sean grinning at the two of us.

“Marcus is best experienced as you’re saying goodbye and walking out the door.”

Ryan’s eyes widened. “I didn’t say that.”

“Yeah, but that’s what you meant. Don’t you worry. I’ll look after your man here while you go and suck up to the king.”

Ryan shook his head and looked back to me. “I’ll just be a few minutes. Is that okay?”

As much as I wanted to say no, I nodded and watched him walk off to the other table. When the waiter came by to take my empty plate, I wanted to ask him how many more meals I had to sit through before the night was over.

“So, Jameson, how are ya finding station seventy-three?” Sean asked, and I was grateful his question had nothing to do with mine and Ryan’s relationship.

“It’s good. I like it a lot. Chief Parker’s great, and so’s my lieutenant.”

“Olsen, right?”

“Yeah, that’s right. Hey, he roomed with your brother for a while, didn’t he?”

“Yep, he sure did. Till Kieran bailed on us all and moved south.”

Something Sean was obviously thrilled about, judging by the frown on his face. “Maybe he wanted a change.”

“Nah, fucker fell in love and ditched us all.” Sean laughed, and everyone at the table looked our way. “Not that I can blame him. Bash is way better looking than you bunch down at seventy-three.”

I’d never met this Bash guy, so I didn’t have an opinion one way or another.

“Plus, who’d want to leave Chicago, am I right?” Sean grinned at the rest of the table, who nodded along with him. “You understand; you grew up here. Whereabouts did you say?”

I hadn’t. Several people had asked me where I was from tonight, and “Chicago” seemed like a good enough answer for them. It wasn’t that I gave a shit one way or another if these people knew where I was from. But as I stared at Ryan, who was surrounded by everyone in their fancy evening wear, I realized just how out of place I was. I didn’t belong here. What the hell did I think I was doing, trying so hard to fit in?

So finally, I spoke up.

“South Side.”

“No shit.”

Ryan looked up, and when he noticed everyone at the table staring at me and Sean, he began to make his way back over.

But I didn’t need anyone to come to my rescue, especially not about this.

“Yep. Born and raised.”

Sean whistled and clapped me on the back. “Born and survived, more like it. Man, your side of town sure kept me busy this last decade. How’d you get out?”

Get out? Wow. I’d spent my entire life being looked down on for where I came from, which was why I made it a hard and fast rule to never stray too far. Tonight, I’d broken that rule, and this was the consequence.

As the blood began to ring my ears and everyone’s attention seemed to zero in on me—the odd man out—I tightened my fingers around my tumbler and downed the remaining contents.

“I didn’t get out. I was forced out by rich assholes buying up every part of the city and claiming it as their own. So I guess in your opinion I was just fucking lucky, huh.”

The table fell silent just as Ryan reached it, and as much as I wanted to play nice for him, I couldn’t do it anymore. This was not me.

I got to my feet, ready to make my exit, but that was when the lights dimmed and a video of Future’s Hope—A New Beginning began to play on a large projection screen.

A tragic scene of a young girl on the streets appeared. She begged for money while protecting what little she had. It then merged into black-and-white stills of the rooms at Future’s Hope. Rooms that I’d slept in, cried in, and at times hidden in played out for everyone to take pity on, and I cursed under my breath as I tossed my napkin on the table.

I looked at Ryan, and when more pity was aimed my way, I did what I should’ve done the second we pulled up at this place tonight—I got the hell out of there.

OceanofPDF.com

Chapter 33

OceanofPDF.com

Ryan

SHIT. THIS WAS not good. In fact, it was very, very bad. I watched Jameson walk out of the ballroom with what I believed was every intention of not coming back.

I’d known tonight’s event was about as far out of Jameson’s comfort zone as he could be. But as I watched his broad shoulders disappear from view, I realized I’d pushed too hard.

Of course Jameson had said yes when Alexander put him on the spot at the station. He’d felt responsible for our being caught making out on the job and done what he felt was right in that situation. But from the minute he’d found out tonight was more than just a small dinner at a nice restaurant, I’d noticed the change in him.

It was subtle at first, the tension that crept back in. The closer we got to tonight, the quieter and more withdrawn he’d become. I’d told myself over and over that I gave him plenty of outs during the week. But if I were being honest, I’d known Jameson was too proud to back out—and I’d selfishly ignored it.

The discomfort I’d seen in him just now made my stomach churn. When Sean had inadvertently drawn a spotlight to the very thing Jameson was most sensitive about, I realized how thoughtless I’d been.

I hurried around the table, about to go after him, and as I brushed by Alexander, Sean took my arm, drawing me to a halt.

“Hey. I didn’t mean to offend your guy just now.”

I put a hand over Sean’s and offered a pretty weak smile. “I know. I think it just hit a nerve, that’s all.”

I looked to Alexander whose expression was full of concern.

“Thank you for inviting us. The dinner was lovely and the cause amazing. I think we’re going to be heading home now, though.”

“Of course.” Alexander squeezed my arm and nodded. “I hope Jameson’s okay, and if you need anything, call me.”

I nodded then hurried out of the ballroom. As I took the elevator downstairs, I prayed I wasn’t too late, that Jameson was still here. But when I stepped out into the lobby, there was no sign of him.

Snow was falling now, soft and soundlessly glistening under the lights, as I rushed over to the revolving doors. When I emerged on the other side, I saw him.

Jameson was down by the curb, facing the road. He had a light dusting of snow on his dark hair and jacket. When I stopped beside him, he shoved his hands in his pockets.

The message was loud and clear, even in its silence. The idea that I’d inadvertently pushed him away devastated me.

“If you’ve come out here to try to get me to come back inside, you might as well save your breath.”

I studied his profile as he stared out into the street, and noticed the tic in his jaw. He was practically vibrating with emotion, and I knew the only way for us to have a chance of getting past this was to talk about it—now.

“I’m not here to ask you to come back. I’m here to apologize.”

Jameson angled his chin up, and the proud, silent stance made my heart ache.

“I shouldn’t have made you come tonight. I knew you were uncomfortable, but I thought once you got around everyone—”

“That I’d be so impressed by all the glitz and glam that I’d want to be a part of it? Yeah, I was a part of it, all right. The part that everyone in there was pitying and getting all teary-eyed over. Did you know I used to stay at Future’s Hope? Did Alexander tell you that?”

“What? No.” I’d had no idea, and there was no way Alexander did, or he wouldn’t have put Jameson through this tonight.

“Yeah, so all that pity, it wasn’t wasted. It was aimed in the exact right direction.”

“No one in there was pitying you.”

“Really?” Jameson scoffed. “Then you were sitting on the wrong side of the table, GQ, because that’s all I saw. Even Sean was feeling sorry for me by the end of it.”

“Sean didn’t mean anything by what he said.” I worried my lower lip, trying to think of a way to put this that would make any kind of sense. “It’s just…he’s known to put his foot in his mouth more often than not.”

“And that’s what you think he did in there? Put his foot in his mouth? I don’t think so. He meant exactly what he said. My side of town has kept him busy, and guess what? That includes dealers and users like my family. Want to come home and meet them?”

Jameson turned away from me as though he were about to walk off, and I quickly took hold of his arm. When he glanced down at my hand, I was reminded of the first time we’d met. I’d taken a chance then, and I did the same here, knowing I needed to somehow break through this massive wall that had just appeared between us.

“You’re right. What he said was insensitive and completely uncalled for, and you have every right to be mad about it.”

Jameson’s eyes narrowed. “I’m not mad about what he said. It’s the fucking truth. I’m mad at myself.”

I frowned. “Why? You didn’t do anything.”

“Didn’t I? I came here tonight pretending to be someone I’m not. Then was caught with my fucking pants down when someone reminded me of who I really am.”

“And who’s that?”

“Not this person,” Jameson shouted, gesturing to the tuxedo. “This isn’t me. I don’t belong up there with you, sipping on fancy wine and eating a meal that has enough courses to feed three families. I feel like a fucking traitor.”

I could feel the agitation and disappointment rolling off him in waves.

“Everyone in that room was looking at me and wondering what the hell I was doing there. But we both know, don’t we? I was there to pass inspection. I was there to make sure everyone approved. Well, I hate to break it to you, GQ, but I think I might’ve failed.”

“Jameson,” I said, my heart aching. “I don’t care what anyone up there says. I don’t care if they approve or not. I’m here with you because I want to be.”

“Yeah? Well, I’m not sure if that makes you naïve or insane.”

“It doesn’t make me either of those things. It makes me happy. You make me happy. And the only one judging you right now is yourself.”

Jameson cursed and mumbled something as he ran an agitated hand through his hair.

“You don’t understand,” he said so quietly I almost missed it. “You’ll never understand how it feels… Those people up there in that ballroom watching that marketing piece of the homeless girl. You know, the one at the end with the shopping cart full of cans? The one they’d usually take a wide berth around? Yeah, she’s suddenly someone they want to help if it’s in the form of a big, fat check that they can write off at tax time. But that homeless girl, she came from somewhere. She has a family somewhere, and using her as some sort of call to action…” He pulled at his tie and tugged it free. “It’s fucking wrong.”

I swallowed and looked down at my feet, wondering how I’d made such a mess of this. As I struggled to work out what to say, a car pulled up to the curb, and I realized I was too late.

“I’m outta here,” Jameson said as he shoved the tie in his pocket and flicked open several buttons of his shirt. As he began to walk to the vehicle, I felt my panic begin to rise.

“Wait.” Jameson turned back to face me, and I ran over to him. “Where are you going?”

“I don’t know.”

“Then why don’t you let me get the car and we can go together?”

“I don’t think so.”

I stared at his unsmiling mouth and twisted my hands together, knowing this next move was a risky one. Then I threw all caution to the wind and took his hands in mine.

“Don’t leave like this. I know it was wrong to push you into coming here tonight. It was stupid and selfish, and I should’ve realized long before now how you would’ve felt up there. But please, don’t leave.”

My heart thumped as we stood there in the falling snow, my mind wandering back to the old corner store, and the kiss that we shared…

What a difference a week could make.

“I have to. This isn’t me, GQ. I don’t belong here.” He went to turn away, but before he could, I grabbed his lapels, holding him in place.

“Then show me where you do belong. I’ve been begging you to show me for weeks now.”

His eyes roved over my face, his indecision clear.

“Show me who you are, Jameson. I want to know.”

OceanofPDF.com

Chapter 34

OceanofPDF.com

Jameson

“MAKE A LEFT at the next street, then a right at the end. You should recognize where we are after that.”

Tonight had been an absolute train wreck. From the moment we’d stepped inside to right now, as Ryan carefully maneuvered us through the Saturday night traffic and across town. I probably should’ve insisted he stay at the Peninsula, considering the mood I was in, but I was starting to realize I was unable to deny him. That was what had gotten me into this mess in the first place.

“This is your friend’s bar, Jon’s.” He pulled up to the curb and shut the engine off, and as the lights illuminated the street we’d met on, I wondered what the hell I was doing.

From the moment I met Ryan, I’d been breaking all my rules. Getting involved, letting someone in, caring… And what had happened? I’d gone and fucked it all up.

I unbuckled my seatbelt and went to open the door, but just before I climbed out, I felt a hand on my arm.

“I really am sorry about tonight.” Ryan’s voice was quiet, his words a plea to let him back in when everything inside me was screaming to do the opposite. But I nodded.

I climbed out of the car and looked across the roof. Still dressed for the night’s event, Ryan looked handsome as ever in his tuxedo. His black jacket was tailored for his broad shoulders and tall frame. The bow tie was impeccably knotted at the base of his throat. He’d swept his thick chestnut hair back and to the left where the part dictated.

He was like a diamond in the rough out here: shiny, polished, and so fucking beautiful that he was hard to look at.

I flicked open the button on his jacket and took hold of his bow tie.

Ryan halted my hands. “What are you doing?”

“In case you hadn’t noticed, we’re not on your side of town anymore. Do you remember what happened the last time you were here?”

Ryan swallowed. “Yeah, I met this pretty amazing guy.”

I stuffed his tie into his pocket, then flicked open the top button of his shirt. “Well, if you’re lucky, Mitch might be here tonight. It is Saturday.”

A surprised chuckle left Ryan. “Jameson… I never meant to hurt—”

“I know.” And I did. Ryan couldn’t have known how tonight would go. He’d thought the worst of it would be a few questions about who I was. He didn’t know anything about Future’s Hope; I’d never mentioned it by name. But the cut was still too raw, and I needed time to let it heal, and whenever my life went to shit, this was where I ended up.

“Come on.” I was about to lead us through the side door of Jon’s when Ryan frowned and looked over his shoulder to his car.

“Uh, is that going to be there when we come out?”

I peered around his shoulder and shrugged. “It’s fifty-fifty.”

When Ryan’s eyes widened and the familiar surroundings enveloped me, I felt some of the tension from the night ease.

“Are you being serious?”

“Yeah, but don’t worry. We can usually track down the parts when they’re sold around the neighborhood.” When Ryan just stood there, I snorted. “I’m playing with you, GQ. Most people round here know better than to mess with Jon.”

He looked slightly more comforted by that.

“Come on. Let’s get out of the cold.”

I entered a code into the keypad and held the door open for Ryan. As he walked by, his delicious scent swirled around me, and I was again reminded of how far I’d let things progress since that first night here at Jon’s.

When the door shut behind us, the classic rock that was the soundtrack to my life filled the air, and Ryan stopped and looked back at me. The hallway was tight and the lighting pretty shit, but after the chaos and turmoil of the night, I finally felt like I was home.

I backed him up against the wall and, before he could say a word, crushed my lips down onto his. I wasn’t sure what kind of response I’d get after everything that had gone down, but when he grabbed my lapels and pulled me to him, I sank into every single feeling I’d been keeping bottled up inside me.

The fury, the passion, the frustration of the night—I poured it all into the kiss as I devoured his mouth.

Ryan moaned and slid a hand over my shoulder. I pushed my tongue between his lips, and when he sucked on it, my cock stiffened.

I ran a hand down to his thigh and hiked it up around my waist, then began to grind myself up against his tight body. I nipped at his lower lip and began to kiss my way up his jaw to his ear, and I could feel his hard-on rubbing up against mine.

The steady pounding of the music was in time to the throbbing of my dick. I was about two seconds away from pulling him into Jon’s back office when the sound of someone clearing their throat interrupted my plans. Ryan tensed as I shut my eyes and counted back from ten.

When I finally had myself under some kind of control, I raised my head and spotted Jon. The fucker had his arms crossed and a smile the size of Texas on his smug lips.

“Date night?”

“Yeah,” I said. “We heard this place had a new dress code.”

Jon glanced down at his usual flannel and jeans. “No one told me about it. But with the rate you’re tearin’ each other’s clothes off, I figure I’ll score myself a jacket and pants in a few more minutes.”

“Shut the hell up,” I said.

“I don’t think we’ve officially met,” Jon said, holding his hand out. “Suspenders, am I right? I’m Jon.”

Ryan swallowed and pushed off the wall, and I had a feeling his cheeks were flaming red.

“Uh, yeah, that’s me. I’m Ryan.” He took Jon’s hand and shook. “I believe I have you to thank for that first night I was here?”

“Depends which part you’re thanking me for, the free drinks or making Jameson go save you.”

“Making him? Oh, I see how it is.” Ryan looked at me. “In that case, definitely the free drinks.”

I narrowed my eyes as Jon laughed and clapped me on the arm.

“Yeah, yeah, asshole.” I shook my head. “You gonna give us free drinks tonight, or you wanna maybe move so we can go buy some at your bar?”

“You’re gonna sit at my bar dressed like that?”

He had a point. GQ had attracted enough attention the first time he was here. The last thing I wanted was eyes on us tonight, especially when I’d just gotten out from under a microscope.

“Why don’t you go into my office? I have feeling that’s where you were headed anyway. What happened? You spend all your money at the opera and not have enough for a hotel room?”

“Jesus, Jon.”

“Hey, it’s a legit question. I can’t remember ever seeing you in a tux. I’m shocked you even own one.”

“I don’t, I rented it, and if you’re done being a total pain in the ass, I’ll take a bottle of your best bourbon.”

He looked between us and frowned. “A whole bottle?”

“It’s been a long night.”

Jon didn’t say anything, knowing me well enough that if I was reaching for the bottle, then something must’ve gone down. Instead, he moved to his office and shoved open the door.

As Ryan stepped inside, Jon offered his friendliest smile, but it always came off a little craggy and scary.

“If this guy gives you any trouble, you let me know, okay?”

Ryan nodded. “He won’t.”

“Uh huh.” Jon aimed a doubtful look at me, but I didn’t want to get into all of that. I was well aware someone like Ryan was way out of my league, but that was the last thing I needed to hear from Jon right now.

I went to step inside, but before I had a chance, Jon took hold of my arm. “Can I talk to you for a second?”

Great, here we go. I could just imagine how this was going to go down. Jon pulled the office door shut, separating us from Ryan, and his smile dropped.

“You good?”

I should’ve known Jon would see through my act. He’d known me too long. Here I was showing up at his place looking for a hard drink and wearing a tux.

I ran a hand through my hair. “Why? Don’t I look good?”

“You look like someone I’ve never met before. So I’m gonna ask you again, you good?”

“Yeah.” I slipped my hands into my pockets, then sighed. “Was just reminded of where I do and don’t belong tonight. Nothing I didn’t already know.”

“Ah, okay. Now I’m starting to understand. Where were you tonight?”

“A charity event.”

“Oh. That’s better than what I was imagining.”

“You’d think, but I would’ve taken the fucking ballet or opera over this. Anything would’ve been better than what happened tonight.” When Jon just stared at me, I sighed. “It was Future’s Hope.”

“What was?”

“The charity they were all there donating to. It was Future’s Hope. Right there up on some damn movie screen. The kitchen I ate in, the room I fucking slept in. Where Simon—”

“Where Simon grew up. I know. I’m assuming no one there—including Ryan—knew you were in and out of there.”

“Well, he fucking does now.”

“Gotcha.”

I thought back to the way I’d blown up at the Peninsula and shook my head. “I kind of lost it on him.”

“Ryan?”

“Yeah. Between that and everyone asking a million questions about who I was and how the two of us met—it was too much. I didn’t belong there with them.”

“So you said.”

“You know I’m right. This is me. This bar. This side of town. Not the grand ballroom of the Peninsula.”

Jon shrugged. “Says who?”

“Says me, and every person there who clutched their fucking pearls when I told them I was from the South Side.”

“Well”—Jon looked to the shut office door—“he doesn’t seemed to have taken it too bad, and he’s the one that matters, right?”

I scrubbed my hands over my face. “It’s more complicated than that.”

“Is it?” Jon squeezed my shoulder. “Listen, you have this tendency to punish yourself for things out of your control, and you push people away, thinking that they’re going to feel the same. But that guy in there sure doesn’t look like someone who thinks badly of you. He looks like someone who thinks you’re pretty fucking great.”

“He deserves better than someone like me, Jon. He deserves the knight in shining armor. Not the poor street rat.”

“That’s bullshit, and you know it. Despite everything you went through as a kid, you pushed through it all and became someone I’m damn proud of.”

I squeezed my eyes shut, my emotions too raw, too close to the surface to hide.

“Your childhood, your sister, and Simon? None of that is your fault. It’s time to stop punishing yourself for things that are out of your control, Jameson.”

I opened my eyes. “I don’t know how.”

“You start by dealing with shit head-on. Like that man in there. The one who’s waiting on you despite whatever happened tonight. You tell him you’re a hot fucking mess but you’re working on it.”

He was right, I knew he was. But was it really fair to ask Ryan to have deal with all my bullshit?

“Then, when you’re ready, you go through the box of Simon’s things that I packed up from your old place.”

“What?” I blinked, trying to decide if what I’d just heard was real.

He gripped the back of my neck and squeezed tight. “You can be pissed, upset, whatever you like that I went there without your permission. But I knew you wouldn’t take them, Jameson, and I won’t let that be another thing you regret.”

My eyes blurred as I stared at him, stunned into silence. I didn’t know what to say or feel about what he’d just told me, but I wasn’t upset.

“The box is in my office. Whenever you want it, it’s yours.” He gave my neck a final squeeze then released me. “Now go. Your guy’s waiting. I’ll bring that bottle back in a few.”

I nodded, reached for the handle, then looked back to my friend and confidant and finally found my words. “Thanks, Jon. For everything.”

“Always, my friend. Always.”

OceanofPDF.com

Chapter 35

OceanofPDF.com

Ryan

JAMESON HAD BEEN out in the hall for a little while now.

I sat on a cracked vinyl couch in Jon’s office and looked around the small, cluttered workspace. There was a desk on one side with a clunky-looking computer that looked straight out of a nineties sitcom, and an in-tray with a stack of receipts and paperwork on the other side. A filing cabinet sat behind an old desk chair, and on top of that, a large box and a half-empty bottle of Wild Turkey.

It looked exactly the way you’d expect the office of a bar owner to look.

I stared at the door, waiting for Jameson to join me, and wondered what they were talking about.

The event, if I had to guess, and what a disaster it had been. Not for the charity but for the relationship I’d been working so hard to establish with Jameson. Tonight had not gone well at all, and it didn’t matter whether I knew about Future’s Hope or not. I’d pushed Jameson into something I knew he wasn’t comfortable with because I wanted him there, and that wasn’t right.

Politely pushy, wasn’t that what I’d told him? And what had he said? That I was good at manipulating people.

Hell, maybe I was. I hadn’t blackmailed Jameson into going tonight, but every time I sensed him getting ready to back out, I’d told him how excited I was and turned on the charm.

What kind of person did that make me?

I got up from the couch and began to pace, wondering how I would ever be able to win back his trust. Sure, he’d kissed me out there in the hall, but that had felt more like an outlet for his frustration. But one thing was for certain: I needed him to understand how sorry I was. I had a feeling that was going to take more than words.

At the sound of the door opening, I turned to see Jameson slip inside, and my breath caught at the sight. In his disheveled tux, he was devastating to look at. But then his eyes locked with mine, and the pain swirling in them sent a pang of guilt through me.

I took a step toward him. “Jameson—”

“Ryan—”

My words came to an abrupt stop. I couldn’t think of another time that Jameson had used my real name, and hearing it now brought home the magnitude of what I’d broken here tonight.

“Look, about tonight. I know it wasn’t your fault.”

I stared at my feet, finding it easier to say this when I wasn’t looking at him. “Maybe not directly, but indirectly I definitely played a part.” I took a deep, pained breath, my shame filling me. “I knew you didn’t want to go tonight, but I didn’t exactly give you an out, did I?”

“And you think that’s all on you?” Jameson tipped my chin up so I had nowhere to look but at him. “I could’ve been honest, told you that I was uncomfortable, that I didn’t want to go, but I didn’t. So I’m pretty sure there’s enough blame to go around.”

I nodded but still wasn’t convinced. I’d pushed him into doing something he didn’t want to do, while he’d done something because he thought it would make me happy. It was pretty obvious who the good guy was here, and it wasn’t me.

Jameson glanced over my shoulder to the large box that sat on the filing cabinet, then he walked around me and ran a hand over the top of it.

“Tonight was hard for a lot of reasons, and none of them were your fault.” He shrugged. “I’ve been carrying a lot of baggage around for a long fucking time, and tonight I dumped it all at your feet.”

I walked over, wanting to somehow comfort him. But I hesitated, unsure if that was what he wanted.

“You know what’s in this box?”

I had no idea. All I saw was a logo for bulk paper towels.

“Simon’s things. Jon went back to my old place before they changed the locks and packed them up for whenever I was ready to come get them.”

My heart ached at the careful, almost loving way Jameson stroked the box again. Then he looked at me, and the vulnerability in his eyes had me reaching for him. I placed a hand over his and interlaced our fingers.

“Are you ready now?”

“I want to be.” He looked back to the box and shook his head. “But I’m not there yet.”

I squeezed his fingers, then cupped his face with my other hand and slowly turned him my way. “It’s okay not to be ready yet. There’s no timeline for something like this. But what if we take it with us?”

I could see the indecision in his eyes as he struggled with the idea of facing his demons head-on, knowing there was tangible proof of all that grief right there inside that box.

“You don’t have to open it right now or even anytime soon. You can just store it back at our place, and when you are ready, it’ll be there for you.”

Jameson nodded and then lowered his head so his forehead was resting against mine. “I’m sorry about tonight, GQ. For losing my shit.”

“There’s nothing to apologize for.” I took his face in my hands. “Really. Nothing at all.”

Jameson closed his eyes, gripped my wrists, and pressed a kiss to my lips. I melted into him, giving him whatever it was he needed from me in that moment. He let go of my hands, and I wound them around his neck, then Jameson pulled me into his arms.

The kiss was soft, sweet, and full of apology as we stood there in the cramped office. I ran my fingers into the back of his hair, but then the sound of his cell phone ringing filled the air.

Jameson slowly released me, pulled his phone from his pocket, and frowned. He held up a finger and turned his back to me.

“Hello? Amy?”

Amy? Jameson’s sister?

I moved to the other side of the room to give Jameson some privacy, but I didn’t miss the tense set of his shoulders as he listened.

“Hang on a second, slow down.” He paused, listened, and then cursed. “Where are you?”

Jameson began to pace, rubbing the back of his neck.

“I can get there, but not for a few minutes. Do you need an ambu—” Jameson shook his head. “Okay, okay. No ambulance. But don’t you move, you hear me? You stay where you are. I’m coming right now.”

She must’ve agreed, because a second later, Jameson ended the call.

“Fuck.”

“That was your sister?”

“Yeah.” Jameson shoved his phone into his pocket just as there was a knock on the door.

It opened a crack and Jon stuck his head inside. “Everything all right in here?”

“No. Amy just called.” Jameson began pacing again. “You know, because tonight couldn’t get any more fucked up.”

Jon looked around for something to do with the bottle of bourbon and glasses he held, and I took them from him. Then he put his hands on Jameson’s shoulders, stilling him. “Hey, look at me. Tell me what she said.”

Jameson squeezed his eyes shut, pressing his fingers to them like he had a splitting headache—and after tonight, that wouldn’t be surprising.

“That someone knocked her around, says she needs my help. She’s under the bridge, but won’t let me send a fucking ambulance.”

“Okay.” Jon nodded. “What do you need?”

“I… Fuck,” Jameson said. “I need to go to her, obviously. I have no idea how badly she’s hurt, and she’s not going to tell me the truth.”

“Of course. Hey, I rode here tonight on my bike. You can take that.”

Wait, there was no way I was staying here while Jameson went off to deal with God knew what on his own, and on a bike? When it was starting to snow outside?

“No offense, Jon,” I said, stepping forward. “But I’m not staying here. Jameson, my car is outside, and I can drive you.”

“GQ…” Jameson sighed, and Jon let go of his shoulders. “That’s not a good idea. It’s best if you just stay here.”

“And let you go alone? I’m not going to do that. I have a car. If Amy needs to go to a hospital, how are you going to get her there? Let me help you.”

Jon shrugged. “Kid has a point.”

Jameson’s jaw bunched as he looked between us. “Okay. Let’s go.”

He scooped up the box of Simon’s belongings, and we went down the hall and pushed through the exit, Jameson shouting over his shoulder to Jon, “Keep your phone close. I’ll call you.”

OceanofPDF.com

Chapter 36

OceanofPDF.com

Jameson

MY STOMACH CHURNED as Ryan drove us through the back streets of my childhood, my mind filling with horrific scenarios of what we would find when we finally arrived at the bridge.

I hadn’t seen or heard from Amy since the day of that residential fire, and as always when she did resurface, it was because she needed help. I looked at the man behind the wheel and wondered what the hell was going through his head right now. We’d started this night dressed in tuxedos and dining on a hundred-thousand-dollar meal, and now here he was driving the streets of the South Side looking for my sister.

God, could our lives be more different? I didn’t think so. Even though we’d lived within a twenty-mile radius of each other, tonight it felt as though we were worlds apart.

“Up here to the right.”

Ryan gave a clipped nod and turned, and as the L track came into view, I sat forward in my seat.

“Wait a second,” Ryan said. “Isn’t this—”

“Where I used to live? Yeah. She’s meeting us under the tracks.”

Ryan glanced at me, but I kept my eyes trained on the windshield. I couldn’t afford to know what he was feeling right now, and I wasn’t really sure that I wanted to.

“If you could slow us down as we get closer, and shine the headlights over there?” I pointed to the empty strip of land under the tracks that served as anything from a spot to park your tent to a place to score whatever drug you were jonesing for. It was dark and secluded, and the cops only rolled by if they were called.

“Of course.”

“Thanks.” The tension in the air was palpable as Ryan brought the car to a crawl. When he angled the front of the vehicle under the bridge, a couple people scattered.

I unbuckled my seatbelt, but when Ryan did the same, I reached out and put a hand on the clasp.

“What do you think you’re doing?”

Ryan looked out the windshield, then back to me. “I’m coming with you.”

“No.” I shook my head, the thought of him setting foot out there causing alarm to rise inside me. “There is no way you’re leaving this car. When I get out, you’re going to lock the doors. Then I’m going to call you and keep you on speakerphone while I look for her.”

“But—”

“No,” I said, much harsher this time. “There’s no arguing here, GQ. Look at you, you’re in a fucking tuxedo.”

“So are you.”

“I don’t care about me. You stay put, you hear me?”

Ryan swallowed but nodded.

“Good.” I shoved open the car door and pulled out my phone. Once I had Ryan on the line, I shut the door behind me. “Lock the doors.”

Ryan blinked at me out the window, then said into the phone, “Okay. Be careful.”

I nodded, and after I heard the click of the locks, I turned and headed off to find Amy. I passed by several makeshift shelters that had just been abandoned when Ryan and I rolled up on them. But as I got a little further in, I spotted an old guy in torn sweatpants and an overcoat that had seen better days eyeing me from the shadows.

I headed in his direction, and when he eyed my jacket and realized I was someone who likely had cash, he ambled over to me.

“You looking for someone?”

I shrugged out of the hundred-and-fifty-dollar rental jacket I was wearing. “Yeah, small woman. Lots of dark hair. You seen her around here?”

The guy nodded and pointed further down to where a piece of metal roofing was propped up against a chain-link fence.

“Ran over there and hid a little while ago. Pretty beat up. Wouldn’t let no one help her.”

Jesus, Amy. What’s going on?

I handed over my jacket, and what cash I had on me, then thanked the guy and looked back to the road, where the car was still parked.

“You still there GQ? You okay?” I said, torn over whether to go any further without Ryan coming with me.

“I’m here and fine. Go get your sister, Jameson.”

Right. With my phone in hand, I jogged down to where the large sheet of metal was propped up. “Amy? Amy, you in there?”

I stepped over piles of cans and bottles that had been collected for exchange, and when a soft moan met my ears, I crouched down at the opening between the fence and metal. Huddled against the chain links was a small silhouette I would know anywhere.

“Amy…” My throat tightened as I turned on the flashlight on my phone and held it to the ground so I didn’t blind her. The image that came into view just about destroyed me.

Amy’s dark hair was a knotted mess that framed her bruised and bloodied face. Her lips were chapped, and her cheeks sunken in. She was half the size she usually was, and right now she was curled in on herself like a frightened animal.

I swallowed back my urge to demand who had done this to her and instead focused on getting her out of this place as soon as fucking possible.

“Amy,” I said softly as I moved to my knees and crawled a little ways inside her hiding spot. “Amy girl, what happened?”

“J…Jay?” She chewed on her lower lip as her eyes darted all around.

“It’s okay. No one’s going to hurt you anymore. I’m here.” I held my hand out, knowing the only way I was going to get her out of here was if she decided to come with me.

She swallowed and craned her head out to the side, trying to look around me, so I shined the light in that direction to let her see it was just me.

“Jay… I’m sorry. I really messed up.”

“Shh. You don’t have to do that, not with me.” I trailed my eyes down over her, trying to see if there was any damage beyond what I could see on her face. But there was no way to tell, curled into herself like she was. “I need you to come with me. That’s why you called, remember?”

A shiver racked her tiny body, and she squeezed her eyes shut, then winced and gripped her head.

“I… No…”

“Amy, you can’t stay here.”

“I have to,” she said, frantically shaking her head. “I have to stay. If I leave, he’ll find me.”

“Who? Who’ll find you?” As my voice got louder, she withdrew into herself a little more, and I ordered myself to calm the hell down. Getting emotional wasn’t going to help anyone right now. “Do you mean the guy who did this to you? Who is he?”

Tell me so I can fucking kill him.

“I can’t tell you.”

“Amy, you can tell me anything.”

“Not this.”

“Okay… Okay. You don’t have to tell me.” I held my hands up. “But I need you to come with me now. I need to make sure you’re okay. Are you hurt anywhere other than your eye and cheek?”

She reached up to touch her swollen face. “My side, it kinda hurts.”

I looked down to where she was protecting herself with her knees and tried not to think about what had been done to her. She wasn’t dressed warmly enough to be outside in this weather. A baggy sweater and thin leggings wouldn’t do shit, and as thin as she was, she had no body weight to help keep her warm either. I needed to get her out of here, and fast.

“Amy, listen to me. I don’t know how badly you’re hurt, but you called me for a reason. Let me help you.”

“I won’t go to the hospital, Jay.”

I already knew that. She knew how the system worked, had been through it enough times to remember. There’d be drug tests, psych tests, cops, and she’d rather take her chances out here than risk any kind of intervention in there.

“I won’t take you there.”

The doubt that entered her eyes was expected, because in the past I’d been the one doing all those things in an attempt to save her. This was different, though. She wasn’t high. I hadn’t walked in to find her passed out on the floor from an overdose. She’d been beaten, and if promising her no hospitals was the only way to get her out of the cold and somewhere I could at least check her out, then I’d give her whatever she wanted.

“I promise. No hospitals. I’ll take you to Jon’s. We’ll get you some warm clothes, warm food, then make sure you’re okay. That’s it.”

“That’s it?”

“You have my word.”

Amy finally uncurled her legs, wincing, and I backed out of her hiding place and held out my hand to her. She slipped her cold fingers into my palm, and as I gently guided her to her feet, she gasped and wrapped an arm around her waist.

There was no way she was walking out of here on her own, so I brought the phone up to my ear and said, “GQ, you still there? Everything good?”

“Yes. I’m fine.”

Something in his voice was a little off this time round, but I didn’t have time to analyze it.

“We’re coming your way now, but I have to hang up. Are you sure you’re okay?”

“I’m sure. I’ll be here. Just get her out safely.”

“Will do.”

I ended the call and saw Amy staring at me, suspicion in her eyes. “Who was that?”

“A friend. He’s going to drive you to Jon’s.”

She chewed on her lower lip, clearly trying to decide whether she trusted me. “He’s not a cop, is he?”

“No, he’s not a cop.” I shoved the phone in my pants pocket, and just as I was about to pick her up, she passed out in my arms.

Fuck, it was time to get out of here.

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Chapter 37

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Ryan

THE SNOW GLIMMERED in the beam of my headlights as it fell soundlessly to the ground outside. I had no idea how long I’d been sitting in my car with the doors locked and my hand clutching my phone. But the longer I sat there, the harder it began to fall.

Jameson had disappeared from sight some time ago now, and when he finally found his sister, what I’d heard was gut-wrenching.

I knew very little about Amy, but what I did know was how much her brother loved her. It was evident that night he’d told me he saw her at the fire. The pain and sadness of having lost contact with one you loved—I’d caught glimpses of that even though he’d tried to put up his shield. Tonight, when he found her, that shield had come back down.

“GQ, you still there? Everything good?”

“Yes. I’m fine.” I glanced outside at the thicker layer of white covering the ground and sent up a quick prayer that they were on their way back. I wouldn’t feel good again until the two of them were safe and in this car.

“We’re coming your way now, but I have to hang up. Are you sure you’re okay?”

A lump formed at the back of my throat, making it difficult to speak. I was touched that he would even to think to ask about me, with all that he was dealing with.

“I’m sure. I’ll be here. Just get her out safely.”

“Will do,” he said before he ended the call, and when my phone went dark and silence filled the car, I suddenly felt as though I was the last person on the planet.

I stared out the windshield, the blood ringing in my ears the only sound I could hear. I thought back over the course of the night and couldn’t help but think how justified Jameson was in what he’d felt tonight.

This was his life, and though I’d felt ashamed of myself when we left dinner earlier, I was now truly humbled. I thought I’d understood where he came from, that we really weren’t all that different. But as I sat in my locked car, staring at the unfortunate way life could so badly treat and disappoint people, I realized I knew nothing.

Small fires were popping up here and there under the tracks, people huddling around them searching for any kind of warmth they could find. It was heartbreaking to think they would spend the night out here, and I couldn’t help but feel a sense of urgency to be better and do more.

That was when I spotted the silhouette of a man walking out from under the tracks with a woman in his arms.

“Jameson…”

I unlocked the doors and shoved mine open as Jameson strode through the snow toward me. It was an image I would never forget. As he got closer, I quickly pulled open the back door for him.

His sister was tiny, and limp like a rag. She had a horrible gash on her face, and one of her eyes was swollen shut. My eyes welled as Jameson lowered her to the back seat, and I did my very best to blink away my tears before he turned to look at me.

“Thanks.” Jameson shut the door and walked around to the passenger side. “If you could take us back to Jon’s, I need to take a closer look at her.”

“Of course. Whatever you need.” When he said nothing else, just continued to look off into the darkness, I asked, “Jameson, are you okay?”

He glanced over the roof of the car at me, and the bleak expression in his eyes made my heart stop.

“No.” That was all he said before he opened his door and slid inside.

I sucked in a shaky breath and reminded myself that this was Jameson’s way. He’d never been much of a talker, but when things got difficult, he was the king of shutting down. I just had to look at how he’d dealt with losing Simon to know that.

He’d left behind a fire station that was like family, shut everyone out after losing his best friend and crew mate, and turned off his emotions rather than deal with them. He’d said as much tonight.

So I needed to take a step back here and let him go at his own pace. He would talk to me when he was ready.

I checked on Amy, who was curled up against the back seat with her eyes shut, and after Jameson buckled in and began texting someone—Jon, I assumed—I started the engine.

We drove back to the bar in silence, which was probably for the best with the way the snow was falling. I’d lived in Chicago my entire life, but that didn’t mean I liked driving around in this stuff.

I pulled into the spot I had earlier, and Jon pushed open the side door and came running over. Jameson was out of the car and opening the back door just as Jon reached him.

“Fucking hell.” Jon turned to Jameson, who was standing by the door, his knuckles white as he gripped the doorframe. “Who did this to her?”

“I don’t know. She wouldn’t tell me, and now she keeps going in and out…”

Jon looked back to Amy, then reached in and gently pushed some of the hair back from her face.

“This is nasty, Jameson. The motherfucker who did this—”

“I know.”

“Maybe we should take her to the hospital.”

“I promised I wouldn’t.”

Jon straightened. “You’ve promised that before.”

“Yeah, well, tonight I meant it. I already feel like a piece of shit that my sister is…” He swallowed. “I promised. So let’s get her inside and clean her up. If it looks worse—God knows how that’s possible—I’ll do whatever I have to.”

“Okay.” Jon put a hand on his shoulder. “Okay. Let me get her.”

Jon reached into the back of the car and scooped Amy up in his arms, and I ran over to pull open the side door for him. Jameson followed him inside, but as I stepped in behind him, he stopped and turned on me. The move so sudden I nearly stumbled into him.

“I—” Jameson glanced over my shoulder. “I think this is where you should probably go home now. Where we should put an end to this.”

“This?” I blinked at the man I’d come to admire as much as I desired.

“Us. I was kidding myself to think that I could be who you need. Who you could want in your life.” He held his hands out and looked around the narrow hall. “I mean, this is it, GQ. This is my life.”

He started to laugh, and it sounded almost manic.

“Cheap bars, runaway sister, emotionally fucked-up beyond anything you can imagine. I’m not the hero you always dreamed of. I’m nobody’s hero. I couldn’t save Simon, and I can’t even save my own sister.”

He ran a hand though his hair and then turned away from me. “It’s just better if you go. A clean break. I’ll come by and pack my stuff up later.”

My heart sank as I stared at Jameson’s back, the ground between us splintering and fractioning, as my eyes began to sting.

He was hurting. This was a gut reaction. That’s what this was about.

Tonight had been one thing after another, a rollercoaster of emotions that had flown right off the fucking tracks.

But this couldn’t be where it ended, not when we’d just begun.

“If you want me to leave, then I’ll leave. But before I go, you need to understand something.” I waited until Jameson faced me, and put a hand over his heart. “I don’t need you to save me. I never have. I want you, not some ridiculous fantasy.”

Jameson stood stoic and silent as I leaned in to press a kiss to the corner of his mouth, and I wasn’t surprised at all when he didn’t reach for me.

As much as it pained me, somewhere in the back of my mind, I think I’d expected this. Things had been going too well. We’d moved from friends to lovers to a place where Jameson started to open up to me, and while I’d reveled in the idea of falling in love, he had panicked, and this was the final outcome.

“I hope Amy’s okay, and that you can get her the help that she needs.” I slipped my hands into my pockets, so I wouldn’t reach for him again. “You think you can’t save her, but what do you think you did tonight?”

When it was clear that this was it, that the conversation was over, I nodded and headed for the door. But just before I pushed through it, I stopped and looked back at Jameson, wanting one final image to remember him by, before I locked him away in my heart forever.

I pushed open the exit door and stepped out into the chilly night air. Then I crossed my arms over myself, and finally let the tears fall free.

What had just happened in there? How could this be it?

I couldn’t believe how this night had gone or how it had just ended.

I unlocked my car and opened the door, and just as I was about to crawl inside, I heard—

“Hey, GQ?”

My heart stopped as I glanced over my shoulder to see Jameson standing on the sidewalk. He was wearing a leather jacket now and had his hands in his pockets, and with the white snowflakes in his dark hair, he was the most beautiful man I’d ever seen.

I held my breath as I walked back toward him, and when he met me halfway, my fool heart felt as though it were about burst.

Jameson reached out, took my hands, and pulled me in close. His eyes searched mine, full of questions, and full of…hope. “You don’t need me to save you, huh?”

A tear slipped free as I wound my arms around his neck.

“No…” Then I took the biggest chance of my life and handed my heart over to him. “I think I’m here to save you.”

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Thank You

Thank you for reading WICKED HEAT.

I hope you enjoyed the beginning of Ryan & Jameson’s love story. I can’t wait for you to see how GQ finally wins over his Grump in WICKED FLAME!

Book two of Ryan & Jameson story

WICKED FLAME

(Chicago Heat Series #2)

Pre-Order Here

~

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Also by Ella Frank

The Exquisite Series

Exquisite

Entice

Edible

The Temptation Series

Try

Take

Trust

Tease

Tate

True

Confessions Series

Confessions: Robbie

Confessions: Julien

Confessions: Priest

Confessions: The Princess, The Prick & The Priest

Confessions: Henri

Confessions: Bailey

Prime Time Series

Inside Affair

Breaking News

Headlines

Intentions Duet

Bad Intentions

Good Intentions

Sunset Cove Series

Finley

Devil’s Kiss

Masters Among Monsters Series

Alasdair

Isadora

Thanos

Standalones

Blind Obsession

Veiled Innocence

Pure Seduction

PresLocke Series

Co-Authored with Brooke Blaine

Aced

Locked

Wedlocked

Fallen Angel Series

Co-Authored with Brooke Blaine

Halo

Viper

Angel

An Affair In Paris

Lust. Hate. Love

Elite Series

Co-Authored with Brooke Blaine

Danger Zone

Need For Speed

Classified

Dare To Try Series

Co-Authored with Brooke Blaine

Dare You

Dare Me

Truth Or Dare

Co-Authored with Brooke Blaine

Sex Addict

Shiver

Secrets & Lies

Wrapped Up in You

All I Want for Christmas…Is My Sister’s Boyfriend

Jingle Bell Rock

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About the Author

If you’d like to get to know Ella better, you can find her getting up to all kinds of shenanigans at:

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(Facebook Group)

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And if you would like to talk with other readers who love Ella’s character’s from her Chicagoverse, you can find them HERE at

Ella Frank’s Temptation Series Facebook Group.

Ella Frank is the USA Today Bestselling author of the Temptation series, including Try, Take, and Trust and is the co-author of the fan-favorite contemporary romance, Sex Addict. Her Exquisite series has been praised as “scorching hot!” and “enticingly sexy!”

Some of her favorite authors include Nora Roberts, Tiffany Reisz, Riley Hart, J.R. Ward, Erika Wilde, and Carly Philips. 

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